"Well, today I did it!"
"Did What?"
"I did it and the fired me for it"
"Did what?"
"I got back at Teresa Heinz for marrying that Democrat"
"What's wrong with Democrats? I voted for one in the last election."
"Yeah, and you might say that what I did today was kind or 'Gorey'"
"Dick, just what is it that you did?"
"I did it, I'm proud of it, but they fired me for it."
By this time Dick's wife is concerned and also curious. She says,
"Dick, you tell me what you did right now."
"Well, I have decided that I don't want the penectormy."
"Is that all?"
"Nope, it ain't."
"WHAT??? I thought that what what you wanted."
"Well, I have changed my mind. Today, at work, I stuck my PENIS in the Pickle SLICER. I don't regret it, and I am glad that I done it, and I don't need a penectomy any longer."
"OH MY GOD, DICK, YOU DIDN'T!"
"YES I did! I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer."
"Oh God, what happened then?"
"The pickle slicer just pulled my dick inside all the way down to the root and smashed into my pelvis and then fell over."
"What did they do to the pickle slicer after that?"
"Well, they FIRED her, too."
RIVER, PLEASE 
A-1