9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you
enter the trailer park."
8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
6. Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a
day."
5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to
Goodwill last month.
4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a
typo.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors
with little "m"s on them.
And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO
1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape
