Top 9 things that piss me off

[Sara (imported)]

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where

my

watch is, buddy ... where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I

ask where the bathroom is, dipshit? I didn't think so.

2. The Pillsbury Doughboy is way too happy, considering that he doesn't have

a dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for

the damn TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change it

manually.

4. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too."

Back off, spanky. What good is a damn piece of cake if you can't eat it?

What

should I do ... eat someone else's piece of cake instead? Selfish prick.

5. When people say, "It's always the last place you look." No shit,

Sherlock.

Why the hell would you keep looking for it after you've already found it?

Do people do this? Who and where are they? Why aren't they in treatment?

6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?" No,

dicknose,

I paid $7.50 to come to a theater and stare at the ceiling up there. What

did

you come here for?

7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a

choice

there, did ya buddy?

8. When something is "New & Improved". Which is it? If it's new, then there

has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must

have been something before it.

9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were

going. You should know, asshole, you're the one that pulled me over.