I'm really, really depressed. ugh. I'm really impatient in getting rid of my sex driv

[iamdaniel (imported)]

I'm not normally one to post such angsty, attention-seeking posts, but I know some of you guys/gals/eunuchs will be able to sympathize with me and give me comfort (I'm much more interested in comfort than pity right now). Like so many others (many of them much worse off than myself) I'm struggling to find a decent job just to keep my head above the water. I'm 3 credits away from a useless BA in Philosophy and my best bet for now is a data entry job (I'm returning to school for mathematics, so that should get me a pretty lucrative job, but it'll be a while).

I just feel like i'm never going to get rid of my sex drive. It's going to take me a lot of time and money to go through the hormone-trial period, in order to see if I'm comfortable as a eunuch, and to then raise enough money to be able to afford an operation. Will the tension and stress of sexual frustration in general be gone after my testosterone is gone? What if I'm one of those unlucky eunuchs whose sex drive refuses to die after I'm castrated? If there a Plan B and C and D? or am I stuck with a sex drive forever?

[Riverwind (imported)]

Your sex drive right now is at the highest it will ever be, late teens to late 20's, that is the good news it does not last forever. Over time it will go down naturally however for some of us even a little is to much. I sure understand that, but the only ways to slow it down or kill the drive completely is a castration drug to lower your T and if you like it, castration to make it permanent.

Remember castration is forever.

River

[maestro123 (imported)]

Dear Daniel,

I completely understand your situation. I have always hated my sex drive and blamed it for all my weaknesses and defeats. I was taking a drug called Androcur 50 mg., and was taking 2 pills a day for about a month. That's a drug usually prescript to people treating a prostate cancer and seriously decreases the level of testosterone, and hence the level of sex. drive. I tried that just to make sure if my doubt about the high sex drive and its bad influence is "guilty" for my situation. And, after the 2nd week, I felt the results of it. My sex drive was much much much lover, and I wasn't even searching on the net for sex/castration/relationships topics that much, since my brain was not occupied with the sex issue. Since than, I realized that a permanent castration is what I need. Also, I forgot to mention, that I don't want to have children or accidentally to get some girl pregnant, but that's another topic.

And, after struggling with my sex drive and all the negative effects, I decided to get a surgery and remove my testicles. I am traveling abroad to a urologist(surgeon) in 3 weeks. I am so excited about that. If you want any further information about doctors, clinics and so on, feel free to write me a message. BUT, as the previous guy wrote, keep in mind that castration is permanent, and there is no way back. I will strongly suggest you to think more before making any further steps. But, you can start with the pills, to see if the sex drive is really a problem. After you stop taking the pills, the sex drive will come back. Therefore, you can easily see the effects.

p.s. I can easily see that your issue is very similar to mine, since the reason for the desire for castration is quite similar. But, as the other guys did with me, I need to make you sure if you really want to get rid of your balls, since there is no way back.

Kind regards, Vlado

[harveywrwh (imported)]

Iamdaniel; Here are some thoughts,And the cost is not that bad, Read all the info that you can, on Depo Provera, It is a very great silent one on the testostrone, You can get it thru the inhousepharmacy, very easy, It is very good and easy to use, Around $72.95 for Three shots ready to use. After about three weeks no Hardons, and no thoughts about sex, The only effect that I had was about the fourth week, you can have low energy level, But you can work around that with a ggod diet and exercise, and about four or five weeks into it that level will start to come back. I know I just had my Fourth shot, and four months in to it, So get some good info and learn more about this. I know there is a lot of VERY good info on this site. Use it to your best, and make use of it

[Matthew 19:12 (imported)]

You could just crucify the flesh with it's affections and lusts.

Galatians 5:24 (KJV)

And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

Christian or not, you should be able to relate. Even without castration, you can put the lusts to death in the flesh. You'll suffer for it, but it works.

So basically, you doing several things. NEVER look at porn for the rest of your life. Porn will cultivate more lust. You can't put the lusts to death in the flesh if you are still looking at porn. Next, don't let your mind look at things which will LEAD to porn, such as some of these music videos etc., or something softcore. Nope, doesn't work. You gotta stop the lot.

Then, NEVER masturbate or orgasm, ever. That's painful. That lust will be burning itself out in your flesh, painful. It seems impossible to begin with. But eventually after m

suffering lust a few hours or days, it settles down. And next lust flare up, it will be even easier. You'll probably still have wet dreams to begin with, but then they they settle too.

I was addicted to sex with prostitutes, and addicted to porn. Now, I have given up porn for the rest of my life, and NEVER masturbate, ever. And Lord willing, will never again masturbate for the rest of my life. It was hard to begin with, lots of lust lust suffering. Because I had sowed to my flesh for so many years, cultivated lust, it was hard work slamming on the emergency breaks. Now it's workable. It's far easier than it used to be. I'm still going to try depo provera, just to see, and because although crucifying the lusts is working, it's very painful, and takes a long time. I still sometimes get big lust flareups that cause suffering in my flesh. But by not indulging orgasm, that mechanism is burning itself out. It's painful to endure that lust flare up, but if you can get through it without orgasm, then next time lust appears you will even stronger than before. But that's how you put the lusts to death in the flesh, and your 'affections' (which means like little OCD things, not the modern day definition of affection). So this works, but you will suffer in your flesh if you do this. You will have to endure a lot of painful lust burning you, before it starts to die.

As a Christian, I like these verses to inspire me when I am suffering lust in the flesh -

1 Peter 4:1-2(KJV)

Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;

That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.

Romans 8:13 (KJV)

For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

Romans 8:1-2 (KJV)

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

[purpletomato (imported)]

Matthew -- your use of the word "lust" is odd ... urbandictionary defines it as an attraction to another individual. "sexually aroused" / "turned on" / "horny" would seem more appropriate to me. Has the definition changed since biblical times?

back on topic, antiandrogens have worked for me. you have to be patient -- it could take months for them to start working. some mental discipline helps as well, though relying on it alone didn't work for me, and left me feeling pretty helpless. (I think stress is also related, so finding ways to reduce stress might help. also, sex drive may be related to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypothalam ... drenal_axi s but I am not familiar.)

adding estrogen may change the orgasm feeling / masturbation experience so both you don't feel compelled to do it as often, and it's more enjoyable.

best of luck.

[hungrycat (imported)]

Hi iamdaniel

For the last four months I have no job and the longest I had been out of work in the past was three weeks. Normally I don't have problems getting work but I may have to settle for a job that I don't enjoy just so I can pay the bills. I am very artistic and quite intelligent something I find hard to express to others as they don't see that in me at all. I don't believe in fate but I do believe that not all of the world is bad. Just because It's hard to see the future at the moment and your not sure whats going to happen it does not mean you wont get the job you want. I am doing a BA honers in art and design (photography) I wont get a job from it in all lightly hood, but I will use it to start my own business in the future.

What I'm trying to say is that if you keep on the path you want to be on then it will eventually work out.

[punkypink (imported)]

good things come to those who wait.

Btw am i the only one who's noticed matthew giving really bad advice based on his own "special" interpretation of the bible? Can we not have people giving genital mod advice with a religious bias please?

[janekane (imported)]

With all due respect, I have excluded from my life any and every aspect of "authoritarian religion" from my life, doing so because I find, without exception, that authoritarian indoctrination of any, and every, form results in physical, brain-scan-observable, damage to the brain of the person subjected to such indoctrination.

However, as I indicated in a post which may (or may not?) have triggered a "Thread Closed" response from the Archive Management, I find that whatever people do has a biological component, and that this is inescapably true regardless of whether or not a particular human doing is labeled "religions," "not religious," "both religious and not religious," or "neither religious nor not religious."

I do not live my life with the purpose of expecting anyone else to agree with me about anything. Expecting agreement has, throughout my whole life, always seemed to me to be of some form of abuse, because I have always found that expecting agreement is a form of prejudice which results, when effective, in forms of depersonalization and deindividuation (or, if anyone prefers, "forms of physical brain damage").

There have been a fair number of highly trained scientists who have studied the relationships among what is and is not regarded as religious or religion. A partial list: William James, Bruce H. Lipton, M. Scott Peck, Ian Barbour.

There have been many more highly trained scientists who have s tudied the relationships of human biology to human belief and the consequences of humans acting out their beliefs. A partial list: Descartes, Socrates, Abraham Low, Stanley Milgram, Rollo May (the list would have many thousand names and remain massively incomplete?).

My personal and totally subjective sense of religious doctrine and dogma is "awefully" simple. Scientifically and irrefutably demonstrate one or more "religious doctrines" or "religious dogmas" with which every person on earth agrees, and I will allow that religious dogma or religious doctrine can possibly be truthfully valid.

Demostrate, scientifically (meaning that the demonstration can be refuted by a subsequent scientific demonstration) that any action ever actually made could, after being made, have been made otherwise (by which I mean that the action being made is scientifically demonstrated, and then, it's having happened having actually been scientifically demonstrated, demonstrate that the action could have actually been different by demonstating that the demonstration of the action actually happening did not actually happen, and I will allow for the actual possibility of some action which happened having been able to have happened differently than it happened aftrer it had not happened differently.

Methinks the prior paragraph reads much like bonkers nonsense.

Or, in my most out-of-it moments, my thoughts wander into a place where I wonder whether seeking to avoid religious bias is not, in and of itself, a form of religious bias.

Good Grief?

I would genuine welcome someone scientifically demonstrating the existence of an actual event, which, having already actually happened, can be demonstrated to not have happened as it actually happened when it actually happened.

There are "the laws of intelligible thought," and five main ones are, the law of identity, the law of non-contradiction, the law of the excluded middle for dichotomies, the law of the included middle for what ever is more than dichotomous, and the law of rational inference. My lifelong sense is that nothing which actually exists can ever be, in any way whatsoever, exactly what it is not.

There is the work of Albert Ellis, and I have especially in mind his "ABC Model." ABC?

A = Activating event

B = Belief

C = Consequences

I have heard it said that the ABC Model of Ellis is a cycle, in that Consequences become Activating events.

However, I tend to allow time to exist in some, perhaps incomprehensible, form; therefore the ABC Model is really somewhat like a helix, not a circle.

So, if two people are interacting and the two people are having ABC experiences, their ABC experiences become, in my imagination, much like a double helix.

Oops? The double helix of the epigenetics of human social evolution?

Because I experience the human brain function sometimes labeled "religious" to be the way I come to notice what I have not yet learned, I find the domain of definition of religion and science to be contiguously identical because learning involves recognizing and noting what has not yet been learned so that I can set about learning it.

Please! Please! Will someone please demonstrate that my view is, in terms of observable human brain biology, wrong?

If my view cannot be scientifically demonstrated to be wrong, then I suggest that there may be formidable merit in intensely and intensively studying the field of trauma within the science of neurology.

What personal and subjective problem have I always encountered with every form of religious dogma or doctrine which I have, in my own individual life, ever encountered? Please note that, by "religious dogma or doctrine," I mean, and only mean, beliefs which are impossible to test scientifically.

The problem I, personally and individually, have found with every religious doctrine or dogma which I have ever encountered is, to put it simply, the theory espoused by the dogma or doctrine is never the theory in use which is the consequence of acting on the dogmatic or doctrinal belief.

I, personally and subjectively, have never, never ever, found any purely religious dogma or doctrine which is other than some variation on the theme, "Do what I say and not what I do."

In the most extreme form, I find dogma and doctrrine, when dogmatic or doctrinal indoctrination is intense, to take the devastating form of, "Don't do what I tell you to do, and, if you disobey me, I will make you suffer until you do as you are told."

I welcome scientifically grounded refutation.

I also tolerate all sorts of religious teaching, the better to recognize and reject it when it violates the law of identity, and, in so doing, violates my inner sense of validity.

The "ABC Model" relevance?

If I have unrealistic expectations and demand that my expectations be met, am I other than on a path of personal tragedy? How do I learn if my expectations are unrealistic? By simply observing that they are not being met?

By expecting what I do not expect, I am never disappointed.

For me (and perhaps for no one else):

If

Activating event = religious indoctrination detected

And

Belief = religious indoctrination is identically equal to brain-damaging abuse

Then

Consequence = indoctrination rejected.

The problem I have encountered when someone has made an effort to indoctinate me is simple. I find indoctrination is of my becoming invalid, and, in consequence of the activating event of indoctrination, the consequence in my life has always been absolute, categorical, unconditional rejection of anything and everything which activates my belief that a form of indoctrination is at work, with the personal consequence for my life of my making an all-out effort of evading every form of indoctrination which I have ever come to recognize.

Thus, I evade the doctrine that religion can be excluded from human brain activity.

Is the principal stumbling block of self-understanding other than the philosophical dilemma of self-reference?

Ever delve through Heinz Kohut's book, "Analysis of the Self"? Ever grasp its inner significance? I have made such effort.

Is being not-religious merely another religion?

Not so good grief?

Are my life experiences and my autism-grounded efforts to decently share them forming a taboo here?

Please advise.

[janekane (imported)]

Your sex drive right now is at the highest it will ever be, late teens to late 20's, that is the good news it does not last forever. Over time it will go down naturally however for some of us even a little is to much. I sure understand that, but the only ways to slow it down or kill the drive completely is a castration drug to lower your T and if you like it, castration to make it permanent.

Remember castration is forever.

River

At the present time, and the present development of biological research, castration is likely to be forever.

Forever is a long time, though.

Early in the work with stem cells, it was not realized that people retain stem cells throughout very nearly a person's entire life.

There is patience and there are patients, and it may be patently wise to accept patience if one is a patient receiving medical care.

For all I can speculate, if humanity does not destroy itself first through trauma-generated hatred, many people now alive may be able to get organ replacement via their own stem cells, eradicating the transplant rejection issue, and, with regard to testicles or ovaries, being able to become fertile after castration.

The future ain't happened yet, though.

Some decisions are difficult. Some are unbearably, or nearly unbearably, difficult.

There were times in my life, following my colectomy, which was done to prevent colon cancer such as my dad and brother died from, when the physical pain, with properly administrated pain medications, was such that the thought of the pain I would incur while taking my next breath was unbearable, and, to survive that pain, I partitioned taking the next breath into fraction of a second fragments, so small that the pain of a few milliseconds was survivable, and I did that as many times as it took to survive taking just one breath. I repeated that process as was necessary, and, after what felt like trillion forevers, the pain began to abate, and, eventually, the pain of the next breath became tolearable, later, the pain of the next minute, the next hour, the next day, the next..., and eventually, the pain of the rest of my life became tolerable because learned to partition the experience of pain into tolerable increments.

Sometimes, life hurts like hell?

And I am still here.

No, I put that wrong, sorry.

And I am actively here.

I have never learned how to evaluate another person's pain. So, the best I can to is to care, and to ask if I may be of some help.