It's the Economy.........

[nullorchis (imported)]

So, it's not a depression?

But it's an awful recession.

Sounds like a "repression".

Whatever it is, it has caused me to transition all thoughts about my sexuality, (or lack of it) to reality.

So far, so good... barely.........but it's not looking good very soon.

With medical expenses (insurance, deductible, co-pay) exceeding $10,000 a year, and social security income at about $18,000 a year, you can see that I am on the road to ruin. Fortunately retirement savings have kept me afloat so far, but the collapse of the stock market has vaporized my savings.

Savings will be gone this year. Very soon I won't be able to pay for rent, utilities, transportation with $8,000 a year. Food alone costs about $4,000 a year.

I'm comfortable enough right now, but that will change very soon this year. Without enough money to pay for rent and utilities I will soon be forced to live in my car. But how horrid is that? After 62 years of life, a college degree, military service, a life time of honest hard work, it comes to this. All because I did not get a cushy government job. I worked in the private sector.

At last I think I might understand why it is that some people finally "throw in the towel" and jump overboard.

I'm too tired and old to try and recover from economic disaster. Nobody depends on me. Nobody needs me. I won't actively consider or engage in doing away with myself, but at this stage of the game, I don't see the point in trying to save or rescue myself. I mean when the wax and wick of a candle are gone, they are gone, it's over, end of game. You don't frantically try to add more wick or wax. When a candle's "life" is over, it's over. No biggie. And so it is. The end is near. It won't matter a hill of beans whether or not I am, or I am not.

S.

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

So, it's not a depression?

But it's an awful recession.

Sounds like a "repression".

Whatever it is, it has caused me to transition all thoughts about my sexuality, (or lack of it) to reality.

So far, so good... barely.........but it's not looking good very soon....

Well, for the people who say "This situation with the economy is not a depression..." I would suggest that they get some airplane tickets and go to Egypt, because they are already in "de Nile" and seriously dellusional. You can call it what ever you care to, no matter what you call it, these are tough times.

As for the rest of your post, it sounds pretty depressed. Odd, but it sounds quite different from your blog entry on 1 Jan 2009 when you mentioned that the TRT which you had stopped seemed to keep you distracted from productive activity. Are you sure that your current unhappieness is not in fact the typical "depression" that many go through after castration? I know, you say that you still have your testicles but they are useless, so now you might have to make the unpleasant choice between two things;

being depressed as a side effect of reduced testosteron levels, or;

being distacted and live with the TRT.

I am sorry that you did not get the "cushy government job." God I wish I could have found one of those myself, instead, like the schmuck that I am, I did a full 21 years for those "cushy military retirement benefits." What fool I was, gave my best "learning and earnign years" so I cuold become a forty-something nobody... Nobody ever wants to hire us old guys, we represent too big a health insurance liability for any employer to take us on as a new hire.

These days, I also am plagued by occaisional fits of sadness, feeling like my life is totally pointless. But HARK! There is yet one more "mission" requiring the unique skills and experience of folks like us.... I think bitter old vetrans like you and I should hang out by military recruiting offices and scare off any of the new prospective recruits.

[Kortpeel (imported)]

being distacted and live with the TRT.

These days, I also am plagued by occasional fits of sadness, feeling like my life is totally pointless.

Nullorchis, Deacon and others, please gentlemen, never despair. Life is never so bad that it can't get worse - which actually means that you have something to be happy about. Well, for the time being.

Having been in the trough of despair at a couple of points in my life and with no way that I could see of ever coming out of it, experience has taught me that if you struggle on, cope as well as you can and keep on trying you will eventually emerge into a better life. Unless of course you are so decrepit and senile that you already have one foot in the 6' deep hole that is waiting for all of us.

And I'd say that as long as you can wipe your own ass and make a coherent posting on this board, you ain't finished yet. So battle on and take whatever help and comfort you can get. Pride can be an expensive vice. Remember too that it isn't your fault. And furthermore things will definitely come right. Sooner than you think, too.

This is not a good time to quit.

Kortpeel

[A-1 (imported)]

YOU ARE WRONG!

...it IS a depression...

...every time I think about retirement I get...

SEVERLY DEPRESSED...

shakemitkshakemitk

shakemitk:shakemitk

shakemitk

:shakemitk

...HOWEVER, I am NOT going to do something stupid because after all, it's only money...

[Arab Nights (imported)]

I'm too tired and old to try and recover from economic disaster. Nobody depends on me. Nobody needs me.

S.

There was a good column in the newspaper today by Harvey Mack. It is about advice from Lou Holz, the football coash. Paraphrasing, what Holtz says is that what you need in life is an activity, a love, a hope and a belief. That seems like a pretty good list to me. Note that nothing in that is dollar- or economy-dependent. Everything on that list is something you can go out and get for yourself. If you cannot, then that disability should be addressed. There are way too many people in their sixties that do it for me to believe that it is impossible at that age unless there is something else going on. I hope you will decide to dance and seek help to overcome that which is holding you back. Good luck.

[nullorchis (imported)]

As for the rest of your post, it sounds pretty depressed. Odd, but it sounds quite different from your blog entry on 1 Jan 2009 when you mentioned that the TRT which you had stopped seemed to keep you distracted from productive activity. Are you sure that your current unhappieness is not in fact the typical "depression" that many go through after castration? I know, you say that you still have your testicles but they are useless, so now you might have to make the unpleasant choice between two things;

being depressed as a side effect of reduced testosteron levels, or;

being distacted and live with the TRT.

You were right. Once I got some money and got my prescription re-filled, I don't feel run down and gloomy. Went for 2 weeks without TRT. At first no problems but the adverse effects of being without TRT fnally snuck up on me from behind like a ton of bricks. Starting to feel better now. Will see if I can get by on a half dose a day since a full dose makes me feel almost horney in the groin but not enough to bring it to fruition. But that feeling is not as annoying as being run down and gloomy and weak. My memory and logical thought process got all out of wack too by being off TRT; first time I had a lapse in the medication and hopefully the last time.

To keep the TRT flowing I will cancel the cable TV and use antenna and free TV. I got myself one of those digital conversion boxes and should be able to find a useful TV antenna at the thrift store.

And besides, even off TRT, I was uplifted and encouraged that the country and the world will finally be rid of G. Bush. While he was busy trying to protect the country from outside terrorists, his friends and buddies were terrorizing the country from the inside out. Our economy was boarded by inside pirates and our ship is quickly taking on water. We are certainly on the way down. So again, the Democrats are handed an economy that is in the toilet and will have to spend time repairing damage instead of making headway and progress.