The Draft and Men over 60

[Eunuken (imported)]

Drafting Guys over 60

----this is so Funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier----

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 54 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch!

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put t hem. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

I can hear the Drill Sgt. In the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me .. er . One.'

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, and how to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten bastard terrorists.

The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million really ANGRY old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them!

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

Also it would cut down on Social Security payments and pensions.

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

"Old age and treachery will ALWAYS triumph over youth and skill."

Drafting Guys over 60 ....

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million really ANGRY old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them!

I so agree with this! Old guys like myself might not be able to "Fight, fuck and run a mile" like we could when we were kids.... but devious, crafty, cruel old men can trick the ENEMY into running like hell - straight into our ambushes.

As for all those "brave" (STUPID and young) assholes on the enemy's side who are ready to die and become "martyrs"... Us old guys have them beat to hell there too. Our best years ARE behind us, and if ever they needed a volunteer for a "suicide mission," all the captain needs to do is say something like: "Those men NOT volunteering for this very dangerous mission, will be given 30 days leave and sent home to their wives and families, while the rest of us have fun behind enemy lines."

[mrt (imported)]

Yeah, I like the idea that the notice to go overseas again would be "WOW!! THIS IS GREAT! A Vacation from the "F"ing wife and kids! And then if by some chance the bad guys do shoot us we can say "Thanks buddy, where were you when I married my first wife???"