Damned if you do, damned if you don't

[tr_80504 (imported)]

I have been married to a wonderful woman for 12 years and been hanging around here for almost 2 years. After we were married it quickly became apparent that our sex drives where not even close. Mine was causing me a lot of problems that where ruining my marriage. So I decided that lowering my testosterone was the answer and it did work but also became apparent that I couldn't afford the required siterone dose (200mg/day) due to my reduced income because of the economy. So I tried out a burdizzo (FAILED)

I then tried alcohol injections and that seemed to be working. and while I was injecting I was referred to a endocrinologist whom prescribed lupron depot to me. It was the best and took my testosterone level down to 24 ng/dl but she soon had second thoughts about treating me and reffered me to another endocrinologist. The end result is that I am castrated with a with a testosterone level of 21 ng/dl. While seeing the new end she examined my testicles due to my remark they seemed to be hard now, she agreed and had a ultrasound done of them and has concluded they are dead. So she has now reffered me to the chief urologist for his input. My Endo is aware of the lupron and other assorted anti androgens but I didn't tell her about the alcohol injections and don't intend to.

Now for the funny part. Let me start off by saying that I have loved the way I have felt while chemically castrated and now. The bad part is this. Now all the sudden my wife has decided she wants sex (more than once every couple of months). It is now kind of hit and miss normally miss in that I am not up to the task. Yes I did say task because I really don't have any desire for sex but that is fine, I would still do it for her. I also got my endocrinologist to prescribe me some viagra and when I went to get it I was told that will be 197 dollars and some change. I them said no thanks. I was told my insurance doesn't cover ED drugs.

So now I don't know how I am going to proceed. I love the way I feel and don't really want to change a thing, but it appears that TRT maybe the only cost effective way to proceed at least with insurance covering anything.

[bobover3 (imported)]

You must truly be a man in love to do all this for your wife. Was she aware of your medical steps as they occurred? Did she approve? If you went ahead with her knowledge and consent, what could be her motive for saying she wants sex now? I wish you well. In future, my advice is to be more selfish! Loving someone means accepting them the way they are.

[tr_80504 (imported)]

Yes I do love her and I didn't just do it for my wife. She was aware of what I was doing and was happy with the results. I also wouldn't say she is complaining but I can sense the disappointment when I cant follow thru. I am assuming that biologically things have changed for her. She turns 40 this year maybe that has something to do with it. She does accept me for the way I am it is just that my behavior was unacceptable to me and my life was unmanageable and being castrated was the best solution.

[EunuchAusTX (imported)]

I'm a eunuch with a high-sex-drive partner so I can identify with where you're coming from, and we've learned that there are lots of ways you can please your partner without an erection if you get creative. If I may, I'd like to offer a few practical suggestions:

Oral: the tongue can do miracles if you know what to do with it. I'd suggest getting yourself a book on cunnilingus and surprising her with a few new techniques. You can send someone to the moon with a little practice.

Tactile stimulation: light touch with the fingers or light implements such as a feather, etc. can be incredibly erotic.

Bdsm: this is definitely not for everyone but if you and your wife are adventurous there is a whole world of interesting ways to stimulate each other. There are some great books and web sites out there for beginners so you can learn how to do things safely.

Strap-on: If, in the end, your wife still needs penetration, you can always go down to your local adult toy store and get yourself a strap-on. This can be fun as you can vary the size of the "tool".

Moderate or occasional TRT use: There is no rule that says you must be either totally T-free or pumped up on the stuff. I keep a vial of Testosterone around for times when fatigue gets the better of me, and on those occasions when I use it our sex life always gets a bit of a boost. Occasional T use or a low dose regimen might give you just the boost you need add a little intercourse to your sex life.

Open relationship: Again this is not for everyone, but with a few simple ground rules in place sexual openness can be part of a healthy relationship. One need not necessarily be sexually exclusive to be emotionally committed. My partner is free to "play" from time to time provided he tells me what he does and with whom, practices safe sex and does not get emotionally involved. (I have the same freedom, of course, but being a eunuch have rarely felt inclined to use it.)

Those are just a few ideas and I'm sure others on this site can suggest a few other ideas as well. There is a lot more to sex than just intercourse. Hopefully you and your wife can find some creative and exciting ways to have a healthy sex life without your having to give up what you've gained with your castration.

[mrt (imported)]

I'm really pleased you posted this because I think the problem is not often solved by self castration. Female Sex drive is very much like ours and testosterone levels (Although not in the same balance) are often the reason for a variable sex drive. What I think makes much more sense is to seek help for her to dial her sex drive up. Now you simply have the original problem in reverse. Instead of thinking of ways to ruin her sex drive I suggest you restore yours and enjoy your self!

If not, you could 'phone it in' but I think she will pick up that your not really into sex with her and that will probably not be too thrilling for her.

- MrT

I have been married to a wonderful woman for 12 years and been hanging around here for almost 2 years. After we were married it quickly became apparent that our sex drives where not even close. Mine was causing me a lot of problems that where ruining my marriage. So I decided that lowering my testosterone was the answer and it did work but also became apparent that I couldn't afford the required siterone dose (200mg/day) due to my reduced income because of the economy. So I tried out a burdizzo (FAILED)

I then tried alcohol injections and that seemed to be working. and while I was injecting I was referred to a endocrinologist whom prescribed lupron depot to me. It was the best and took my testosterone level down to 24 ng/dl but she soon had second thoughts about treating me and reffered me to another endocrinologist. The end result is that I am castrated with a with a testosterone level of 21 ng/dl. While seeing the new end she examined my testicles due to my remark they seemed to be hard now, she agreed and had a ultrasound done of them and has concluded they are dead. So she has now reffered me to the chief urologist for his input. My Endo is aware of the lupron and other assorted anti androgens but I didn't tell her about the alcohol injections and don't intend to.

Now for the funny part. Let me start off by saying that I have loved the way I have felt while chemically castrated and now. The bad part is this. Now all the sudden my wife has decided she wants sex (more than once every couple of months). It is now kind of hit and miss normally miss in that I am not up to the task. Yes I did say task because I really don't have any desire for sex but that is fine, I would still do it for her. I also got my endocrinologist to prescribe me some viagra and when I went to get it I was told that will be 197 dollars and some change. I them said no thanks. I was told my insurance doesn't cover ED drugs.

So now I don't know how I am going to proceed. I love the way I feel and don't really want to change a thing, but it appears that TRT maybe the only cost effective way to proceed at least with insurance covering anything.

[Hash (imported)]

80504,

You need to get some compounded testosterone, not viagra. It's a whole lot cheaper too and your erections will return and so will your sex drive. Ask your urologist for a prescription. Most insurers cover it or Androgel.

[ramses (imported)]

Maybe you should get some patches and tell her to put one on you in the morning if she wants some tonight. Women are like cats. Ignore them and they are all over you.

[tr_80504 (imported)]

Thanks for all the responses.

We did try initially to work on getting her hormones in line to improve her sex drive and was not successful actually it made her moor miserable. So we bagged that as it seemed to make her feel worse over all. Also I will say that her sex drive could have been twenty times what it was and it still wouldn't change the fact that testosterone was making me a warped individual. So for me taking testosterone out of the picture was needed. I hope to maybe get my endocrinologist to set me up with HRT but only to the point I can function as needed to satisfy her needs. I actually love the way I am and feel now but I also want my wife to be happy too.

I am presently waiting for my appointment with the chief urologist as my endocrinologist wants me to see him before proceeding with any type of treatment.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

80504,

You need to get some compounded testosterone, not viagra. It's a whole lot cheaper too and your erections will return and so will your sex drive. Ask your urologist for a prescription. Most insurers cover it or Androgel.

As a matter of cost control a number of insurers will no longer cover any Testosterone applications other than injections, So ask before you decide which way to go. --FLO--

[kristoff]

As a matter of cost control a number of insurers will no longer cover any Testosterone applications other than injections, So ask before you decide which way to go. --FLO--

What's interesting is my insurance will not pay for injections unless I go to a clinic to get them. I cannot just get a vial and pack of syringes. Self administered cost $65 every couple months. Clinic same period 4 shots at 135 each. Of course my insurance DOES pay for androgel at about 300 per monthly box. Why is health care / insurance so expensive. There's an example.