Reactions at the sight of an empty baggie.

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

Who is this masked hero(ine)? Doth she wear the mark of Zorro? Or Zeppo? The Ides of March are past, so we're safe that way! Could it merely be a very friendly afficianado hanging (eeek - what's hanging.....) about these bits er parts for a while? Ah, the adventures of FUBG and crew, always entertaining...

Kris,

Yoli here, workin' at the house, but back to the office tomorrow...sniff.

Be assured that I am, have always been, and hope to repeat if reincarnated, female. Wouldn't change that except maybe for the monthly aggravations. Luckily, no pain and no period being dangerous to even say "Good Morning" to.

Yes, I'm a friendly sort, to anyone who is deserving and, hopefully, reciprocal.

Mark of Zorro? No! Mark of Prada? Mark of Gucci? Yoooooooooo...betcha!

Ash(leigh), BTW is also all-woman, all the time and I'm delighted with that!

To sum me up:I'm a young woman of Spanish (NOT Mexican) descent. I'm educated...halfway to a Master's, but may NEVER finish. I'm hardworking, harder playing. I like, I mean, LOVE, sex with men, women, and, obviously, eunuchs. Opportunities for sex with intact men arise virtually daily (see previous post) but the ONLY one I "do it" with is BigGuy, and that's when his bride, the original FUBG, is participating.

I admit a case of the hots for my almost-elderly boss with the huge "item" as described in an earlier thread, but I know that will never come about. I'd give a year's bonuses just to hold "It" and maybe steal a nibble or two...Wellll, maybe just a month's salary.

I am versatile in other ways too. Hunting, serious Bass fishing, Fly Fishing, and some saltwater angling are high on my list and I enjoy them often. Wanna see the boat I fish from, bass-wise? Well, go to the BassCat Boats site and look at the Pantera IV. I'd post a pic of "ours" but the registration number is NOT for publication. Not mine, of course, but at my disposal year-round, pretty much. I do some kayaking too, but got the poopay frightened out of me by a huge 'gator at Choke Canyon Lake TX last year so choose my water more carefully.

I can back a boat trailer better than most guys, and usually outfish them...I CONCENTRATE! Largest bass so far in '07...Seven pounds, six ounces, using the "Dropshot" method.

I usually have my limit of dove or quail before the others...I practice and I CONCENTRATE!

I keep a loaded handgun (9MM Semi-auto) in the car, legally, and under my pillow. There's also a loaded 20 gauge pump easily to hand when I'm home.

I shoot and gut my own Bambis (not bad when it's a neck shot) and Porkys (YUK!) and help butcher and package same.

I clean my own fish, although I'm religious about "Catch and Release" for bass and some saltwater species.

I have a sign that I can stick in the rear window of my current ride that says "PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals"

I vote Republican and want the border sealed, all illegals deported, and Nancy Pelosi shot for treason. For Hillary I'll settle for The Home for Ugly Bitches.

I've never so much as sewn on a button, but I am a pretty good chefette and a darned good, well, generous, bartender.

So that's Yolanda, your little ray of sunshine.

I am who I am....and who I say I am. What you "see" is what you get.

Someday I may post a pic...gotta win the Lotto first, and maybe some of you will wanna keep your balls, or get them back, as the case may be.

Sorry for the sermon. I stretched it to have more time away from work.

As ever,

Your Loving Yoli

[truly committed (imported)]

prada and gucci i prefer the trash look! you are intresting lady!!!!

[Arab Nights (imported)]

Hey Yoli! Don´t worry about turning 40. Rosie is now 41 and has the bod of a treintona. Take a look at the photos of Cecilia Bolocco and you can see 40 is sexy. Rosie is even sexier and sex is better than ever.

Speaking of Latin culture(we were?), there is a publication down here in Chile called The Clinic. It is a real counterculture kick. A couple of issues back the front page featured ¨Yolanda Cachanda.¨ It had the face of Bachelet stuck on the image of a famous fortuneteller. The subheadlines states she know ¨quien funciona.¨I wanted to scan and post it here, but that cannot be done.

