Over sexed

[george2u2 (imported)]

I've tried Chemical castration for a test drive.

Now the question is Why? (I know there is only one real answer to the question why and it's "Why not" every other response is because; and a who, what, when, where or how answer.)

How much time do I spend masturbating? Is it wasting more time than chasing a ball, or watching sports?

Porn addiction? How about TV addiction? What do I spend more time at? Is watching pleasant looking people giving and getting pleasure, OR watching Murder drama and explosions more likely to have negative consequences?

What does a woman complain about when her husband masturbates? Is she not getting enough? She should offer to be more available. At least the masturbation is taking off, not putting on pounds, like eating decadent deserts.

Is addiction to religion any less addictive than addiction to sex? Religion is sometimes refered to as the addiction you couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't give up, Yet how many people just pray to imaginary heaverly friends instead of solving the real problems?

Is being a Rush, or Sean Ditto head any less harmful than other sexual beliefs?

inquiring mind wants to know.

[Losethem (imported)]

In a heterosexual relationship I would say the husband masturbating (or the wife for that matter) should only be an issue if one or the other finds their needs are not being met sexually, and they find the other masturbating. However, neither should get pissed off or upset at the other giving themselves self-pleasure if that person is otherwise sexually satisfied.

Put another way, if a wife keeps saying, "Not tonight honey, I have a headache" and the man goes off and masturbates, she shouldn't be getting mad about it.

--LT

[Cainanite (imported)]

In a heterosexual relationship I would say the husband masturbating (or the wife for that matter) should only be an issue if one or the other finds their needs are not being met sexually, and they find the other masturbating. However, neither should get pissed off or upset at the other giving themselves self-pleasure if that person is otherwise sexually satisfied.

Put another way, if a wife keeps saying, "Not tonight honey, I have a headache" and the man goes off and masturbates, she shouldn't be getting mad about it.

--LT

Wow. This opens a kettle of worms.

Let us imagine that the wife is sexually satisfied, yet finds her husband masturbating anyway. Maybe his level of satisfaction is not being met?

Now if the wife is not sexually satisfied, and still finds the husband masturbating... Who is at fault? Maybe both. What do you do when the sex isn't good enough, that masturbation is preferred? Try new positions? Try and spice up the bedroom?

There are a lot of reasons for issues. Women have Kegle exercises that could help things along. Men can change their diets, and exercise to improve stamina.

I think it can be a common problem for people to have bad sexual experiences, and resort to masturbation for sexual relief.

There may be an underlying medical problem, like nerve damage (part of my own issue.) or emotional repression. If you are having a big enough issue that it is damaging to your relationship, you should consult your doctor or doctors. If that isn't an option, there are plenty of books on the subject. Perhaps a mutual masturbation session will solve the relationship issues.

Some of us just don't have a powerful enough sex drive, and that can be a problem too. From my research of the subject (and personal experience) most normally sexual people entwine sexual pleasure with emotional stability. When we see our partner seeking sexual relief outside the pair bond, it is taken as a sign that the relationship is in trouble.

For myself, I can only achieve sexual relief through a very concentrated mental effort on my part. It literally takes ALL of my concentration. I cannot maintain that level of concentration with a partner, it doesn't matter what level of spice I add to the bedroom, it is just too much work.

I'm not suggesting a solution here, I'm just pointing out that there are a lot of reasons why there could be a problem, that one of the pair bond needs to masturbate, and that sex wouldn't be enough. Until you understand the reasons, there won't be any kind of a solution. You need to explore those reasons deeply before you do anything drastic like castrating one's self or taking hormone blocking drugs.

I think both partners need to explore the issue. For the relationship to work, both partners need to work at it. Could be the woman is satisfied, but is simply too loose for her husband's pleasure. Maybe it is she that needs to work on a few things. As I said, there are Kegel exercises that can work to tighten things up.

Castration (chemical or otherwise) shouldn't be the go-to solution. This is something that needs to be very deeply explored.

[SplitDik (imported)]

As someone who ended up with castration obsession due to trying to get rid of the frustrations of being oversexed, I would say that it is possible to come to terms with being over-sexed such that the castration becomes unnecessary (and fades somewhat as an obsession).

First of all, you need to really become comfortable with being sexual and having sexual thoughts/urges. I really finally figured this out when I was hanging out with some old Italian guys. We were sitting talking and every time a girl would walk by they would totally watch, make comments (to each other, not the girl) and generally appreciate the spectacle. To my North American, modern male sentiments my first reaction was that these guys were sleazy. But after watching them for a while I changed my attitude -- they were just embodying their nature as guys. A girl is fun to look at, it is fun to imagine what you'd do to her, etc. I'm not recommending that you start harassing women, but just saying that *we were built to lust after women, and it is entirely fine*. In fact, I would say that repressing it is a problem.

