New rules in heaven.
Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:02 pm
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to
change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order
to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when
you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next
day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the
gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new
policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I
need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor
apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked.
She appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My
wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out
onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging
off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well,
I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until
he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed
in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't
die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back
inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to
throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was
the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the
balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25
stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so
great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the
guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So,the
Angel announced, "Ok, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of
Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said,
"Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day
was like when you died."
"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to
believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor
apartment doing my daily exercises. Having been under a lot
of pressure I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress.
I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and
accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to
catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine.
But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well,
of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom
which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm
laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in
excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of
all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and
lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes
his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks
to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to
the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The
angel says," Please tell me how you died." The third man
says,"Ok, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a
refrigerator...."
change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order
to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when
you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next
day. The next day at 12:01, the first person came to the
gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new
policy, promptly said to the man, "Before I let you in, I
need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor
apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked.
She appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My
wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out
onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging
off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well,
I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until
he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed
in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't
die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back
inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to
throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was
the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the
balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25
stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so
great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the
guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So,the
Angel announced, "Ok, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of
Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said,
"Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day
was like when you died."
"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to
believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor
apartment doing my daily exercises. Having been under a lot
of pressure I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress.
I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and
accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to
catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine.
But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well,
of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom
which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm
laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in
excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of
all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and
lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes
his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks
to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to
the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The
angel says," Please tell me how you died." The third man
says,"Ok, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a
refrigerator...."
A-1 
Bloody good, really made me laugh! Keep 'em coming...
