Women Drivers

[JesusA (imported)]

This morning on my commute to work,

I looked over to my

left and there was a

WOMAN

in a brand new

Cadillac

doing 65 mph

with her

face up next to her

rear view mirror

putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

for a couple seconds

and when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane,

still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much;

I dropped my

electric shaver,

which knocked

the donut

out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying

to straighten out the car

using my knees against

the steering wheel,

it knocked my

cell phone

away from my ear

which fell

into the coffee

between my legs,

splashed and burned

Big Jim and the Twins,

ruined the damn phone,

soaked my pants,

and disconnected an

important call.

Damn women drivers!

[Ernie of Maine (imported)]

;)I used to drive in to Boston Ma when was working and I saw a lot of this.However it was spring and early summer that it was worst the ones who would take the train or the bus in the winter. Then about September it was the college kids:-\______Ernie of Maine

[Charis (imported)]

All so very true. Here's one about older women drivers:

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?

"Ma'am," the officer replies, you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit?"

"No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour! "The old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time, "the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

[Riverwind (imported)]

All so very true. Here's one about older women drivers:

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?

"Ma'am," the officer replies, you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit?"

"No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour! "The old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time, "the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

Many jokes are in fact based on real happenings, this one reminds me of my grandmother being stopped on 101, We finally asked the state to please not renew her license, after 2 years they did.

River