Another Argument with Mom

[plix (imported)]

It happened again. We had another argument. About my TSness. Earlier she had agreed to go with me to Thailand if I go there for FFS because I'm not too keen on the idea of going there alone. Now she tells me that she thought about it and changed her mind because doing that would mean she is supporting me. She wants to make it very clear she does not support me at all.

The good news I save money but the bad news is I have to go there alone if that is where I choose to go.

She again told me that she will not disown me but that she does not support me. She continues to call me by my male name after I've asked her not to many times. Maybe she won't disown me, but how can she expect me to stick around with the way she is treating me?

We don't have a relationship as it is. The only reason I stay in touch with her is for my 9 year old sister. And in the past my mom has used her to threaten me. She said that if I tell her about my transition, she may have to forbid me from seeing her.

Using the kids as pawns. That's something you do with your ex-husband, not another one of your kids.

I don't see things getting any better with her. It's mainly about the religion, and she is getting more involved in it as the days pass. I have already lost my brother and may lose her too. I plan to tell my grandmother soon, and I don't see things going any better with her.

I may have to accept that by transitioning I will lose my family. It's something many TSs have to do. I would miss my sister, but if she'll accept me, I'm sure we can find a way to keep in touch. It's too bad though. It really is.

[numnuts (imported)]

'This above all, to thyne ownself be true. For then it must follow as day follows night, that thou cannot be false to any man.' -Billy Shakespeare-

There are anomalies in this world. Babies being born dead, crippled, addicted to drugs, and even in the wrong bodies gender wise. God doesn't get it right every time. If your Mother wants to be mad at anyone, tell her to be mad at him.

Stay strong, stay true. And find solice in an old Zen saying......... "Perhaps it is you who moved away from me, by standing still."

[sag111 (imported)]

Plix i am sorry to say just because a person beleaves in God dosent mean they act like christians.Plix i am a christian and i know things happen that dosent make sence like how you feel inside and your need to get that person out where she belongs.Yes you may lose your famly but what is the alturnative to lose your life because you cant take this anymore.My thoughts on this would be that God would want you to be happy and no he dosent make mistakes that is the sin of the world that causes that and we have plenty of that to go around dont we.Plix your relationship with your God is between you and him and your mother cant threaten you by saying God dosent or wont accept you if you go through with this i think your mom bless her heart is so controling .Plix what is the best thing for you that is what you need to think of not how someone can try to change your mind after all you didnt ask to be born this way but why should you stay this way. Plix my prayers are with you dear and yes may GOD bless you also.

[plix (imported)]

Plix i am sorry to say just because a person beleaves in God dosent mean they act like christians.Plix i am a christian and i know things happen that dosent make sence like how you feel inside and your need to get that person out where she belongs.Yes you may lose your famly but what is the alturnative to lose your life because you cant take this anymore.My thoughts on this would be that God would want you to be happy and no he dosent make mistakes that is the sin of the world that causes that and we have plenty of that to go around dont we.Plix your relationship with your God is between you and him and your mother cant threaten you by saying God dosent or wont accept you if you go through with this i think your mom bless her heart is so controling .Plix what is the best thing for you that is what you need to think of not how someone can try to change your mind after all you didnt ask to be born this way but why should you stay this way. Plix my prayers are with you dear and yes may GOD bless you also.

How did you get to be so incredibly sweet ?

What do you think God would say about TSism? There are other reasons, but I have to admit a large part of why I've strayed from the faith is knowing that Christianity and TSism probably don't mix.

She says that if God had wanted me to be a girl, he would have made me that way.

Yes, the alternative would be to lose my life. I can't go on living as a man much longer. I can't take it.

[Falcon (imported)]

How did you get to be so incredibly sweet ?

What do you think God would say about TSism? There are other reasons, but I have to admit a large part of why I've strayed from the faith is knowing that Christianity and TSism probably don't mix.

She says that if God had wanted me to be a girl, he would have made me that way.

Yes, the alternative would be to lose my life. I can't go on living as a man much longer. I can't take it.

Before you close yourself off to faith, visit my church's website.

http://sixthchurch.org/

Terry

[sag111 (imported)]

Plix the reason i feel God wouldent condem you is because he knows you he knows you better then you know yourself.He is a just God but also a very kind God so its just my thoughts on this as it is not realey spelled out in the bible about TS problems.I think to many people want things done THEIR way and if it isent they want to condem that person because THEY dont think it is right.What about the person that is getting a face lift is that person condemed because she or he made changes in their body that they didnt want?.And what about the people born with both sexes where do we put them .........do we just condem them because they have a problem they didnt ask for .....Ithink not.I for one feel the Christian comunity should do as God said love your neighbor as you love yourself not condem him because THEY didnt think it was right and who are we to condem anyone.Plix please dont go through life thinking God has an iron fist just waiting to smash you for things you cant controal if that were the case i would be dead meat long ago and if you are worried about what God is thinking just beleave in him and live your life the best you can and not as others would want or think you should.Plix your friends and family have never lived a day knowing your problems and never walked one step in your shoes so how can they ever know what is best for you.

Take care my friend and hang in their i know the road is rough but with love from others you can make it ...........love sag111

[numnuts (imported)]

What do you think God would say about TSism? ....... She says that if God had wanted me to be a girl, he would have made me that way.

Maybe he did.

[bryan (imported)]

Plix,

With regard to your mom: remember that many a churchgoer lacks exposure in dealing with such issues. My vision opened up bigtime this past year.

Christianity isn't a matter of staying within the law. Law sets out boundaries to restrain the selfishness in us. If all we do is stay within prescribed limits, yet remain in the driver's seat of our lives, we haven't entered into true Christianity. Christianity is a matter of surrendering to Christ (which takes faith) and giving him control. So the question isn't whether our actions are within religious law. The question is, "What would Christ my master have me do?" Our selfishness has to yield to him. So Christianity can be more demanding than law, yet frees us from being slaves to the letter of the law.

Is SRS okay in God's sight? There are various factors to consider: Is a marriage involved? Are children involved? (Neither, in your case.) What is the chance of status quo working out? (Suicide is not an option.) Does the transition have a good chance for success? What are the reasons behind the transition -- mental/emotional health, or something else?

I'm honestly struggling with the question.

Here's an approach to try. Assume for now that transitioning is okay with the Lord. But take it at a slower pace for the time being. (Castration was a big step, and there's no need to rush things. Let your body and mind adjust.) At the same time, seek the Lord the best way you know how. That way, you will have Someone at your side to guide you.

Eight months ago when I was trying everything possible to diminish/decommision Mr. Penis, I was surprised at how faith (divine guidance) operated. I found some things I did were acceptable (but weird and unmentionable nonetheless), but others crossed an invisible line in my gut and weren't to be repeated. (Castration has brought much relief.)

I won't tell you, "Go ahead and do it if it's what you want to do." No -- we want to make sure the outcome is a good fit. It's interesting to hear that some on this forum have found peace at a point inbetween the genders even after transitioning. So fully transitioning isn't a guaranteed win. Nice if you can avoid the extra effort in the first place.

What is your interest in being female? (That's rhetorical.) One of the biggest changes will be your social opportunities. Instead of being with guys for the most part, you will be with the girls. Subject matter of conversations, generally speaking, will be very different.

For others of you reading this: I like the tolerance displayed at EA. Plix raised the question, and I tried answering. Please tolerate me too, okay?

Praying for you,

[SplitDik (imported)]

Plix,

Your family's religious views are likely as strong as your need for transition ... I doubt either of you will waver in your convictions. So, sad as it may be, you need to move on and make a new family from people who support you.

Most intelligent people can see that gender identity is predisposed and not learned/voluntary. But a strict Biblical interpretation is clearly against homosexuality. So it's a tough situation for your mother ... her world view is being challenged at a fundamental level.

A lot of people don't get along with their family (some members of my family haven't seen each other for seven years because of a dispute over a wind chime ...).

So live and let live and embrace your new you. In fact, I think your transition may be actually EASIER by being able to cut all your ties and start fresh.

Cheers!

[numnuts (imported)]

A lot of people don't get along with their family (some members of my family haven't seen each other for seven years because of a dispute over a wind chime ...).

LoL, dam if I can't relate to that!