Butt Dust

[JesusA (imported)]

Dedicated to Daughter and her new beau....

What, you may ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it!

These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. " Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon that I think this Mom will never forget.... This particular Sunday sermon.... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust...." He would have continued but at that moment one little girl who was listening leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

[kristoff]

Several of us were visiting at my folks place up north. We were all having coffee and eating cookies. They were very crisp and crumbly cookies. Mom, who is fairly well endowed, rained crumbs all over herself. She started on about cleaning them up and not wanting them all over the table and floor. I got out the "Dust Buster" (brand) hand held vacuum, and proceeded to vacuum her crumbs. Since that time, that vacuum has always been referred to as the Bust Duster.

[tugon (imported)]

Anyone who wants to enjoy that end of me is likely to find some butt dust but at least no cob webs.

[Daughter (imported)]

Kids are so darn cute sometimes! I love it. My best friend took something away from her 3yr old, who then proceeded to demand she give it back. When my friend refused, the 3yr old shook her fist and yelled "You will regret this night!" and stormed off to her bedroom.

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

Kids are so darn cute sometimes! I love it. My best friend took something away from her 3yr old, who then proceeded to demand she give it back. When my friend refused, the 3yr old shook her fist and yelled "You will regret this night!" and stormed off to her bedroom.

Then there was the little one who yelled at her mom, in a crowded store, "I'm gonna tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's peepee!"

Yoli

And I WILL tell unless...

[Arab Nights (imported)]

People in ine culture where I worked have an amusing habit. As they roll or fold something up, they" say, "yes, Yes, YES, YES!" I could not resist bringing that home and making a running joke with R. You don't think you do it around the kids, but sure as anything, I heard our daughter saying it. Then I had the vision of her doing that at school and the teacher asking where she had heard that. The answer, of course, "Dad."

[IbPervert (imported)]

My father use to work for a man who's young daughter could never pronounce her "T's" correctly, but the problem was she used the "F" sound instead. The result was she allways said, "Look daddy there goes a fruck."

[Daughter (imported)]

I was out shopping with my friend and her 3yr old today -- Friend was in a fitting room trying on some clothes and commented that the bottoms of her jeans were wet. ((It's been raining most of today..)) And my favorite little monster rings out really loud "Did you pee in them?!?!"