Bush and the Bible

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Dear President Shrub:

I understand why you would propose and support a Constitutional amemdment banning same sex marriage based on Leviticus 18:22 but I have a few other questions.

Leviticus says I may own slaves, both male and female, providing they are purchased from neighboring nations. Does that mean I can possess a few female slaves from Canada?

When I burn a sheep on the altar, my neighbprs complain about the odor. Should I smite them?

I have neighbors who work on the Sabbath. MIGHT I SMITE THEM TOO?

Just curious..

[ramses (imported)]

How about a constitutional amendment saying that if you display the 10 ommandments, you can't omit any part of it. Especially the penalty part for each one...DEATH! Real good values they are, those ten commandments!

[devi (imported)]

And it is the Samaritans who have all of the ten commandments in their Bible. But the tribe of Judah (the Jews) had had left the tenth one out. And then the Christians adopted the Jewish Bible which however had only the nine commandments that we are familiar with today leaving theologians all over and throughout the centuries completely perplexed as to how to enumerate each of the different commandments. Hence in this day and age most Catholics and some Protestants number them one way but then most Protestants and others number the commandments another way. Basically the missing "tenth" commandment calls on the people of God to build and maintain a special altar upon a hilltop near present day Nablus and is included in the lectures of Moses in Deuteronomy 20. The question is this: Should we go ahead and re-include that commandment or should we just let it set at technically having only nine commandments? (Remember that "I am the Lord thy God" which is generally held to be the first commandment is not technically speaking a commandment at all since it is not calling on you to do anything but only the preface for the commandments. However there was one Jewish rabbi apparently of some Samarian descent who lived a couple thousand years that told of two "new" commandments calling on everyone to love their neighbor and to love their God. Pretty simple actually.

[devi (imported)]

Oops. Deuteronomy five and not twenty has Moses' rendition. I do believe.

[socky1965 (imported)]

If the laws of the land decide that gays shouldn't marry, I can live with that - though I don't agree. However, if they go that route, then they need to take it a step further. Think there are some remarks in the bible about divorces and remarriage. Granted, some people aren't meant to be together. But that doesn't mean they should be allowed to marry again.

[fredericlei (imported)]

Back in 2003, Dr. Laura Schlessinger [a talk-back radio host, I believe] said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet at the time:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess

slaves, both male and female, provid

ed they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

Jim

[BossTamsin (imported)]

I have only one piece of advice. Some of the best laws on how to live your life have come from a burning bush. This means there's a perfect solution to things.

I'll bring the matches, you bring the gasoline, and I'll meet you in DC. We'll see if God can do it again and speak through a burning Bush.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

I have only one piece of advice. Some of the best laws on how to live your life have come from a burning bush. This means there's a perfect solution to things.

I'll bring the matches, you bring the gasoline, and I'll meet you in DC. We'll see if God can do it again and speak through a burning Bush.

Wow. Who knew the Archivist of the EA had a sense of humor - heh heh

Can't we burn Cheney too. I mean as long as he's there, why not?

[augman7518 (imported)]

We all know the Bush is pro life in his own way,therefore he will read into the bible as he sees fit.He said the fighting was over 5 years ago and in his mind it probably is.He does not quote the bible as I do not think he is smart enough to have a discussion on it.Putting Bush and the bible(and I think it is the big lie)in the same sentance is not accepteble. thank you

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Bush is demented. I know, we share disimilar ailment. I'm perverted around cute women.