Just need to talk it out

[mrt (imported)]

Sorry, didn't mean it that way.

My problem is that while I have some of the symptoms of hyper-androgen, I didn't actually have overly high levels, at least last I checked. So I don't really know what is going on with me, but somehow doubt it is purely psychosomatic.

Anyhow, as people keep telling me, I have to get to an MD for testing. I think I will go back to Raul first and tell him what's been happening to me these past few years (I was never to get as deep with him about sexual frustrations as with Sandy, probably because Sandy was female, but now that I've dumped it out once, I think it will be easier to say it out loud). I don't know how to go about finding a doctor who takes uninsured patients, but Raul will be able to give me a referral, so that seems like the best strategy.

I understand the issue with talking about "personal" stuff like sex, hormones etc with a doctor. I also (REALLY) get the idea that talking to a female MD about this is easier. I don't think there are that many that don't take "cash" for a visit. I would maybe call a few clinics nearby and ask to talk to the "triage" nurse. Explain over the phone your problem and ask if they have a female GP on staff that would be good to talk to. This solves the issue of going to a clinic and wasting a lot of time with the wrong Doc...

DO get it done. I'm a little scared that you have high levels caused by some issue that is not good.

[XtheUndead (imported)]

October 29, 2007

Cancer (6/22-7/22)

Try to be as expressive as you can today -- unleash your inner emotions and let the whole world know what you're feeling! Wearing your heart on your sleeve can make for a charming fashion accessory, especially when you want a certain someone to get to know the real you. Step out of your 'official' mode and get down to real feelings and honest interaction. Timid conversations will leave you yawning ... you need debate, vulnerability, and revelations today!

Hmmm... haven't I been chatty enough?

Decided to go straight to an internist (one I saw before, many years ago, and my Dad has seen since, for prostate problems and the like), since I would have to tell it all twice if I went back to the shrink first. But, "we're sorry, the office is closed until 1:30..." Don't they know the telephone weighs two tons and it takes me hours or days of agonizing before I can pick it up?

[XtheUndead (imported)]

Update: took a couple weeks to find a doctor who sees the uninsured at all, and is taking new patients, but I do have an appointment for a general physical. I'm afraid they're not really going to find anything about what was wrong with me: I am back to "normal" (until whenever the next time is), do it once or twice a day, no pains of late, even the pimples all clearing up.

[mrt (imported)]

Update: took a couple weeks to find a doctor who sees the uninsured at all, and is taking new patients, but I do have an appointment for a general physical. I'm afraid they're not really going to find anything about what was wrong with me: I am back to "normal" (until whenever the next time is), do it once or twice a day, no pains of late, even the pimples all clearing up.

I went in hoping the doctor would "guess" what was wrong with me. Even if your not currently having symptoms be smart and spell all your issues out. I would suggest you write down your problems and questions and print a copy and simply ask the doctor to go over them with you. It works great for us. The doctor will often make notes on the paper.

Should I use Vitamin D? YES 800 UNITS A DAY *Or whatever...

My Testes hurt like crazy then feel ok at times but mostly ache and keep me awake. *NEED TO DO THESE TESTS AND OR SEND YOU TO A URO.

You get the idea... This ways its not a guessing game...

If your answer to why are you here today is "I want a check up" thats ALL your going to get. Blood pressure, Heart, lungs a PSA, blood work and a DRE along with a Thyroid (maybe) and look over at your eyes, ears and so forth. If you don't tell her/him specific issues? Forget it.

Do NOT be afraid to open up to your GP. They really HAVE heard it all. And they are sworn to not tell others about your case. Not your wife, nor other doctors etc. Good luck!

[considering (imported)]

No competent medical person is going to tell you to "live with it or cut them off". That you can discuss it here suggests that you could find a "real" person with whom a discussion could be continued. I might suggest that you must be honest with anyone who is acting as your therapist or physician. In the past three years I have worked extensively with a Psychiatrist, my Physician and an Urologist preparing for nullo. Whatever eventually happens, and to me it's an all or nothing proposition, I and they will feel that no decisions were rashly made and that as many exigencies as could be found were considered. Rarely is it possible for anyone to make this sort of life-changing journey alone.

If it's been twelve years since you had a blood panel, it has been far too long. For that, how long has it been since you've had a total physical, top to bottom with all the invasive tests that might be necessary? This may help and, at all events, at forty you need a medical base line for the future.

[mrt (imported)]

No competent medical person is going to tell you to "live with it or cut them off". That you can discuss it here suggests that you could find a "real" person with whom a discussion could be continued. I might suggest that you must be honest with anyone who is acting as your therapist or physician. In the past three years I have worked extensively with a Psychiatrist, my Physician and an Urologist preparing for nullo. Whatever eventually happens, and to me it's an all or nothing proposition, I and they will feel that no decisions were rashly made and that as many exigencies as could be found were considered. Rarely is it possible for anyone to make this sort of life-changing journey alone.

If it's been twelve years since you had a blood panel, it has been far too long. For that, how long has it been since you've had a total physical, top to bottom with all the invasive tests that might be necessary? This may help and, at all events, at forty you need a medical base line for the future.

