Paolo's Colon Explodeth Upon this Flick

[Paolo]

Melancholia

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1527186/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

And how in hell did they get all these big names like John Hurt and Keifer Sutherland and Mary Jane (I mean Kirsten Dunst) in this turkey?

OK, Nibtards, this flick is for you. 2 hours and 10 agonizing minutes of gloom and doom.

Planet X or Melancholia has come out from behind the sun for a flyby, and it won't hit the Earth. Sure it won't...

It does. The first five minutes of the movie is the END of the movie. So why watch it?!

The audio is awful. Loud music, and mumbled dialog so low you cannot hear it at 100% volume.

So Kirsten is getting married. She's depressed. In fact, she's a nut. She needs to be in Belleview. Then there's her nephew, about 8, who's all excited about it, but then he begins to worry. Even the bloody horse is a whacko.

Never mind the fact that we toss gravity and physics right into the pooper, where this film belongs. FLUSH!

The characters are rich uptight crazy people, you hate them right off, the plot is based in conspiracy theory, the script is awful, the dialog stiff, but...the kid (Cameron Spurr, first role) is cute. As a parent, I notice these things, you see.

Then the planet hits the Earth, they die, you die, we all die and the movie is over.

Praise all known Deities!

[Riverwind (imported)]

I just watched the trailer its a 2011 movie they said Oscar for best actress among others. The trailer was forgettable, evidently so was the movie because it was not nominated for anything. Even Deathly Hollows 2 lost a couple bids but this one got nothing. I had never even herd of it.

I wonder if the band from the Titanic was playing for this one too.

Another looser of a movie, they all die in that one too.

River

[Cainanite (imported)]

This is one I tried to warn Paolo about. I should have done a better job. Sorry Paolo.

I totally agree with your dissection of it. Too much doom and gloom. By the end of this movie, I was cheering for Planet X to hit them. I should have been cheering for the people. This movie made that impossible for me to do.

[A-1 (imported)]

Take this DOG to the Vet and get it SPAYED. We sure as hell do not want it spinning off pups...

[Paolo]

Well the good thing is you can't have a spin off , since both planets smashed one another.

[A-1 (imported)]

Well the good thing is you can't have a spin off , since both planets smashed one another.

SHIT.

As STUPID as the people are who wrote this script they will probably go with some half-witted parallel universe or something and then go about their merry way destroying it, too. The thing about parallel universes is that there is supposed to be an infinite number of them.

So guess what?

Yep! YOU GUESSED IT!

[Dave (imported)]

Well the good thing is you can't have a spin off , since both planets smashed one another.

It could have a prequel ...

I avoided this movie at any cost. It hit the PPV and Premium Cable channels faster than cat shit through a tin horn and seems to have disappeared. Maybe it's on one I don't get.

This is something that Comic Book Heroes and Illustrated Novels get away with all the time -- run a prequel or a "creation" story for the jerk with superpowers. However, when they are making movies by numbers (1,2,3 to gain big bucks from a franchise) The merchandising takes over the entire movie and spoils the story.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Like I said, this movie is like Titanic, it took 4 hours to tell as story that took place in 20 minutes, it sank get over it.

River