Odd Signs

[Studlover (imported)]

We Americans have taken many habits from our our ancestors in

England. Apparently some of our stupidity comes from them, too. Here are

some.... odd signs seen in England:

IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your

clothes when the light goes out.

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday

please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot

and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this

door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side

entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing

machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful

bargain.

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be

drowned. By order of the District Council.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here

for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants, Please Stay in Your Car

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't

know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for

free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell

you how to get lessons.

ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on

the door - the bell doesn't work)

SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please

use floor below.

[Paolo]

My favorite one was on my ISP's website, and in their monthly paper newsletter with the phone bill:

In the event that you cannot connect to access the Internet, click here...

or, on the paper - If you cannot connect to access the Internet, send an email to 'support @ my_provider.com'

Yeah, right...

[wannabe (imported)]

another one is at work, we have been sent some signs to put up saying that for people with certain dissabilities (example: deffness) we have some staff trained for their dissability (which we dont anyway)...... and one of the signs is for blind people

[Riverwind (imported)]

Have you ever noticed that there is brail on the drive up ATM machines?

That is of course for the blind guy that has a person in shotgun telling him how and when to turn, break, etc. most likely it is his 12 yr old kid.

River