The Buddy Code

[noxmagnus (imported)]

1. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him.

2. Under no circumstances may two guys share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow attendees.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not -- and should not -- provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination. Beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call out, "Bullshit!" (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits. Forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every increment of hotness she scores on the classic "1-to-10" Babe Scale.

9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may, however, gripe if its temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission. He, in return, is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be regarded as spies until they demonstrate a knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a guy's zipper is down, that's his problem. You didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or even like his girlfriend's cat.

17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare the excuse about joining the priesthood.

[twaddler (imported)]

"

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

"

Yes, this is very true. I cannot think of a move I've been involved with in the last 10yrs taht has not included complimentary beer.

"

16. A man must never own a cat or even like his girlfriend's cat.

"

booo!

[considering (imported)]

I once owned a pair of Caracal Cats. Each weighed forty pounds, could leap twelve feet in the air and catch their own food. A useful attribute in a "household" pet. Admittedly, this household was in South Africa but surely these are a man's cat.

[HairyHarry (imported)]

I once owned a pair of Caracal Cats. Each weighed forty pounds, could leap twelve feet in the air and catch their own food. A useful attribute in a "household" pet. Admittedly, this household was in South Africa but surely these are a man's cat.

Sounds like my kind of cat, would soon put an end to the yapping dog owned by a local farmer....

[JoaoGenerico (imported)]

"

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits. Forever.

"

What about his brother?

[ramses (imported)]

"

15. The universal comp

ensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

"

Yes, this is very true. I cannot think of a move I've been involved with in th

e last 10yrs taht has not included complimentary beer.

"

16. A man must never own a cat or even like his girlfriend's cat.

"

booo! Sorry Tanglog, The Code is The Code...

[kristoff]

"

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits. Forever.

"

What about his brother?

Code says nothing about brothers. Go for it! And look to see if he has 2 brotherssmokes: