Interfacing with the General Public

[Beau Geste (imported)]

If I remember correctly, someone who either is a member of the Archive, or who once belonged to it, gives out business cards on which it is stated that he is a eunuch. I have to think that must be the only business card of that type in the country. Most people would be somewhat nonplussed if they found out that someone had had an orchiectomy.

However, I would guess that anyone who has had that surgery, or who has low testosterone for some other reason, must eventually be known to some of the people around him as a eunuch, or at least as someone who lacks the level of male hormones which a typical uncastrated person has. So, what is the way in which people come to be recognized by individuals around them, as a eunuch or as a eunuchoid person? In a sense, a eunuch must at times "come out" to people as someone without testes, in a way similar to the way that a gay person comes out as someone with a sex orientation that differs from that of most persons of his or her sex.

Someone who wore one of the t-shirts which were proposed in one thread, would certainly, sooner or later, get questions about what is on the shirt, and would perhaps make it known to the questioner that he was a eunuch. I wonder what the reactions would be like. Maybe a long, searching look, to see if the person's characteristics showed any properties that might be related to castration.

For that matter, I would suppose that some individuals have been introduced as eunuchs at Archive meetings of members. But has any member of the Archive ever been introduced as a eunuch to some unsuspecting person in the general population? And how do people deal with the revelation that someone they had thought of as a man, is actually a castrate?

Of course, the interaction between individuals who have had orchiectomies, and members of the general population, shouldn't really have any element of awkwardness or shock. In earlier periods of history, where eunuchs had distinct roles in society, the introduction of someone as a eunuch, or the assumption that he must be a eunuch, because of his social role, must have routine and unremarkable. And perhaps it will come to be that way again.

I haven't accessed the Archive much, or made any posts, for a few weeks, as I have had a lot to do over the last month or so, and will have continuing responsibilities during the coming months. I will probably check the Archive from time to time even though I might not make many contributions to it.

[gandalf (imported)]

I didn't make any secret of my orchiectomy. To be truthful, I told my children (a son and a daughter and each one's spouses, My son-in-law's parents, my siblings (np parents alive) and my in-laws. All told in them was about 25 people. My pastor was there for the events, and at least 10 people at church know about it. I didn't try to keep it a secret from anyone. that mattered.. No need for a shirt. If anyone asks me if it is true, I just thell them "yes". No problems with anyone.

[gandalf (imported)]

My wife's cousin's husband is the only one who said he could never do that. I asked what about if he was told he had TC. He still said he wouldn't let it be done but I am sure that if he was told it was that or die, he would probably change his mind.

[mrt (imported)]

My wife's cousin's husband is the only one who said he could never do that. I asked what about if he was told he had TC. He still said he wouldn't let it be done but I am sure that if he was told it was that or die, he would probably change his mind.

Sadly I know first hand two people who felt as your cousin's husband did and both died from Prostate cancer quite young.

Male EGO and their nuts are tightly tied. I admit having some of this issue and for me having "manly" implants put it made it easier to scoot my ass over to the operating table.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

My daughter and my son know I'm a eunuch.....along with most of my family, some more distant relatives, the neighbors and almost anyone who saw the front page of the local newspaper a few months ago. I guess my castration is sort of public knowlege. Almost all who actually know me have been accepting of my status. There have been a few soreheads, mostly among my wife's siblings, which is no sweat off my empty nutsack. I have a niece who at first was upset about the situation, but has since come around. Thanks to my son's acceptance of my new status I am now widely known around the state prison system as "No-Nad Dad" - all in good humor. And I did wear a shirt at a n Archive Meeting of Members with "Thank God I'm Castrated" on it. --FLO--

[Arab Nights (imported)]

There was a scene in Crocodile Dundee where he and the female love interest are talking. She mentions her shrink and asked what they do in Australia. Croc says, "I tell the bartender, he tells everyone and it becomes a non-problem." Or something like that. It was years ago, but the observation still works.

[plix (imported)]

The only people who know I am a eunuch are the people here, my partner, my doctor, my therapist, and most members of my family. No one else really needs to know, I feel. I don't know how my doctor and therapist personally feel about it (obviously on a professional level they cannot be judgemental), but most of my family members did not take it well and do not approve.

I wear a shirt that says "It's all fun and games until someone loses a nut." I have never had any questions about the shirt, and AFAIK, no one has ever suspected I am a eunuch based on the shirt. If anyone has, I would be quite surprised. It is simply one of those shirts with a pointless saying.

I have no issues with admitting my status if I were openly asked by just about anyone. But I see no need to advertise it, although just mostly for fun I have had thoughts of going up to random people and telling them just to see what their reaction would be.