YES! 12 years is really a bad idea. At this age you should make a yearly trip for a complete physical. And doctors vary but most would prefer not doing anything rather then do things that you might regret. If your not ready for whatever you think you want they won't be the ones to press you (In general)

[XtheUndead (imported)]

I'm just very afraid of doctors. OK, so which outcome (listed in what I think is the order from least to most likely) should I be most scared of?

1. I have a tumor like mrt suggests, and can look forward to financially and physically ruinous sessions with chemo/radiation/surgery, at the end of which I have a good choice of dying anyhow.

2. I have a serious hormonal imbalance like mismatched had, and will have to make some hard (or not-so-hard!) decisions about how "male" I want to continue to be.

3. The tests show absolutely nothing abnormal, because there is nothing nothing nothing wrong with me-- physically at least; I'm just going crazy, and will soon be like some of the odder people who hang around the fringes of this board.

4. The tests show nothing particularly out of the ordinary, except for a few things that are a little peculiar, and the doctors can't do a thing for me, except poke and prod some more at the curious specimen I am.

[XtheUndead (imported)]

Update: went in the day after Thanksgiving for the general poke-and-prod (just after reading mismatched's account of being tortured by doctors, but mine went OK), and Wednesday for the needle-sticks (unfortunately the blood was drawn when I was at the bottom of whatever cycle it is I go through; a test at the top end might be more revealing). The doctor thinks my inguinal hernia is the main problem, may be giving me fluid leakages and circulation problems in the area, and needs surgical correction in any case. So she sent me to a surgeon, who seemed OK, but he set a date for Dec. 27 at a hospital and told me I had to call the hospital to find out what the fees would be: after much go-round (they sounded as if they had not heard of anyone being uninsured before) they said $8000 and they wanted half up front. I went back to the surgeon's and said there was no way that was happening. The receptionist said, well before you cancel let me talk to them, and if I can't get anywhere with them I'll have the doctor talk to them. We'll see.

[DonFL (imported)]

I'm the 1st gentleman MrT was talking about, i think, Ive only met one other hyperandroginism patient on the board but his experience was more on the aggression side, this is what my experience was:

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthr ... #post88339

and the long version:

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=11419

Yours doesn't sound as severe as i went through, but that can be a matter of mental self control or physical severity.

and you could be correct, your over sensitive to a normal level of T. In that case you might want to try small doses of androcur and bring it down and see what happens. I have a thread for full chemical castration but Id a protocol for lowering only, I was a organic pharm chem major with a minor in pharmacological endocrinology student 2 weeks from graduation, my 1st sinus tumor blacked me out and killed the end. Im not licensed to actually prescribe or give medical advice to a person, but say publishing a paper on the Internet to the either in general is ok...

Due to requests, chemical castration protocol with optional levels of feminizing

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12114

My current Eunuch to Male reversion protocol.

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showpos ... stcount=24

If you would like to order your own serum T tests online for $47.97 online so you can track it over time, IM me, and I will give you the address of where you order it, the test is done by labcorp, the same place all other doctors use.

My case was finally declared testicular cancer from a ludwig cell tumor after seeking help on and off for 16 years, y, since i was 14, AFTER i had a back-ally castration I had to do after I had got a biopsy was really bad and 2 ultrasounds were bad and still my dr wouldn't act. My case was "too complex for him". I took my medical records and pathology samples of my organs to the hospital with me.

After that the medical system treated like gold, i got the rest of the cords removed, got good GP and psyc help.. my sinus tumor had returned and it got the best treatment the UofM could provide and is nearly gone.. but i have insurance that is rare, 100% coverage. if you cant afford insurance, which you cant, no one can get affordable individual plans, you might check to see if your able to get into your state medicaid program, its better than nothing...

Another issue you ahve to watch out for, the level ranges printed on the tests are wide, too many doctors go by them like the bible, often, for many people, thoes ranges are BS.

As my 1st endo prof said the 1st day of class, "what im going to teach you can be a complete load of horse shit, we know next to nothing about the human hormone system, what im going to teach is what we THINK we know".... And that man was the head professor of the department.

And like plix, i was castrated chemicaly for the psyc effects at 22, before i had my fun.. im enjoying the "normality" ive just began.

I'm just very afraid of doctors. OK, so which outcome (listed in what I think is the order from least to most likely) should I be most scared of?

1. I have a tumor like mrt suggests, and can look forward to financially and physically ruinous sessions with chemo/radiation/surgery, at the end of which I have a good choice of dying anyhow.

2. I have a serious hormonal imbalance like mismatched had, and will have to make some hard (or not-so-hard!) decisions about how "male" I want to continue to be.

3. The tests show absolutely nothing abnormal, because there is nothing nothing nothing wrong with me-- physically at least; I'm just going crazy, and will soon be like some of the odder people who hang around the fringes of this board.

4. The tests show nothing particularly out of the ordinary, except for a few things that are a little peculiar, and the doctors can't do a thing for me, except poke and prod some more at the curious specimen I am.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

Confusing isn't it? I got opposite opinions from a good endocrinologist and a good urologist, both very acomplished in their fields. I have now moved on to others who are more willing to acknowlege what they don't know and procede from there. --FLO--