The Perfect Day (http://hcomi.com/Picsvidsjokes/theperfectday.htm)
PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN
8:15
Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30
Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday
8:45
Breakfast in bed, squeezed
orange juice and croissants
9:15
Soothing hot bath with
fragrant lilac bath oil
10:00
Light workout at club with
handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30
Facial , manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00
Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45
Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
1:00
Shopping with friends.
3:00
Nap.
4:00
A dozen roses delivered by florist.
Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15
Light workout at club followed
by a gentle massage.
5:30
Pick outfit for dinner.
Primp before mirror.
7:30
Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00
Hot shower. Alone.
10:30
Make love.
11:00
Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15
Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.
A PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN
6:00
Alarm.
6:15
Blowjob.
6:30
Massive dump while
reading the sports section.
7:00
Breakfast. Filet Mignon,
eggs, toast and tea.
7:30
Limo arrives.
7:45
Bloody Mary en route to airport
8:15
Private jet to Augusta Georgia.
9:30
Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45
Play front nine at Augusta ,
finish 2 under par.
11:30 Blowjob
11:45
Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on
the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15
Blowjob.
12:30
Play back nine at Augusta ,
finish 4 under par.
2:15
Limo back to airport.
Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:20
Blowjob
2:30
Private jet to Nassau , Bahamas .
Nap.
3:15
Late afternoon fishing
excursion with topless female crew.
4:15
Blowjob
4:30
Catch world record light
tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.
5:00
Jet back home. En route,
get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00
Watch Sportscenter.
7:30
Dinner Lobster appetizers,
1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.
9:00
Relax after dinner with 1789
Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00
Have sex with two
18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00
Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:46
One last blowjob
11:59
Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart.
Watch the dog leave the room.
12:00
Laugh yourself to sleep