I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

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FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
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I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) »

...I get pass on having to perform a most-hated chore.

For the past two days I've been battling gastroenteritis...perched prettily, if some odorously, on the porcelain much of the time. I've had only one spate of barfing, thank God, so that's a plus.

I think I contracted it from someone who attended the same Christmas party as I, 'cause at least three other attendees are in similar shape.

Ash(leigh) is keeping me on a Gatorade regimen and I'm grateful for her attention and loving care, despite her little cries of "Ewwwwwww!" and "Peeyeeeeew!" when I make yet another dash for the WC. She thinks she's funny, y'see.

The good news (re the hated task) is that I had been drafted to drive someone around to do some last-minute Christmas shopping and NOW I don't have to.Yayyyyy!

Seems the mother of a friend and boss of mine, said friend/boss being out of town, called and said "Oh Dear! Algernon is out of town and I do SO want to make a few more purchases and I don't like to drive in traffic. WhatEVER shall I do?", to which I chirped "Take a cab?" Well, that went over like the Hindenburg and she IS the mother of one of our law partners (the aforementioned Algie. That's an alias.) sooooo.

Well, ennyweigh, Barry T. Eunuch is house-guesting and he's assumed the task. I should have mentioned to him that it takes big balls (or ovaries, depending on gender,) to drive around San Antonio during The Season. Well, too late now.

Of course, he tried to add a condition; He wanted to drive the old bat around in that Mangusta I'm car-sitting for a chum...Fuggitaboutit! He also wanted clearance to make a stop, post-shopping, at one of the local gay bars, just to show it off...the car, not his adorable little peepee...I think. All I need is for him to have a few and get frisky while driving a Mangusta. As it is, he gets the use of the Suburban and a sincere thanks.

On the "other" down side, while I'm certain I'll be functional for THE BIG DAY, I may not feel up to hunting the first three days post-Christmas Day and that worries me. You see, each year some fatwallet friends of the bosses come to SA on the 26th and for the last four years I've been guiding them on deer and quail hunts and seeing that they are fed and don't shoot each other.

They've specified that Yoli was to be the Mistress Of The Hunt each year since I subbed for the usual dude. Of course, at least one of them will decide that this is the year I'll succumb to his charms and...well...you know. And, as usual, I'll find a way out of it. Tears work well, as do feigned phone calls to "the doctor's office" to see if my test for gonorrhea came back,:D

The loss here is measured in bux, since they've always "tipped" me MOST generously, last year's haul amounting to 2K. Wow! Well, I cook, guide, treat for hangover, and keep a fresh deck on the kitchen/card table at all times, so well as making sure the cabin is stocked with all the niceties. Also, I'm always "kewl" and polite when one of them brings his "Personal Assistant" along. Further, I make certain they all "get a deer", meaning I often shoot one (and gut it,) for someone 'cause he's too drunk or hung over to be allowed near a rifle or his personal assistant is assisting him🙄

There five bedrooms in the "cabin". My room's the one with the lock on the door and I have my own shower and potty too. There's also a bunkhouse, right out of the western movies ('cept for indoor plumbing,) that sleeps eight.

Maybe I'll reconstitute in time...hope so. Besides, I have been issued a "Burn Notice" regarding the wild hogs and I DO love to shoot the naughty piggies, so long as I don't break a nail or something.

Well, back to the potty...NOW!

Love to all, and to all a good morning.

Yoli

The little sick girl in San Antonio
MacTheWolf (imported)
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Re: I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by MacTheWolf (imported) »

Have no fear Yoli

Nurse Wolfie will be on the way to Tejas as soon I get directions.

Only a few simple things that I require:

1 You greet me at the door nakie

2. Ashleigh is nakie too

3 No barfing - :p
Losethem (imported)
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Re: I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by Losethem (imported) »

Too bad I'm driving through Dallas and not San Antonio when I move. Your stories are always entertaining and it would give you a chance to see yet another modified boy... not that women are my thing, but I'm always happy to flash a willing viewer. LOL
FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
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Re: I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) »

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:41 am Have no fear Yoli

Nurse Wolfie will be on the way to Tejas as soon I get directions.

Only a few simple things that I require:

1 You greet me at the door nakie

2. Ashleigh is nakie too

3 No barfing - :p

There will be no barfing unless YOU show up nakie.😄

Yoli

The Gatorade Poster Child
A-1 (imported)
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Re: I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by A-1 (imported) »

Yoli,

1. Send somebody to a pharmacy

2. Have them get immodium

3. Have them get paragoric (Most pharmacies still sell to the public, they have to sign for it though, it is a opiate derivitive)

4. Have them buy Depends and plastic pants in your size and a large tube of A & D ointment.

5. Take the Immodium as directed for as long as you can before hunting.

6. If the diarrhea does not go away by the day you have to go hunting take the paragoric while fasting.

7. Grease your bottom down with A&D ointment to prevent a nasty rash.

8. Put on depends right before you have to leave and put the pastic pants over them under your oldest hunting clothes.

9. Keep your guests upwind from you and ride home in the back of the pickup truck.

10. When you get home go straight for the bathroom, strip in the shower before turning it on and stuff your clothes into a trash bag and tie it shut.

(You can throw the clothes and contents away or send them to somebody you hate to be laundered -- don't send them to ME!)

This procedure should make it possible for you to go on the hunting trip.

Good luck and keep us informed...

:D
moi621 (imported)
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Re: I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by moi621 (imported) »

Disregard Immodium or similar gut paralyzers.

Nature is having its' way.

Most recommended is "Pepto Bismol" which is

not only palliative but, antibiotic on the gut,

as good as tetracycline.
Arab Nights (imported)
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Re: I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by Arab Nights (imported) »

Put out flash flood warnings and let her rip. You will recovery. (The SA property insurance business may not).
FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
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Re: I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) »

Dear friends and lovers,

The siege ended the day before Xmas. All quiet on the Texas front (and rear!)

Had a good appetite Xmas day and since. Have rehydrated to Flood Stage.

Feeling great!

Thanks for all the kind thoughts and advice.

Yoli
A-1 (imported)
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Re: I HATE being sick, but on the other hand...

Post by A-1 (imported) »

FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:44 am Dear friends and lovers,

The siege ended the day before Xmas. All quiet on the Texas front (and rear!)

Had a good appetite Xmas day and since. Have rehydrated to Flood Stage.

Feeling great!

Thanks for all the kind thoughts and advice.

Yoli

Glad to hear that you are a "REGULAR" person again!
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