Psychology of castration

[Kangan (imported)]

This topic has been raised before - here are my thoughts....

You are on your way to see The Doctor for your orchiectomy. You are both frightened and elated. It is finally going to happen. But you are terrified - what if something goes wrong? Perhaps you should chicken out.... Your mind is whirling, but deep inside you are determined to see this through. After all, you made the decision long ago when you first made the appointment, and then reaffirmed your intentions by mailing the deposit money and making the travel reservations.

You have met The Doctor, signed the release, and paid the rest of the fee. Now you are laying on the table. The condition of the room appalls you. Things don't look very clean or sterile. Perhaps you should get up and leave right now? But you don't - you want this to happen. You really want this operation - you want it so bad that nothing else is important, not even the thousands of dollars that you have spent.

The operation begins. The needles hurt - hurt really a lot - a lot more than you expected. There's still time to call it off - but you stay silent and frozen in place. The cutting begins.... I could have him stop now, you think. So what if I have wasted all that money? But you cannot force yourself to move or speak.

One testicle is cut free now. You are still a man - one testicle is enough. This is your last chance to call it off. However, a strange sort of Stockholm Syndrome is happening in your brain (apologies to Helsinki). You want this so bad that despite all the pain and worry, you are determined to let this happen. "Please tell me when the other one is out," you cry.

More pain and the smell of burning flesh as he cauterizes the tubes. Elated and terrified all at the same time, you gaze in fascination at the results of his labors. Both testicles are now laying in the stainless steel bowl on the instrument stand. You are an eunuch!

You want to leap off the table and hug The Doctor. "Hold still," he admonishes, "I have to sew you up now." Fianlly, you are off the table and dressed in bulky padding beneath your clothes. The urge to hug this strange man is overwhelming, but you resist. Verbally, you thank him again and again.

*** time passes - several days, perhaps a week ***

Your sutures have failed. The wound is gaping open. It hurts badly. You seek medical attention in your home town. More money spent. Your recovery is long and difficult.

You are angry - and yet - you love The Doctor who did this to you. You will always love him... until the day that you draw your last breath.

[bobbie (imported)]

Most of your feelings on going to the doctor the day of your castration is shared by all of us. Having second thoughts is normal. The experience of the needles may be just something that you noticed. Everyone does notice some things about the operation and seems to be special to them. I am sure that you are going over the operation over in your mind a lot because of your problems. I bet if everything went well, you would only have praise for the doctor and how good he was.

The Experience that you went through was by no way normal in that it turned out rather bad. There are a number of guys that ended up with an infection from castration. Even going to a doctor that preformed the operation in a hospital. Infections do happen. You can not do anything about it now. You achieved your goal. It was a bumpy road at the end. You made at least. Be happy that you did. Think about all the unlucky guys that no longer have that option.

[tugon (imported)]

Yes the trade off of fulfilling your dream by someone taking away a part of you creates mixed emotions. I both appreciate and dislike the man with the scalpel. All my fantasies involved someone very handsome and kindly. Instead I got what I got and he got what he wanted. I rarely think of him but I think how much better my life is. No it was not ideal but I could not wait any longer. He saved my life.

[randy (imported)]

I felt almost the exact same things you felt during your castration. From the needle hurting to the last moment second thoughts. As I laid there alone while Dr Kimmel was changing, I wondered if it was right what I was doing. I knew it was but some part of me tried to convince myself that it was okay to turn back at the last moment. The story of Abraham and Isaac played in my head. Where Abraham was ordered by God to sacrifice his son Isaac, in a prophetic act to what God would do to His Son thousands of years later. As Abraham raised the knife, God saw his faith and Isaac lived. I thought well I’m here in Philadelphia naked on a table. Maybe somehow through faith, in coming this far I could reap the spiritual benefits of castration without actually having to do it. Up until the last moment when Dr Kimmel actually started to operate; something in me told me to just say ok this is all bonkers and I could still run away. But once he actually hit the point of no return my breathing became heavy, like they did when I wrestled my brother in the living room for hours on end on an unsupervised summer day. Breathing heavy and fast until that one last deep breath and exhale, that lets you know “It’s over.” Everything became serene after that breathe on the operating table. I made a wise decision to actually go through with it and I am very grateful to Dr Kimmel for helping me.

