Just for Andrew! A Noteworth Tale

[Studlover (imported)]

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.

[Dave (imported)]

you know, dude, most of that is so obscure people don't understand the humor.

[colin (imported)]

you know, dude, most of that is so obscure people don't understand the humor.

Dave,

You have to remember that Studlover is a Music Teacher - they talk a different language. One which I only dimly remember, but hey that joke is funny, even if you only remember some if it. Personally, my favourite was an augmented fourth!

LOL

[Studlover (imported)]

Dave,

You have to remember that Studlover is a Music Teacher - they talk a different language. One which I only dimly remember, but hey that joke is funny, even if you only remember some if it. Personally, my favourite was an augmented fourth!

LOL

Colin, speaking of the Augmented 4th, do you remember it as "Tonalis di Diablos?"

Studlover

[Dave (imported)]

a) Did you know in heaven they goive you a harp and in hell they give you an accordian?

b) How do you get a violist to play tremolo? Tell him it's a solo. (or mark the passage solo).

c) what's perfect pitch for a viola? About 25 feet with the lid up.

d) If another instrument appears on the stage with a lute, can the lute be heard?

e) How do you repair a broken Viola? With a match, of course.

I know more of these.

[Bagoas (imported)]

Yes, the augmented fourth is the "diabolus in musica" or tritone. It sounds weird, but can be used to give an eery and unsettling effect.

[Studlover (imported)]

a) Did you know in heaven they goive you a harp and in hell they give you an accordian?

b) How do you get a violist to play tremolo? Tell him it's a solo. (or mark the passage solo).

c) what's perfect pitch for a viola? About 25 feet with the lid up.

d) If another instrument appears on the stage with a lute, can the lute be heard?

e) How do you repair a broken Viola? With a match, of course.

I know more of these.

Dave, thanks for these. I have not seen these jokes in years, particularly the viola jokes. You are welcome to send them to me.

Studlover

[kb57z (imported)]

Yes, the augmented fourth is the "diabolus in musica" or tritone. It sounds weird, but can be used to give an eery and unsettling effect.

The ratio of the frequencies of the notes is square root of 2 to 1, which means that sounds dreadful (if you're a mediaeval monk, at least.)

On a modern piano, the augmented fourth is the same two keys as the diminished fifth, (which is entirely acceptable in the right context) In order to tell the difference you have to look at the notes as written down on the page.

[Dave (imported)]

how about:

What do you get when you drop a piano into a coal mine - - - A flat miner

What do you get when you drop a piano onto a military base - - - A flat major

[Studlover (imported)]

how about:

What do you get when you drop a piano into a coal mine - - - A flat miner

What do you get when you drop a piano onto a military base - - - A flat major

Dave, that's awful!!!! ugh.

Studlover