He Was Still a Novice

[Studlover (imported)]

He was still a novice.

His goal was to become an Arahat, a worthy person. He had given up all

his possessions, his family and his friends. He had studied Tripikita

night and day and had strove to follow the Noble Eightfold Path.

But it was not enough. He had not reached the inner peace, the

perfection, the Nirvana necessary to finally become a lama.

Then the toothache came.

It would not stop no matter how much he tried to meditate.

Yoga failed.

He had to visit the dentist who found caries extending down to the

root. He would need a root canal operation.

He readily agreed. Anything to stop the pain.

The dentist offered Novacaine or Nitrous Oxide.

He refused. He had the entire root canal done without any type of

anesthesia.

And when the operation was finished he knew that he had reached his

goal in life. He was finally able to transcend dental medication.

[Andrew (imported)]

A Thai emigrant to England, named Pred, became very active in British politics till an incident in a bar late one night, when he was thrown out for hitting on woman after woman after woman in a most persistent and insistent manner. The matter made the next day's paper, and the scandal threatened to ruin his political career. "What on earth were you thinking of?" asked a senior politico, who was astonished at such flagrant misbehavior.

"I was just living up to my name," the émigré answered. "I'm Pred, a Tory."

[Studlover (imported)]

A Thai emigrant to England, named Pred, became very active in British politics till an incident in a bar late one night, when he was thrown out for hitting on woman after woman after woman in a most persistent and insistent manner. The matter made the next day's paper, and the scandal threatened to ruin his political career. "What on earth were you thinking of?" asked a senior politico, who was astonished at such flagrant misbehavior.

"I was just living up to my name," the émigré answered. "I'm Pred, a Tory."

And moving right along......

SL

[Dave (imported)]

Did you ever hear the Trance and Dental Etudes for Piano by PDQ Bach?

It has a grieving and sullen round based in the lower left hand and shrieks placed in the upper right hand. Occasionally the middle section is played by banging the nose onto the piano.

These were composed before the Trancendental Etudes by Franz Liszt

(By the way - Listz's etudes are properly named "12 etudes by execution transcendent")

[Studlover (imported)]

Did you ever hear the Trance and Dental Etudes for Piano by PDQ Bach?

It has a grieving and sullen round based in the lower left hand and shrieks placed in the upper right hand. Occasionally the middle section is played by banging the nose onto the piano.

These were composed before the Trancendental Etudes by Franz Liszt

(By the way - Listz's etudes are properly named "12 etudes by execution transcendent")

BOO !!!

Having attempted to play the Liszt Transcendal Etudes, I can well appreciate this.

SL

[Andrew (imported)]

A guy bought a pair of parrots and decided to go into the parrot breeding business. He didn't think much of the fact that both birds were named Polly, but unfortunately both birds were actually female. Thus his plans for parrot breeding hit a snag until he got the idea of cloning them. After many months of work he was eventually able to produce a half dozen fertilized eggs. When they hatched, three of them were normal healthy females, but the other three were male, and the little guys had very malformed wings and legs. Little wonder that they say, "Polly chicks makes strange bred fellows."

[A-1 (imported)]

Mr. Combs had a furniture store specializing in ornate antiques in the baroque style. He had walking pneumonia last month but was at the store anyway.

He was in one of the baroque style chairs rubbing Vicks Vaporub on his aching chest when he serendipitously discovered that the soothing ointment gave the furniture a wonderful, deep, rich shine.

He immediately told the other furniture store owners since their furniture was more modern in style and they were not competitors.

Soon he got reports that the Vicks treatment not only failed to work on the modern furniture, but ruined some of it.

Mr. Combs is very unpopular now and his only consolation is that he learned one important rule: 'If it ain't baroque, don't Vicks it'.

Musically yours...

A-1

[Studlover (imported)]

Mr. Combs had a furniture store specializing in ornate antiques in the baroque style. He had walking pneumonia last month but was at the store anyway.

He was in one of the baroque style chairs rubbing Vicks Vaporub on his aching chest when he serendipitously discovered that the soothing ointment gave the furniture a wonderful, deep, rich shine.

He immediately told the other furniture store owners since their furniture was more modern in style and they were not competitors.

Soon he got reports that the Vicks treatment not only failed to work on the modern furniture, but ruined some of it.

Mr. Combs is very unpopular now and his only consolation is that he learned one important rule: 'If it ain't baroque, don't Vicks it'.

Musically yours...

A-1

Brilliant! I send that to a professor on musicology friend of mine! He'll love that one!

SL

[Andrew (imported)]

And moving right along......

SL

A Great Dane complained to the London subway authorities that he couldn't get a train on the Underground. "There are always scores of small dogs in front of me!" he protested. "Well," replied the official huffily, "You shouldn't be trying to travel during the peke hour!"