You have me on the edge of my seat. You mentioned the boat with the gal that was falling all over herself to meet Barry. One guy on the boat started to get a boner, implying he either liked you or was turned on by the idea of castration. I was hoping you´d fill us in on how that is developing and if eventually you can get the boner guy with your little group.

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

Too bad she's a lousy shot with her pistol and shotgun! And maybe she can back a boat down a boatramp. But can she pilot the thing in a storm? Or, does she have trouble bringing said craft into a slip in a crowded marina or gas dock on a windy day?

She might be able to sew on a button - I'll she can. Can she sew up a live scrotum? I'm certain she can if she CONCENTRATES!

Can you do all that girl? If so, come and get yer testicles!

Yoli here, waiting out the rainstorm before heading to the office.

You misread my post. I a considered a VERY good wingshooter. Yes, I CAN back a trailer and CAN drive a boat ONTO the trailer and put the bow right into the roller.

Buttons? Nope! Tried a few times and wound up whimpering for the sympathy vote, with a pricked finger.

Scrotum? Though I THINK I wanna witness a 'stration, I'd probably either faint or run squealing out of sight. That pretty much eliminates any chance of "sewing"...so you'll have to "Suture self".

I see another post deserving of a response, so off I go.

Yoli

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

Hey Yoli! Don´t worry about turning 40. Rosie is now 41 and has the bod of a treintona. Take a look at the photos of Cecilia Bolocco and you can see 40 is sexy. Rosie is even sexier and sex is better than ever.

You have me on the edge of my seat. You mentioned the boat with the gal that was falling all over herself to meet Barry. One guy on the boat started to get a boner, implying he either liked you or was turned on by the idea of castration. I was hoping you´d fill us in on how that is developing and if eventually you can get the boner guy with your little group.

'Rab,

I Googled C. Bolocco and I will state, unequivocally, that if THAT is what I'll look like at Forty, I will swallow poison one day before my fortieth birthday.

She has mousey boobs (I don't! ), no ass (I sure have a round tushy!) and skinny legs (Mine are curvy.) In short, there's more of me to adore, and all in proportion.

Re the people that we encountered on the lake; We've (including Barry) not been together as a crew since that event. There has been some activity, all verbal, involving the lady you mentioned and I will fill you in as time permits.

The guy with the stiffie? No further knowledge save for what that woman told me during telephone contact. Again, later, but now have to face wet roads and scoot to the office for a brief planning session and traditional Friday luncheon with the bosses and fellow slaves.

Will try to find time this late afternoon through tomorrow AM to elaborate re those folks.

Luv,

Yoli,

Soggy in San Antonio

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

And the Dumbass Award goes to...(Drum roll, please!...RRRRRRRRRRR)

Miss Yolanda T. Airhead, for setting her alarm sloppily and being awakened hours too early...so here I sit.

I can't recall if I updated you on the lady that reacted so "Wow"ishly to the sight of BBB (Barry's Barren Ballbag) at the lake some days ago. Well, get comfy 'cause I'm gonna.

We spoke again, via phone, a few days ago, and arranged to meet in Buda, just south of Austin, then convoy further south to San Marcos to have lunch and raid the huge outlet mall there, called "Tanger".

Well, we met in Buda at, of all places, the big Cabela's there. I needed to pick up a gift of fishing gear to present to a friend. Only Cabela's has it, so I couldn't just run to the the Bass Pro maybe twenty minutes from home. (BPS has a bar too!)

So, she and I had lunch and chatted discreetly, then melted a credit card apiece at Tanger. I must have more shoes than Imelda Marcos. Post that we drove to a park on the river, called Five Mile Dam, and spoke of you-know-whom and you-know-what.