Secondly, and similarly you should get to the point where masturbation, porn, seeing strippers, maybe even escorts, is simply natural with no feelings of failure, embarassment or regret. Unless you own a harem, a guy simply will not get enough sex with partners. I'm in a great relationship, where my wife is nicely sexual, at least once a day, and I still masturbate at least once a day. But it is fine. It used to make me feel furtive, or like a failure (i.e. pleasuring yourself means you couldn't get a woman), but that is stupid. One way to think about it is that pretty much every guy you see during the day has likely masturbated in the past 24 hours, and probably lots of the women too!

Thirdly, you need other physical, non-sexual outlets for your "male energy". You need to do something athletic, aggressive, and thrilling on a regular basis. I personally take boxing classes. It is amazing to get out your aggression, and feel the physical exertion and success of achievement.

Basically, what I'm saying is that our modern living and society is greatly repressing to any "manly man". If you want to stick your dick in every woman you see, that is actually okay, but everyone would act like it isn't. If you want to punch something, that is natural, but everyone acts like it isn't.

To put it another way, guys like you and me feel that there is a big disconnect from who we are and how we are supposed to be in our society. So you have two choices to fix this -- you can try to physically castrate yourself to match the socially neutered self-image, or you can change your self-image to be the lustful, virile, powerful man that you were built to be.

[Bignuts123 (imported)]

I think being "over sexed" is wonderful. It is how some of us were made and many that are not think we should all be neutered. Okay if being castrated is what you really want because it would make you happy or feel complete then of course you should do it. BUT because you have a huge sex drive and love sex in all forms is NOT a good reason at all. The end result will make you unhappy and force you to give up something you enjoy to the extreme. Find a partner that feels the same as you!! The sex will be incredible. My very dear grandfathter that died at 88 in the early seventies told me if God didn't what you to play with you cock he would have put it out of reach!

[knightbird111 (imported)]

most attractive women despise oversexed guys from my experience. I am oversexed, constantly googly eyes over women and I can tell you from my experience they hate it. Also my libido would be so high that I cant even approach them and have a normal conversation. I saw a guy making it very obvious to these two gorgeous women that he was infatuated with them. Those women did not give that guy the time of day. As for the other dude who is just without a care for women, all women are surrounding that guy.

Personally removing a majority of my T would do me some good. Maybe not all the T but probably some of it. My concerns are depression but in general after I masturbated a good amount and watched porn that would throw me into depression. So I think castration might serve me well.

I also would say a man is better off not masturbating at all. Masturbation messes up the male energy. Masturbation also conditions a mans mind to become over stimulated and aggressive in general. So if you find yourself to be pissed off its probably masturbation. I believe to not masturbate helps the nervous system.

I've come to realize that some things we enjoy could be harmful to us meaning it is good to do things in moderation. Personally I would love to do away with masturbation for good but as that other post said if God didn't want you to play with your cock he would have put it out of reach!...........i seriously wish he did.

[SplitDik (imported)]

most attractive women despise oversexed guys from my experience. I am oversexed, constantly googly eyes over women and I can tell you from my experience they hate it. Also my libido would be so high that I cant even approach them and have a normal conversation. I saw a guy making it very obvious to these two gorgeous women that he was infatuated with them. Those women did not give that guy the time of day. As for the other dude who is just without a care for women, all women are surrounding that guy.

I think you're confused about what oversexed has to be. Of course if you make women aware that you are desperate to be with them they won't generally be interested. But it is not that hard to be cool on the outside even if you are hot on the inside.

When I mentioned the Italian guys who watch girls and comment on them, they didn't do it in a desperate way. Rather it was sort of a dominant way. Any woman would notice the attention, but also would realize that they are just one of any number of women -- that the guys treat all the women the same, and the guys give off the impression that they are the ones with the power to judge and choose.

Another thing I have to ask is: have you made yourself as attractive as possible? For one thing, if you're oversexed you really need to be in incredible shape. It isn't actually that hard, because you can channel all the sexual frustration and testosterone into effort in the gym. I even make it a competitive thing -- if I see a guy who is attracting attention from girls, I make sure that I can do all the exercise they can and then more. Also, do you dress nicely, etc.

I suppose it is possible to be generally unattractive and then sex drive might never be able to be fulfilled. I don't know because I was lucky enough to be tall, broad shouldered, brooding face, and it seems to do well enough with the ladies. But I also worked on my body, style and also I definitely purposefully make a point of pretending I'm not interested. It really drives good-looking girls crazy. One of my favorite tricks to get a girl's interest is to show interest in her friend instead, especially if the friend is plain. I don't even mean major show of interest, just subtle things like talk to the friend first, turn towards the friend a bit, etc. I also don't make eye contact with good-looking girls that try to lock eyes -- it really drives them crazy when you just walk by, or keep looking at something else, etc.

Anyway, I'm not actually big on tricking girls to like you, but just saying that being oversexed shouldn't mean that you act like a desperate horndog!

