It 's not whether you win or lose,

> but how you place the blame.

>

>

> You are not drunk

> if you can lie on the floor

> without holding on.

>

>

>

> We have enough youth.

> How about a fountain of "smart"?

>

>

>

>

> The original point and click interface

> was a Smith & Wesson.

>

>

> A fool and his money

> can throw one heck of a party.

>

>

> when blondes have more fun do they know it?

>

>

>

> Five days a week my body is a temple.

> The other two it's an amusement park.

>

>

> LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES

> USE BIRTH CONTROL

>

>

> money isn't everything,

> but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

>

>

> Don't Drink and Drive

> You might hit a bump and spill something.

>

>

> If at first you don't succeed

> skydiving is not for you.

>

>

> Reality is only an illusion

> that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

>

>

> Time's fun when you're having flies.

> ......Kermit the Frog

>

>

> We are born naked, wet and hungry.

> Then things get worse.

>

>

> Red meat is not bad for you

> Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

>

>

> Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers

> give the rest a bad name.

>

>

> One good thing about Alzheimer's is

> you get to meet new people every day.

>

>

>

> Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge

> to produce reproductive organs.

>

>

> Alabama state motto:

>

> At least we're not Mississippi

>

>

> ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO

> MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

>

>

>

> The latest survey shows that

> three out of four people make

> up 75% of the population

>

>

> "You know why a banana is like a politician?"

> "He comes in and first he is green,

> then he turns yellow and then he's rotten."

>

> "I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers

> so we could identify their corporate sponsors."

>

The more things you own, the more you're owned by things

In God we trust