A) twenty five feet with the lid up...
Q) In heaven you get a harp, in hell you get ???
A) an accordian
Q) How do you get a violist to play tremolo?
A) Mark the passage "solo"
Q) What's the difference between a rutabaga and a bagpipe?
A) you can eat the rutabaga
Q) If a bagpiper tells you he's been playing the intrument for 20 years, how many of them have been spent tuning up?
A) 10 or 12 and he's still out of tune!!