Quick thinking electrical engineer

[radar (imported)]

Saw this one and couldn't resist passing it along:

My girlfriend always seemed to enjoy seeing how much she could

get away with doing some form of bondage stuff in public. She

does this partly because she finds it fun, mostly because she

knows it drives me out of my tree. Usually, I'm able to fast-

talk my way out of potentially embarrassing situations with

Mundanes, but yesterday she very nearly got me fired.

Yesterday afternoon we had lunch together. Afterward, she

accompanied me back to work. I thought this slightly unusual,

since she had never before expressed in interest in my work

(electronic engineering), but it didn't occur to me that she

had something planned.

We arrived at my workbench, where I am currently trying to figure

why the $&#%@^$ board on which I am working is not performing

the way it is designed. "Is this where you work?" she asked.

"At the moment," I replied.

I reached over to turn on the scope, thereby completely

failing to notice the huge black studded collar she had

produced from her purse. Before I could blink (it's amazing

the speed at which she can do this), she had locked the collar

snugly around my neck, and locked the end of the 6 foot jack

chain to the center of the bench ( where there just happened

to be a mounting hole, dammit). I turned to her in utter

disbelief, mouth agape.

"I'll be back for you at five," she said.

"HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY WACKO!??!?!" I yelled in a hushed

voice. "How the hell am I going to explain this!?!?!"

"You'll think of something," she said, dropping the keys into

her cleavage, "you always do."

"But suppose I have to go to the bathroom," I countered.

"Don't give me that", she hissed, "I've seen you go a whole

day without visiting the bathroom."

"But...." I tried to say.

"SHHH! The subject is closed. I'll be back at five. Bye"

She turned around and left, against my hushed protests. I sat

in panic and tried to think out my situation. I tried to think

of who might visit. Most of my co-workers were friends who

knew that my girlfriend and I were a bit odd, so this

shouldn't surprise them. But I had *no* idea what I was going

to do if one of my bosses came in. I checked my watch to see

how long I would have to endure this ignominy. 13:30 (I'm a

military time weenie). "Three and a half hours," I thought. I

heaved a heavy sigh, and got to work, such as I could.

As it happened, three of my co-workers visited for what-not.

All of them immediately noticed the collar (it would be hard

not to) and asked if it was my girlfriend's idea. I said yes.

They asked what I would do if my supervisor saw it. I told

them I hadn't the faintest idea.

One of the aforementioned colleagues took the bench next to

me, and after a few remarks (and a question as to where he

could get such a collar), settled down to work in silence.

After some time, I checked my watch. 16:40. "Gee, I just might

make it through this after all," I thought. I was even

beginning to get a handle on the problem with the $#%&&$#

board on which I was working. Murphy must have been standing

right behind me, reading my thoughts, for not two minutes

later one of my bosses entered the room. And not just any

boss. Noooooooo. This was Mr. Narrowminded himself. This was

the guy who took Lifespring *and* became a born-again funda-

mentalist. How he came to have the power of hire-and-fire over

us is one of the Great Mysteries of The Universe. We avoided

this guy at all costs.

His eyes fell upon me immediately. A few picoseconds later, he

saw the collar around my neck in all it's splendor. "My life

is over," I thought. I still hadn't thought of a plausible

explanation for this. Mr. Solderbrain (the name we called him

behind his back; a corruption of his real name) started to

walk slowly and deliberately over to me, his eyes fixed on the

collar. Fifteen agonizing seconds later, he was standing next

to me. I thought the guy sitting next to me was going to have

seizures stifling all his giggles. I continued to work, acting

as though there were nothing the least bit unusual about my

predicament.

Finally, he spoke.

"What. the. HELL! is. THAT!?!?!"

I don't know how I thought of what I said. In fact, I'm pretty

sure I didn't know what I was going to say until I was saying

it. I'm even more amazed that Solderbrain actually bought it

and didn't fire me on the spot.

I turned to face him calmly, with total nonchalance, exuding

complete confidence in what I was about to say, even though I

didn't know what it was yet. I didn't even miss a beat.

"Grounding strap," I said, and returned to work.

The guy next to me fell off his chair and nearly died

laughing.

[Kortpeel (imported)]

"Grounding strap," I said, and returned to work.

The guy next to me fell off his chair and nearly died

laughing.

Beautiful story - and not a bad idea in any case.

But apart from that you don't just casually fire people who can make printed circuit boards work. That skill is too rare and precious to let go easily.

Kortpeel

[fhunter]

Saw this one and couldn't resist passing it along:

-------8<---------8<--------

"Grounding strap," I said, and returned to work.

The guy next to me fell off his chair and nearly died

laughing.

I liked it... Thank you. .

