The Funeral

[Studlover (imported)]

I know I can do better that this!

The Funeral

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A funeral was being held in a little church at the top of a steep hill. As the casket was being wheeled out to the hearse, a gust of wind came, snatched it out of the hands of the pall bearers and sent it rolling down the hill. Although the pall bearers chaised after it frantically, it picked up speed and went racing toward the drug store at the bottom.

Amazingly, the casket went right through the automatic doors and back to the pharmacy counter, where the lid flipped open, the corpse sat up and said, "Hey Doc, you got something to stop this coffin?"

[Dave (imported)]

that's just so bad. Awful, really!

Awful, awfu,l awful, awful...

[Slammr (imported)]

I know I can do better that this!

The Funeral

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A funeral was being held in a little church at the top of a steep hill. As the casket was being wheeled out to the hearse, a gust of wind came, snatched it out of the hands of the pall bearers and sent it rolling down the hill. Although the pall bearers chaised after it frantically, it picked up speed and went racing toward the drug store at the bottom.

Amazingly, the casket went right through the automatic doors and back to the pharmacy counter, where the lid flipped open, the corpse sat up and said, "Hey Doc, you got something to stop this coffin?"

Let me try...

At the conclusion of a funeral service at a small

church at the top of a steep hill,

the casket of the recently departed was loaded into the back of a hearse. Upon hearing the rear door open, the driver, who had fallen asleep during the long service, jumped out to close the door, catching his coat on the emergency brake release. The hearse began rolling backward down the hill, picking up speed as it careened toward a pharmacy at the bottom of the hill.

At the rear of the pharmacy a salesman was talking to the pharmacist, trying to convince him to display his product, a cough medicine. The pharmacist wasn't buying it. He didn't have enough room to display another cough medicine -- certainly not enough room to display the five cases the salesman had brought into the store.

At that moment, the rear of the hearse crashed into the front door, stopping the hearse abruptly. The coffin shot out, crashing through display after display, pulverizing the already displayed cough medicines, coming to rest against the cases the salesman had brought into the store.

"See," said the salesman, pointing to the smashed bottles of his competitor's cough medicines, "I told you this was good stuff. It's the only one that was able to stop this coffin."

[A-1 (imported)]

ahhemmm!

...now, do you have anything to stop my CHOKING?

A-1

[Dave (imported)]

I think the first version with the corpse sitting up and talking is funnier.

And the real story is that the coffin rolled out of the hearse and down a hill. It stopped when it popped open and the corpse rolled out with its bare backside up in the air ...

All the mourners were singing "swing low sweet chariot coming for to carry me home"

This I know to be a true story.,

[Andrew (imported)]

"It's not the cough that carries you off,

but the coffin they carry you off in."

[An Onymus (imported)]

Possible answer from the pharmacist:

Well, I might be able to stop the coffin. But that hearse voice I can't do anything about.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

Try using Robitussin, It'll stop any coffin! --FLO--