Once Upon a Time (Alexander the Great)

[Studlover (imported)]

ONCE UPON A TIME.....

Once upon a time... Alexander the Great was just Alexander a medocire run of the mill general.

He tried hard but usually arrived at the battle too early or too late (since watches and clocks haven't been invented.) He appeared to be doomed to obscurity until bright Hebrew lad, "Herbie" of Macedonia... made a suggestion that changed history...

"Sire.," Herbie say timidly, " I have puttering about with diverse rare earth's and chemical substances. I have not yet uncovered the secret of transformation base metals into gold, but I HAVE discovered some phenomena that might be of use in our military endevors."

"A new weapon?"

"No sire, A simple device that will enable your eminence to accuratery assertain the proper moment for our armies to arrive upon the scene. It worked out quite well until TIMEX is invented.

"Very intresting.......... Tell me more."

"Well, you will take this scrap of cloth, dip it into this special liquid dye, and tie it around your wrist. As we march along in the heat of the day, the liquid gradually evaporates, causing the cloth to slowly change color at a highly pedictable rate. providing an accurate gauge of how many hours have passed."

Alexander adopted the idea............ ( TAKING FULL CREDIT) and went on to greatness and immorrality, and this invention made it possible !!!!!

The piece of cloth that changed the world??????

It has henceforth been refered to as...........................

AEXANADER'S RAG TIME BAND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[Riverwind (imported)]

OH NO< another Andrew

RW

[Andrew (imported)]

OH NO< another Andrew

RW

Ignore Riverwind and keep those puns a-coming.Loved it!

Riverwind, just stuff some cheese up your rear, OK? (This is, of course, the Feta worse then death)

[Dave (imported)]

ARGH!!!!

go stand in a corner you naughty boy!!!!

[Andrew (imported)]

OH NO< another Andrew

RW

A traveler in the Himalayas came upon a great gathering of holy men,

philosophers, and aspiring Buddhas. They represented all aspects of

belief and seeking, including one aged guru who was reputed to have

achieved nirvana by subsisting entirely on a diet of asparagus.

The traveler was astonished, when, in a sudden mountain shower, all

of the participants in this conclave were drenched, except the

asparagus-eater. The rain simply avoided falling on him, as if he

were roofed. "That's incredible," said the traveler.

"Not at all," said his native guide, "It is not sung of in America,

even on Broadway, but Bliss Is The Awning Of The Sage of Asparagus."

[Dave (imported)]

Bliss Is The Awning Of The Sage of Asparagus.

That's just so painfully bad, bad, bad, bad, bad...

argh, choke, gag, puke, argh...



I'm sending it to all my friends!