Dog Diary Vs. Cat Diary

[Danya (imported)]

Dog Diary Vs. Cat Diary (http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/Humor/ot ... _diary.htm)

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

[artisticlicense (imported)]

I gave a copy of this to my sister. She has 2 cats. I have a dog.

She thinks my doggie is weird & retarded, 'cause she eats anything I give her, no questions.

My favorite thing!My favorite thing!My favorite thing!I think her cats need drugs. They turn noses up at most food, but still eat it grudgingly. They hide under the bed covers, even when the AC isn't on (they both have long hair too)!

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Funny!

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Believe it or not, River's cat, Rupert, wrote that

[Paolo]

River's cat, Rupert, is a scheming and conniving genius.

[chilliwilli (imported)]

Danya-

You feed a dog and he thinks "Geez this guy feeds me, keeps me safe and warm...he must be god"

You feed a cat and he thinks "Dam this fool feeds me, keeps me safe....I maust be god"

chihuahua lover

chilli-

[Danya (imported)]

Danya-

You feed a dog and he thinks "Geez this guy feeds me, keeps me safe and warm...he must be god"

You feed a cat and he thinks "Dam this fool feeds me, keeps me safe....I maust be god"

chihuahua lover

chilli-

Hi Chilli,

One of the nice things about small dogs like chihuahuas is they tend to live many years longer than larger dogs. When I have had dogs, I've been crazy about them. It was always really difficult when they died.

I myself am a dog lover and would love to have one again. Problem is some work days I am gone from home for 9 or 10 hours. I live alone. Then there's the fact that I don't have a yard. So having a dog is probably out. Unless there's a small dog like a chihuahua that could be left alone all day and not feel lonely or neglected. Maybe if I looked in a shelter for an adult dog I might find one who would do just fine.

I would like to have a pet, so I may have to settle for one of those feline critters who will judge me for a fool. Cats can be cuddly and I like hearing them purr, but you are right on about their attitude.

Take care,

Danya

[jane_says (imported)]

Until Mr. Jane handed me a hamster-sized, snuffling, puppy-breath smelling half-pound of chihuahua baby a little over a year ago, I was under the impression I didn't like little yappy dogs. We now have two, half-siblings. We still have our gigantic boxer too, but he is getting old and had a stroke a couple of months ago (he's recovering). We have a cat that we rescued from the shelter last Christmas as well. I like the cat, but I love dogs -- both mine and others'.

[chilliwilli (imported)]

Jane

My chihuahua barked once as a puppy. She was promptly put under a blanket. She has only barked maybe five times in the past three years. She is so clean and quiet, and being a little den rat...she loves nap time. We socialized her so she knows how to deal with all different kinds of situations and she is always up for something new. Chihuahuas are like little babies.

chi and chi-chi lover

chilli

[chilliwilli (imported)]

I would like to have a pet, so I may have to settle for one of those feline critters who will judge me for a fool. Cats can be cuddly and I like hearing them purr, but you are right on about their attitude.

Take care,

Danya

Danya try getting a chihuahua they are great for apartments, small spaces. You can leave them on the bed when your gone and they can also be box trained easily.

the disgruntled domestic

chilli-