More PUNishment

[JesusA (imported)]

A few more just for Andrew....

--If you say you have bad skin, I'd say that was a pore excuse.

--Will this computer last five years? Obsoletely!

--Visitors to Cuba are usually Havana good time.

--Nylons give women a run for their money.

--There was a guy who was fired from the orange juice factory for lack of concentration.

--Some burglars are always looking for windows of opportunity.

--Artists know where to draw the line.

--He told me he could eat a 32 ounce steak, but I found that hard to swallow.

--The church janitor was also the organist, and had to watch his keys and pews.

--We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.

--Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.

--Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

--Acupuncture is a jab well done.

--An alien landed at a soft drink company and said, "Take me to your liter."

--Two nuclear technicians got married. She was radiant, and he was glowing.

--If you think you are a set of curtains, either see a psychiatrist or pull yourself together.

--A painter's joke may be off-color while a cook's might be tasteless.

--Some children think that their parents are all no-ing.

--Those who do not want to be counted have taken leave of their census.

--Are evil wildebeests bad gnus?

--When pigs play basketball they are ball-hogs.

--Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you.

--Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

--A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

--Vinyl records are really groovy.

--An auctioneer often looks forbidding.

--Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.

--For insomnia move to the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

--A scientist doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals was trying to solve a problem when he fell in and became part of the solution.

--You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

--In the winter my dog wears his coat, but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.

--A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.

--Two robbers with clubs went golfing, but they didn't play the fairway.

--When the human cannonball retired they couldn't find a replacement of the right caliber.

--When the wheel was invented, it caused a revolution.

--Those who play team sports usually have a ball.

--Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.

--If you said you were from South America, I would not Bolivia.

--Some music stores are in a CD part of town.

--A man who rode in a carpool felt sick whenever they passed under a certain tunnel. His doctor diagnosed this as carpool tunnel syndrome

[Andrew (imported)]

Thank you!