One Liners

[Studlover (imported)]

Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland.

Now Santa Claus is missing.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the

bread.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a

flat tire.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is

research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your

principles.

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.

You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be

misquoted then used against you.