Outsourcing

[JesusA (imported)]

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

September 7, 2007

Washington, DC (AP) – Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of October 1, 2007. The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that the office has incurred during the last 5 years. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted. Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the office of President as of October 1, 2007. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as President Bush had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

[Paolo]

Well, as for the part about Bush...oh, if only!

[tugon (imported)]

It is just too bad it did not happen sooner.

[Riverwind (imported)]

I love it, Bush the greeter at a Wally World.

I know India will do a better job, at least thats what all these employers have been saying for years. CEO's next.

River

[ramses (imported)]

I bet an Indian telesupport company could find a way to track and document all the illegal aliens in this country. More than the US govt has been able to do. Hell, they don't know if we have 12 or 20 million illegals here.

[Paolo]

I prefer the term "retro-active abortions"...up to age 75, that is...sometimes it's called for!

[blondboy (imported)]

That was a hilarious joke!! I loved the part about how Bush hasn't been aware of the issues ever. It was great!!

[Kortpeel (imported)]

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

September 7, 2007

Washington, DC (AP) –[/b] Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of October 1, 2007.

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Nice idea but wouldn't it be better for you guys over there to come back home to England?

You could have a few seats in the British Parliament so you would have representation and we'd overlook the tea you threw into Boston Harbour (In Britain we understand hooliganism).

England has come on a lot since George III's time and you guys would probably be quite at home in a parliamentary democracy. You could even have Prince William as Governor General for the time being, until he gets his promotion.

The health service, although much complained about isn't that bad and it's free to all. Women's and gay's rights are well established. Ageism is next on the liberal agenda. You can have abortions on demand and the British fully understand the concept of the pursuit of happiness.

The one downside is that the vast majority of the British speak only English and in some hard to understand local dialect at that. Still, why not give it a thought.

Kortpeel

[IbPervert (imported)]

In case you all have not noticed, but each American President is worse then the last one.

Hmmmm go back to being British? Only if I get Price Williams royal jelly on my tongue.

[HairyHarry (imported)]

I have wondered if the idiots in charge of England at the time of the Tea incident had been a lot smarter, whether we'd still have New England?