Gentle Lessons of Life

[JesusA (imported)]

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

*************

A penny saved is obviously the result of a government oversight.

*************

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

*************

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

*************

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement for it.

*************

He who hesitates is probably doing the right thing.

*************

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'

*************

If you think there is some good in everybody, you obviously haven't met 'everybody'.

*************

If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone else in mind to blame.

*************

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so that he can tell when he's 'really' in trouble.

*************

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

*************

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

*************

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

*************

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

*************

Some people try to turn back their life's odometers. Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long, long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

*************

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra.

*************

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

*************

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

*************

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

*************

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf

(\_/)

(=°:°=)

(")_(")