[knightbird111 (imported)]

well I am oversexed and desperate. I consider my face to be a 10 out of 10 in being a good looking guy but my height is 5'7" so that probably my issue. Being good looking has done absolutely nothing for me with women. If anything I was attracting women I would not want to be near.

As for me I really began to take interest in avoiding lustful thoughts about women. The lust literally took control of me. Seeing beautiful women everywhere completely makes me out of control mentally. So this is where I need to get castrated...its because I cannot even be sociable without my fleshly nature kicking in and making me handicapped in conversation with people.

With my balls I am a crazy creep and there is no peace in my life with these loose women always on my mind.

Not every single guy is damned with hardcore lust. Understand this, that there are guys who are manly and powerful yet can act very calm around women. These men get all the women. That is a great combination to have but unfortunately all of us are not granted those great qualities. I wish I was calm around women but my addiction to porn/masturbation does not allow it.

alcohol injections here i come.

[SplitDik (imported)]

well I am oversexed and desperate. I consider my face to be a 10 out of 10 in being a good looking guy but my height is 5'7" so that probably my issue. Being good looking has done absolutely nothing for me with women. If anything I was attracting women I would not want to be near.

As for me I really began to take interest in avoiding lustful thoughts about women. The lust literally took control of me. Seeing beautiful women everywhere completely makes me out of control mentally. So this is where I need to get castrated...its because I cannot even be sociable without my fleshly nature kicking in and making me handicapped in conversation with people.

With my balls I am a crazy creep and there is no peace in my life with these loose women always on my mind.

Not every single guy is damned with hardcore lust. Understand this, that there are guys who are manly and powerful yet can act very calm around women. These men get all the women. That is a great combination to have but unfortunately all of us are not granted those great qualities. I wish I was calm around women but my addiction to porn/masturbation does not allow it.

alcohol injections here i come.

You're not hearing what I'm telling you -- you can fix this. I was extremely oversexed. By the time I was 9 I couldn't even think straight -- would spend all day thinking about the girls (and women) around me naked. I was already so frustrated by this that I tried to sever my penis the first time at age 11 with a kitchen knife. I was already masturbating almost continuously. I would masturbate every time I went to the bathroom, any time I was alone, I even got where I was so horny I could orgasm just by thinking about it (no touch required). I would even fully ejaculate if I exerted myself physically (would cum just frrom doing pushups) which was tricky in gym class.

I got rich young and actually spent over $2M in hookers. I'm not exaggerating -- I had two girls on full exclusive pay continuously ($2k per day each) for a few years. When I had girlfriends, I would have sex with them and sneak out later in the night to visit my hookers. I acted in two porn movies. I cheated.

The only good part of all this was that I was only ever interested in mature women in fairly standard sex acts. I'm glad I didn't have the same levels of urge aimed at children or at hurting women, or I would be in jail for sure.

Anyway, all that time I just hated it. I was always sexually agitated, totally distracted, letting down women in my life, not achieving what I could in life (hard to put in a days work if you've been up all night), risking disease, risking reputation, etc.

But I conquered it. And fundamentally it starts with stopping hating it and accepting it. It is okay to want to bang hookers. It is okay to masturbate ten times a day. It is okay to view porn. The trick was to turn it around -- instead of it controlling me, I started controlling it. I would accept it and then plan it. For example, every day I now have a ritual to watch some high quality porn and masturbate twice before getting out of bed. This takes a huge amount of the edge off the lust. I then go to the gym every day. That also takes a lot of the anxiety down -- exercise ultimately is really refreshing to the spirit and works out a lot of stress.

That alone -- planned masturbation (without guilt) plus exercise will take a big knock of things. I'm still good to go for sex in the evenings, but usually don't need it to be too crazy. That's it.

The reason this is important to try is that being castrated has a lot of downsides to any guy that otherwise identifies straight and manly. You will likely lose drive, energy, strength, endurance, aggression, etc. You probably value those parts of your identity more than you realize ... some guys may not mind living their life like Mr. Rogers, but it's really not for everyone.

[nullorchis (imported)]

Each of us is dealt "a hand" by "Mother Nature" (our DNA). Whether you are short, and want to be tall, bald but want hair. or any one or more of innumerable body "deficiencies". If wanting, needing, craving, engaging in some kind of sexual activity is preventing you from otherwise enjoying your life, then it matters not that someone else wishes they had your problem, or does not understand that for you it is a problem.

As such, seek professional medical assistance. Something can be done to "dial down" your sexual cravings to a point where you can enjoy sex, if that is what you want, without being consumed by too much of a good thing.

Your body chemistry is unique. Some of the testosterone altering drugs are powerful and can negative side effects. And several may need to be needed.

High amounts of testosterone can cloud rational thinking and action. Best not to self-administer solutions.

Help is available. Asking for it is the most difficult part of the entire frustrating situation.