[crankshaft (imported)]

ou are on your way to see The Doctor for your orchiectomy. You are both frightened and elated. It is finally going to happen. But you are terrified

wow, while kimmel was not my doctor,

my day of surgery was all elation, a relief from the pain, no hesitations or anything,

and in a few more months it will be a yr, with absolutely;) no regrets

[nullorchis (imported)]

It just seems to me that having medical castration surgery (or many other types of surgery) done in a "foreign" environment only increases the possibility of infection.

In our own environment, were we live, it seems we build up a resistance to whatever germs are present.

And with medically proper sterilization techniques, a medical surgical castration that is performed within our home environment would seem to me to be less likely to introduce infection.

I read where certain germs will cling to the hospital garmets of staff persons, and as they go about their day, in hallways, elevators, lunch room, etc. those germs can find a new temporary home.

If they dress in non-work clothes, clean themselves correctly, having surgery (with proper sterilization procedures) in one's home seems like a potentially better way to go (using a qualified surgeron, of course! ). Not cheap, not likely, just a hypothetical thought.

Were it that easy. I would have it done this evening.

[XxEunuchEmoBoyxX (imported)]

My first post:), feel lucky there was mostly no pain during the procedure.

[NicholasUK (imported)]

My balls were finally removed a few months after a planned 'accident' involving an elastrator. Surprisingly, the elastration process was not as painful as I expected - but then a combination of years of longing to have them gone and three quarters of a bottle of Jamesons helped.

The balls survived this attempted strangulation and lived on for a few more months though in a much reduced, non functioning and painful form. It was during this time that I started taking testosterone.

As to the psychology: before castration, despite the ever present desire to be ballless I occasionally wondered if I would somehow feel less male, suffer depression or a sense of loss. This thankfully has not happened - though I suspect the testosterone replacement is a major factor in this.

I can in all honesty say that NOT ONCE have I regretted my decision. I love being ballless and look back on my castration as a sort of liberation - and from a psychological viewpoint it cleared my thoughts of that maddening unfulfilled longing.

[NicholasUK (imported)]

My first post:), feel lucky there was mostly no pain during the procedure.

Hi XxEunuchEmoBoyxX and welcome to the Archive,

I see from your profile that there was SOME pain during the dry ice procedure. I'm impressed that you managed at such a tender age to sustain the determination and willpower (and, dare I say, foolhardiness) to do the deed!

In freezing your balls to effect their removal was your scrotum similarly damaged? Was that removed too? - and did not the ice damage your penis or the skin of your inner thighs? All I can say is WOW!!

[Milkman (imported)]

Randy..

There is something very moving about this post, it demonstrates your faith and sense of sacrifice

I felt almost the exact same things you felt during your castration. From the needle hurting to the last moment second thoughts. As I laid there alone while Dr Kimmel was changing, I wondered if it was right what I was doing. I knew it was but some part of me tried to convince myself that it was okay to turn back at the last moment. The story of Abraham and Isaac played in my head. Where Abraham was ordered by God to sacrifice his son Isaac, in a prophetic act to what God would do to His Son thousands of years later. As Abraham raised the knife, God saw his faith and Isaac lived. I thought well I’m here in Philadelphia naked on a table. Maybe somehow through faith, in coming this far I could reap the spiritual benefits of castration without actually having to do it. Up until the last moment when Dr Kimmel actually started to operate; something in me told me to just say ok this is all bonkers and I could still run away. But once he actually hit the point of no return my breathing became heavy, like they did when I wrestled my brother in the living room for hours on end on an unsupervised summer day. Breathing heavy and fast until that one last deep breath and exhale, that lets you know “It’s over.” Everything became serene after that breathe on the operating table. I made a wise decision to actually go through with it and I am very grateful to Dr Kimmel for helping me.