In the Beginning

[Studlover (imported)]

In The Beginning....

In The Beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth

and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower,

spinach, green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so

Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and

Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want

chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yes!" And Woman

said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."

And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might

keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan

brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from

the cane and combined them. And Woman went from

size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan

presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons

and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman

unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables

and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought

forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it

needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and

his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a

light, fluffy white cake and named it "Angel Food", and

said "it is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and

named it "Devil's Food"

God then brought forth running shoes so that His

children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave

cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to

toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman

laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained

pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat

and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the

beautiful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and

deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean meat so that Man might consume

fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan

created fast-food restaurants with

99-cent double cheeseburgers; then said, "You want fries

with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super-size

them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into

cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.......and

Satan smiled as he created HMOs ...

[Andrew (imported)]

And sometime during all this, God created CAT (and was promptly ignored).

[Riverwind (imported)]

And god created dogs, to be mans best friend and chase CATS. and the devil gave cats claws.

AND GOD............................................... .............

River