We exchanged a peck or two and she, uh, accidentally touched my breasts...for about five minutes, and I hers. All this was purely accidental, I swear. I then took her back to her car and off she went, calling me later to say "Thanks" and other interesting things.

Now, before Barry (he's in town), Ash(leigh), and I left for the ranch late Friday I called the lady (we'll call her Marlene, 'cause that's her name.) I invited her to join our little mob at the ranch. Sadly, she had other plans. But we promised to meet again soon and Barry has tentatively agreed to let her have a closer peek. She has a refined English manner and accent, BTW, and came to the US about fifteen years ago. Is a citizen now.

The weekend was fine except for some monsoon rains and terrifying lightning.

Food was great and, as usual, I pigged out repeatedly. The bar was all-too-well stocked when we got there and all-too-well depleted when we left.

We did manage some skinnydipping despite the lightning fears and even caught a few fish in the river, at least I did!

I hope everyone here had a wonderful Memorial Weekend and that you all, our foreign friends included, took time to remember the sacrifices of our, and your, servicemen and women. I know I did...

God Bless All!

Yoli

Sleepwalker

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

Yolanda is in the House!

Yawwwwwnnnnnnn...I didn't sleep well at all. That's probably because I was a demure little chica last night. No partying. No alcohol save for a Mojito before dinner and a nice wine with dinner. I jogged three miles, swam steadily for 15 minutes, showered, went to bed, read for thirty minutes, then it was "lights out"...all except mine. I tossed. I turned. I counted sheep. I counted eunuchs. Finally, circa Midnight, I went off the air.

Circa 5AM I was up and/or at 'em. Why? WHYYYYYYYY???

Thanks for listening, and now...

I'm sure you all remember Marlene, the lady in (on?) the pontoon boat from a few weeks ago. Well, Ms Marlene will be arriving this AM to spend three days and two nights as our guest. Barry is already here from Lubbock (What a dump!) and the ballsless bum is still sound asleep in a guest room. He's been sleeping soundly since 11PM...I hate him.

Marlene and I have met once more since the one previous time I've already related. I went to Austin and checked into an Omni for three days (business related, expenses paid by office...heehee.) She came over the first night and took me to dinner at some fancy joint. I thought that other diners and the staff might have been a teeny bit scandalized by our pretty obvious flirting and seductive behavior but, well, it IS Austin AKA Babylon On The Colorado so they pretty much ignored us.

She'd brought her overnight stuff "just in case". Yes, friends, she spent the night with me. Details? (I hear you ask.) Let me just say that there definitely WERE details. OK?

I will reveal one interesting fact; That lady has the largest clit I've ever seen. When she is aroused she almost looks like she's a boy puppy.

Now, Ash(leigh) has a big 'un and I've seen some on the net that amazed me, but Marlene's is "OMG!" I think I'm in love. I felt as though I was performing fellatio instead of you-know-wot. I am not exaggerating, not at all. Her "thing" makes my little pea-sized pearl look insignificant.

The topic of conversation was, for the most part, her excited anticipation of getting up close and personal with Barry. But, and please note; Barry is his own person. He's my friend and occasional frolic partner. He is NOT my property to be shared with others at my whim. So, if anything at all happens, sexually, between Marlene and Barry it will be by mutual consent.

If I were to bet I'd say that he will cheerfully allow her to closely inspect and ask certain questions. It might go further but it's 50-50 so far as anything really happening "on the first date." If things do go beyond the initial stages it will come about in a relaxed and spontaneous group setting....Barry, Marlene, Ash(leigh), and me...maybe in or beside the pool.

I did ask Barry not to let his Houston pals know he'd be here in SA. That might be overload. Also, one of them is rather pushy. The last time Barry let slip that he was in SA, this idiot grabbed some gear, jumped in his Beetle, and showed up uninvited. We were gracious, of course, but this can't be allowed in future. Barry was embarassed too.

Well, that's the status of the status.

Will report.

Love to all,

Yo Lee

Mysterious Oriental Lady (from Spain???)