Anger Management

[JesusA (imported)]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered.

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, 'You're an asshole!' and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!' It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, 
too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd in Ontario. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front.’

I asked, 'What's your name?'

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.

He said, 'Hello.

I said, 'You're an asshole!' (But I didn't hang up.

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah,'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'

I said, 'Make me,'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. in Ontario, a yellow house.
I have a black Beamer parked
in front.

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'

I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd.
in Ontario and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Ontario.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Ontario.
I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better!!
Anger management really does work.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Jesus

That was fantastic and I can tell you've been hanging out with Kristoff, Paolo and talula way too much.

:youroc k:

[twaddler (imported)]

lol... that is just fucking awesome! XD

[StefanIsMe (imported)]

Absolutely hilarious Good find, Jesus!

[Riverwind (imported)]

The more I read the funner it got, Thanks and thanks again.

River

[testicles2 (imported)]

that story really made me laugh.

you really know how to payback.

but remember.

everything is relative.

some might consider you an asshole at times too ,because of things you do you're not aware of the impact it might have on the others.

(it is possible.)

anyway.

this one was very cool

[Ernie of Maine (imported)]

Jesus that was very cunning,very,funny and very sneaky and very dangerous if thy find out who you are. __________________ ____________Ernie of Maine______________________

[kennath7 (imported)]

whats Is fun is doing a reverse look up of the phone number not only getting the address

But the e-mail and then e –mail them a photo of there house from Google earth

There lots of fun things to do to raise that assholes paranoia level to max

[Paolo]

I once had a very uppity and extremely difficult photo customer some years ago. No matter what you did for her, it was wrong and she wasn't happy. Add to it the fact that she was always one of these folks who had to comment about other customers in the store, too - never anything nice to say. On more than on occasion, the manager even asked to leave and never come back.

During one of the local Harley Davidson bike fests here, I made an extra set of prints of what basically amounted to hundreds of naked folks (some of them kinda old!) and filled her order with THAT. I won't mention what some of them were doing... Of course, the man who took THOSE pics found it hilarious when I asked him if we could do it! He even came back to hang around for the fallout. It was priceless.

She never said another word about her prints again.

[tugon (imported)]

I once had a very uppity and extremely difficult photo customer some years ago. No matter what you did for her, it was wrong and she wasn't happy. Add to it the fact that she was always one of these folks who had to comment about other customers in the store, too - never anything nice to say. On more than on occasion, the manager even asked to leave and never come back.

During one of the local Harley Davidson bike fests here, I made an extra set of prints of what basically amounted to hundreds of naked folks (some of them kinda old!) and filled her order with THAT. I won't mention what some of them were doing... Of course, the man who took THOSE pics found it hilarious when I asked him if we could do it! He even came back to hang around for the fallout. It was priceless.

She never said another word about her prints again.

Maybe those pictures changed her whole outlook on life.

Sometimes it is better to channel anger into creative ways than trying to manage it.