If I did tell someone, I would make it clear that I lack testicles and not simply "I am castrated" or even "I am a eunuch." This is because I believe that most members of the general public associate those terms with lack of the penis rather than testicles.

Aside from not understanding the true meaning of "castrated" or "eunuch", I also suspect that most people do not understand the true functions of the testicles, or at least all of them. Most people seem to know they produce sperm, but fewer seem to understand they are what produces T. Although most have heard of T and know it is the "male hormone", I suspect most only link it to sex drive and aggression. My mother, who was once a nurse, did not understand that T is what is responsible for physical male characteristics like body hair and musculature. She only knew it was responsible for sex drive and ability.

So most people who hear that someone has lost his testicles will probably understand that he has lost his fertility, but many may not understand that he has lost his ability to produce T.

We musn't forget that it is only the minority of eunuchs who are that way by choice. For most it is for medical reasons, and the eunuch state is generally considered a shameful medical condition by these people. If they tell anyone about it, they will be sure to state the medical reasons for it and the fact that they are on T (unless it is prostate cancer).

We do, I believe, want to be careful about suggesting that one is not a man because he lacks testicles. This belief is the very reason that involuntary eunuchs find the state to be shameful. I lack both testicles, and yet I continue to identify as a man. Even if we were going to suggest that the presence of a particular body part is necessary to be a man, I would give that requirement to the penis before I gave it to the testicles.

[JesusA (imported)]

Even if we were going to suggest that the presence of a particular body part is necessary to be a man, I would give that requirement to the penis before I gave it to the testicles.

I would say that the only critical body part is the one between the ears! The plumbing system is far less important.

Back to BG's original question, I have a business card sitting here in my desk drawer from "Andrew," who was one of the most prolific members of the EA for quite some time. It lists his name as Eu. Firstname Lastname, with all of the other appropriate title and contact information.

As far as I know he still uses a similar card. I will ask him the next time that I speak to him on the phone or take him to dinner. (He left the Archive because he got tired of answering the same questions time after time. He currently spends his free time in other counseling situations.)

A couple of other Archive members have mentioned that they use the Eu. prefix on their business cards, though I do not have copies to verify it....

[kristoff]

I would say that the only critical body part is the one between the ears! The plumbing system is far less important.

Back to BG's original question, I have a business card sitting here in my desk drawer from "Andrew," who was one of the most prolific members of the EA for quite some time. It lists his name as Eu. Firstname Lastname, with all of the other appropriate title and contact information.

As far as I know he still uses a similar card. I will ask him the next time that I speak to him on the phone or take him to dinner. (He left the Archive because he got tired of answering the same questions time after time. He currently spends his free time in other counseling situations.)

A couple of other Archive members have mentioned that they use the Eu. prefix on their business cards, though I do not have copies to verify it....

I use Sr. on some of my cards. The difficulty that raises is that most folks think it means Senior rather than Sister.... Go figure.

Relative to the original post, I am quite out as a eunuch. All of my family, friends (close and casual), and even some neighbors, know I am one of the "Nutless Wonders" that the porcine princess refers to so "affectionately." Most folks couldn't give a rap one way or the other. In short order, most simply forget it. If something comes up in conversation, more often it will be me who points out a certain lack. Occasionally someone will get red faced, more often we have a good laugh. No one thinks less of me, at least as far as I know, and if they did, I really wouldnt care about it too very much.

I suspect that the biggest concern here need not be how others perceive us as eunuch, but how we perceive ourselves. In many respects, I don't care what another thinks of me - it isn't my business. What IS my business is what I think of myself. Therein lies the cache of cares and concerns for many of us, certainly for me. While I find it relatively easy to come out as a eunuch, I find it very difficult to deal with it an a more intimate basis, especially when I am interested in someone. THAT is the area of biggest struggle for me and I suspect for many others here.

[jeff_macadams (imported)]

Being both gay and a eunuch I have never felt the need to tell people about either (unless it comes up in conversation like this). I have never been the "out and proud" queer type (even before the castration) and don't feel the need to be "out" as a eunuch either. That said, I am not ashamed of being either gay or a eunuch. I will not deny it and if someone asks "are you gay?" or "are you a eunuch?" I'll reply YES (with pride)! What I find is that most people create their own image of who I am (even though I am a liiiiitttlllleee flaming sometimes) and don't bother to ask as they really don't want to know. They'd rather live with their fantasy about who I am. For instance, I have one good friend who would NEVER accept me as either a eunuch or gay and although he certainly cannot miss the way I act HE PREFERS to think of me as a straight guy. So unless it interferes with something I need to express or get accomplished I usually just leave people/the public with their own impressions and assumptions knowing that if they ever do learn the truth it wasn't me but rather their own assumptions that disappointed them (I did not lie to them).