Stuff sent to me

[talula]

Federal job interview:

A guy goes to the local Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"

"Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for three years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment," and then asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes 100% ... a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "O.K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10 a.m."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., then why do you want me to come in at 10 a.m.?"

"This is a government job" the interviewer explains. "For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls ... no point in you coming in for that."

and another:

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly: "My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner.."

2nd Hillbilly: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly: "That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin' machines!"

1st Hillbilly: "why is that so stupid?"

2nd Hillbilly: "cause we ain't got no plummin'!"

3rd Hillbilly : "that ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together!...I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar."

1st and 2nd Hillbillies: "well what's so dumb about that?"

3rd Hillbilly: "She ain't got no pecker!

[Andrew (imported)]

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang.

He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung

up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he dhouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"

"Honestly?"

The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, heck, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"