We All Miss Andrew (Brace yourself for these)

[Studlover (imported)]

Brace yourself for all of these...just a warning

1) Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus, we'll never know For Whom The Tells Bowled.

2) A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down and wait your turn. You'll just have to be a little patient."

3) A marine biologist in Africa developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of seagulls ran out so he had to go out and catch some more. On the way back to his lab he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he carefully stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

4) A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal shaman who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the shaman looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

5) Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression,"He who has a Tates is lost!"

6) A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. At news conference later, a spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

7) An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

8) A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

9) There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin, however, had twin boys. This goes to prove that the sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus are equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides. [Yes, I know that “squaw” is a very derogatory word, but the pun was too good not to pass along.]

[JesusA (imported)]

I have emailed a copy of these to Andrew. I spoke with him on the telephone just a bit ago. He's doing well, but has decided to direct all his extracurricular efforts toward AA, where he feels that he can be a help to others face-to-face. He sends his greetings to all the EA crew. He said that he may log on here again sometime soon to see what has been developing.

[Studlover (imported)]

I have emailed a copy of these to Andrew. I spoke with him on the telephone just a bit ago. He's doing well, but has decided to direct all his extracurricular efforts toward AA, where he feels that he can be a help to others face-to-face. He sends his greetings to all the EA crew. He said that he may log on here again sometime soon to see what has been developing.

Jesus, very of you to do that.

SL

[Blaise (imported)]

I enjoyed Andrew's posts.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Yes I think we all miss Andrew in some way or another. I am just glad he is doing ok, that is the most important thing.

River

[A-1 (imported)]

I, too, miss Andrew.

Remind him that he must be friendly with his friends...

A-1