Life's Stupid Questions #5

[Studlover (imported)]

LIFE'S STUPID QUESTIONS # 5

151 If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

152 If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

153 If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards

to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money?

154 If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

155 If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

156 If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

157 If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,

does he become disoriented?

158 If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a

joke?

159 If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

160 If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it

from a height, what would happen?

161 If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

162 If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

163 If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a

horn?

164 If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?

165 If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when

you turn on the headlights?

166 In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If

you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?

167 Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters

just use flame-throwers?

168 Is "tired old cliché" one?

169 Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

170 Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback?

171 Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer?

172 Is a small pig called a hamlet?

173 Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine?

174 Is drilling for oil boring?

175 Is duck tape made out of ducks

176 Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

177 Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste

funny?

178 Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?

179 Is the nose the scenter of the face?

180 Is this bullshit or fertilizer?

181 Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?

182 Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed?

183 Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw

hamburgers?

184 Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a

speed of smell?

185 The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage,

Dorothy got home, what did Toto get?

186 Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin

thrower?

187 What are imitation rhinestones?

188 What do batteries run on?

189 What do chickens think we taste like?

190 What do penguins wear for play clothes?

191 What do people in China call their good plates?

192 What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

193 What do they call a French kiss in France?

194 What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company?

195 What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?

196 What do you call a male ladybug?

197 What do you call male ballerinas?

198 What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?

199 What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

200 What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald

man?

201 What happened to the first 6 UP's?

202 What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice?

203 What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass?

204 What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil?

205 What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

206 What happens when none of your bees wax?

207 What happens when you swallow your pride?

208 What if hell really did freeze over? What would we be using

instead?

209 What if someone died in the living room?

210 What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

211 What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you

tell them to go?

212 What is "Soft Liquor"?

213 What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

214 What is a refried bean? Why do they have to fry it twice?

215 What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved?

216 What is the diameter of a square?

217 What is the speed of dark?

218 What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum?

219 What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese

shredders?

220 What was the best thing before sliced bread?

221 Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

222 What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped?

223 What's the synonym for thesaurus?

224 When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

225 When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?