[IbPervert (imported)]

A number of years ago I was in a small mom and pop type record shop visiting a friend who worked there, and this high school aged boy came in wearing a one ince spiked leather collar with pad lock. I just could not help but ask about the collar, and his reply was, "my girlfriend says it shows that I love her!" Me and my friend were both getting a laugh out of this. I then asked the boy, "Who has the key?" He replied that his girlfriend did. I thine told him the collar and pad lock actually means you are her property. He tried to tell me I was wrong and I did not understand, but I finally told him to snap out of it then he got the point. The girlfriend had him wearing it for days on end...i have always wondered what happened after that?

[Kangan (imported)]

Saw this one and couldn't resist passing it along:

My girlfriend always seemed to enjoy seeing how much she could

get away with doing some form of bondage stuff in public. She

does this partly because she finds it fun, mostly because she

knows it drives me out of my tree. Usually, I'm able to fast-

talk my way out of potentially embarrassing situations with

Mundanes, but yesterday she very nearly got me fired.

Yesterday afternoon we had lunch together. Afterward, she

accompanied me back to work. I thought this slightly unusual,

since she had never before expressed in interest in my work

(electronic engineering), but it didn't occur to me that she

had something planned.

We arrived at my workbench, where I am currently trying to figure

why the $&#%@^$ board on which I am working is not performing

the way it is designed. "Is this where you work?" she asked.

"At the moment," I replied.

I reached over to turn on the scope, thereby completely

failing to notice the huge black studded collar she had

produced from her purse. Before I could blink (it's amazing

the speed at which she can do this), she had locked the collar

snugly around my neck, and locked the end of the 6 foot jack

chain to the center of the bench ( where there just happened

to be a mounting hole, dammit). I turned to her in utter

disbelief, mouth agape.

"I'll be back for you at five," she said.

"HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY WACKO!??!?!" I yelled in a hushed

voice. "How the hell am I going to explain this!?!?!"

"You'll think of something," she said, dropping the keys into

her cleavage, "you always do."

"But suppose I have to go to the bathroom," I countered.

"Don't give me that", she hissed, "I've seen you go a whole

day without visiting the bathroom."

"But...." I tried to say.

"SHHH! The subject is closed. I'll be back at five. Bye"

She turned around and left, against my hushed protests. I sat

in panic and tried to think out my situation. I tried to think

of who might visit. Most of my co-workers were friends who

knew that my girlfriend and I were a bit odd, so this

shouldn't surprise them. But I had *no* idea what I was going

to do if one of my bosses came in. I checked my watch to see

how long I would have to endure this ignominy. 13:30 (I'm a

military time weenie). "Three and a half hours," I thought. I

heaved a heavy sigh, and got to work, such as I could.

As it happened, three of my co-workers visited for what-not.

All of them immediately noticed the collar (it would be hard

not to) and asked if it was my girlfriend's idea. I said yes.

They asked what I would do if my supervisor saw it. I told

them I hadn't the faintest idea.

One of the aforementioned colleagues took the bench next to

me, and after a few remarks (and a question as to where he

could get such a collar), settled down to work in silence.

After some time, I checked my watch. 16:40. "Gee, I just might

make it through this after all," I thought. I was even

beginning to get a handle on the problem with the $#%&&$#

board on which I was working. Murphy must have been standing

right behind me, reading my thoughts, for not two minutes

later one of my bosses entered the room. And not just any

boss. Noooooooo. This was Mr. Narrowminded himself. This was

the guy who took Lifespring *and* became a born-again funda-

mentalist. How he came to have the power of hire-and-fire over

us is one of the Great Mysteries of The Universe. We avoided

this guy at all costs.

His eyes fell upon me immediately. A few picoseconds later, he

saw the collar around my neck in all it's splendor. "My life

is over," I thought. I still hadn't thought of a plausible

explanation for this. Mr. Solderbrain (the name we called him

behind his back; a corruption of his real name) started to

walk slowly and deliberately over to me, his eyes fixed on the

collar. Fifteen agonizing seconds later, he was standing next

to me. I thought the guy sitting next to me was going to have

seizures stifling all his giggles. I continued to work, acting

as though there were nothing the least bit unusual about my

predicament.

Finally, he spoke.

"What. the. HELL! is. THAT!?!?!"

I don't know how I thought of what I said. In fact, I'm pretty

sure I didn't know what I was going to say until I was saying

it. I'm even more amazed that Solderbrain actually bought it

and didn't fire me on the spot.

I turned to face him calmly, with total nonchalance, exuding

complete confidence in what I was about to say, even though I

didn't know what it was yet. I didn't even miss a beat.

"Grounding strap," I said, and returned to work.

The guy next to me fell off his chair and nearly died

laughing.

ROFL I use a wrist grounding strap myself!

As I read the story, my thoughts for an explanation were more along the lines of "I'm protesting the long working hours here." But that response would have probably go you fired for sure!