7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children!

[Studlover (imported)]

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said

it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even

though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little

girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher

reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically

impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied,

"Then you ask him."

2. A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they

were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the

drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and

said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or

looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five

and six year olds. After explaining the commandment "to honor thy Father

and thy Mother", she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to

treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat , one little boy

(the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes

at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had

several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette

head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of

your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that

you do something

wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little

girl thought about this revelation for awhile and then said, "Momma, how

come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice

it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's

Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.' A small

voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,

she's dead."

6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to

make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the

blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the

ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow

shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The

nun made a note and posted on the apple tray:"Take only ONE. God is

watching." Moving further along the lunch line at the other end of the table

was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,

"Take all you want. God is watching the apples.