Things Not To Say To Police Officers

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Things not to say to police officers

1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

2. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

3. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

4. Are You Andy or Barney?

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.

6. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

7. I pay your salary!

8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

11. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

[Riverwind (imported)]

Or as my oldest sons best friend said,

Cop, 'do you know why I stopped you?'

Friend, 'because your an asshole?'

yep, he got the ticket.

River

[Cainanite (imported)]

When I was in high school, a few friends of mine noticed a police car was following them. They hadn't broken any traffic laws, and hadn't been drinking, or anything like that. The only thing they were guilty of was having too much teenage hormones in their system.

At a stop sign, they decided it would be funny to pretend to hide something in their car. One of them pulled out a sandwich, and they suspiciously passed it from person to person before stashing it under the seat. They did it for a laugh, because they knew they weren't doing anything wrong, and the cops were following them just because they were teenagers.

Of course, the two cops in the police car were watching them pretty closely. When they witnessed the suspicious behavior, they immediately pulled my friends over.

My friends were having a good laugh at the officer's expense, when they arrived at the window, and they showed the officers the sandwich.

The officers didn't find it very funny, and proceeded to handcuff all four of my stupid friends. They got to sit at the side of the road while those two officers dismantled their car, in the middle of traffic.

When they were finished removing the seats, carpet, door liners, and half of the dash, the officers calmly took the cuffs off, thanked them for their co-operation, and left them there to try and put their car back together, without the benefit of the tools that took it apart.

In typical teenage fashion, they tried to assemble the car as best they could (things just kind of held in place), and then drive it to the nearest house to complete the job. (It is hard to bolt down seats without a wrench.) They no sooner drove two blocks, and got pulled over a second time (by two different officers), and were issued a fine for driving with an unsafe vehicle.

Their vehicle was promptly towed away, and they had to walk home.

They had to pay the fine, pay the towing fee, pay the impound fee, AND the one that owned the car had to explain to his parents what had happened.

The moral of the story. Don't fuck with the cops. They don't like it.

[Dave (imported)]

When stopped for speeding and the officer says "Where's the fire?" You should never answer "in your eyes officer, in your eyes" ...

[Arab Nights (imported)]

Let me turn this on its head, what not to say to a motorist.

This story would always get a great laugh when I was working in Venezuela. A bit of translation to set the stage. It is common in South America to refer to Negroes as monos (monkeys). Their children would be the diminuative - monitos.

So there was this general who was Black and a hard charging super competent guy who was at the very top of the Venezuelan army food chain. He was in civies taking his family out on a Sunday drive to the beach and they come up to a check stop manned by soldiers. When they pull up and stopped, one soldier asks where the mono was going with his monitos. The guy said to the beach, pulled out his military ID to show the soldier, told the soldier that he wanted to use the phone and asked the him, "Do you know where you are going?" The soldier blanched into a White man.

(Answer - the most miserable military posting in deepest, darkest bumfuck Venezuela).

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

When stopped for speeding and the officer says "Where's the fire?" You should never answer "in your eyes officer, in your eyes" ...

In my case when the officer said "Do you know I can make it hard for you?" I replied "I didn't know you cared". He was not amused. --FLO--

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

It might be interesting to be the passenger in a car that was just pulled over and the driver being a particular Red Nun in full regalia - heheheheh

[Sweetpickle (imported)]

Annoying highway patrolman to me: "I'm not going to give you a ticket, but none of those people going by know that."

[Losethem (imported)]

Cainanite, I like you, but I'm having trouble believing that story. I don't think the cops would dismantle a car out in public. If they wanted to perform that kind of search with destruction to an innocent civilians private property, they would need to impound the car and serve a warrant. At least here in the US they would or they would be asking for one damn hefty lawsuit for abuse of authority.

--LT

When I was in high school, a few friends of mine noticed a police car was following them. They hadn't broken any traffic laws, and hadn't been drinking, or anything like that. The only thing they were guilty of was having too much teenage hormones in their system.

At a stop sign, they decided it would be funny to pretend to hide something in their car. One of them pulled out a sandwich, and they suspiciously passed it from person to person before stashing it under the seat. They did it for a laugh, because they knew they weren't doing anything wrong, and the cops were following them just because they were teenagers.

Of course, the two cops in the police car were watching them pretty closely. When they witnessed the suspicious behavior, they immediately pulled my friends over.

My friends were having a good laugh at the officer's expense, when they arrived at the window, and they showed the officers the sandwich.

The officers didn't find it very funny, and proceeded to handcuff all four of my stupid friends. They got to sit at the side of the road while those two officers dismantled their car, in the middle of traffic.

When they were finished removing the seats, carpet, door liners, and half of the dash, the officers calmly took the cuffs off, thanked them for their co-operation, and left them there to try and put their car back together, without the benefit of the tools that took it apart.

In typical teenage fashion, they tried to assemble the car as best they could (things just kind of held in place), and then drive it to the nearest house to complete the job. (It is hard to bolt down seats without a wrench.) They no sooner drove two blocks, and got pulled over a second time (by two different officers), and were issued a fine for driving with an unsafe vehicle.

Their vehicle was promptly towed away, and they had to walk home.

They had to pay the fine, pay the towing fee, pay the impound fee, AND the one that owned the car had to explain to his parents what had happened.

The moral of the story. Don't fuck with the cops. They don't like it.

[Cainanite (imported)]

Cainanite, I like you, but I'm having trouble believing that story. I don't think the cops would dismantle a car out in public. If they wanted to perform that kind of search with destruction to an innocent civilians private property, they would need to impound the car and serve a warrant. At least here in the US they would or they would be asking for one damn hefty lawsuit for abuse of authority.

--LT

Two words. Rural Saskatchewan.

Translation: Bumfuck nowhere.

It happened. The guy who's car it was lived just up the street from me. He was hauling some of my friends from a drama club meeting. As a member of that drama club too, I got the story from multiple sources.

In addition, at the time, my father was working as a dispatcher for the local police department, and was friends with the chief of police. Remember this is a small town I grew up in.

The police were allowed to detain the occupants, and search the car, because of reasonable suspicion. They were perfectly within their rights. No warrant required. They didn't immediately impound the car, because it was easier to do it right then and there. I think the officers went a lot further by pulling out the seats and carpets, but they were pissed, and I reiterate, completely within their rights. Nothing was destroyed, just disassembled. There is no law that says the police officers needed to put the car back together again.

When the two officers were leaving, they radioed to another car to keep an eye on my friends. When my stupid friends tried to drive the car without putting it together properly, well now they really were breaking the law. They should have left the car parked until they got the tools to reassemble it properly.

The fine was a couple of hundred bucks, the towing fee was about fifty, and the impound fee wasn't much more. The biggest thing they suffered was the inconvenience and the embarrassment.

In rural Saskatchewan, it was, and remains quite common for police to teach idiots a lesson. Hey, the police need to entertain themselves somehow.

True, it didn't happen to me, but I have no reason not to believe my friends, the chief of police, and my father.

The biggest reason this story sticks with me, is because shortly after this event, my friends started getting rides from me, instead of my neighbor from up the street.