Health Questions Answered

[Studlover (imported)]

Health questions answered

The truth about your health. Enjoy.

HEALTH QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste

them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart

will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of

your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: One must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and

corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an

efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Beef is also a

good source of green leafy vegetable--grass. And a pork chop can give you

100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable and fruit products.

Need grain? Eat chicken.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that

means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the

goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. By all means, bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.

If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise

program?

A: None other than it may allow you six more months in a nursing home in

diapers. Consider some people's philosophy: No Pain. . .Good!

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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: These days, foods are fried in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated

in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should do

sit-ups only if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Chocolate is from cocoa beans--another vegetable! It's the best

feel-good food around!

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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales and seals.

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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Round is a shape!

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