The Migraines and the Tailor

[C&TL2745 (imported)]

My hubby told me a joke that had me in stitches. It's an old one, he said, but it was new to me, so maybe there are others who haven't heard it. If you're offended by jokes about castration, I apologize. In that case, please stop reading.

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A guy is talking to his doctor about his migraine headaches. The doctor tells him that all the tests they've run have come back negative. "The only thing left is a problem with your testicles. It looks as if they're causing the headaches, and if you want them to stop, I'm afraid you'll need to have them removed."

"Castration?!" the guy says. "Hell no!" But just then he's seized by a really violent headache. Reduce to tears, he says, "Okay, okay. The headaches are just too much to endure."

The doctor tells him he's the last patient of the day, and he can perform the operation right there in the office if he wants. The guy agrees, and the job is done.

A month later, the guy is back for a post-op checkup. The doctor asks how he's doing.

"Well, the headaches are gone, and that's wonderful," he says, "but now I'm dealing with depression. I can't satisfy my wife, and she's been spending a lot of time with a guy she met at the health spa. I'm just feeling negative about everything."

"That's not unusual," the doctor says. "Tell you what. Go have a really nice suit made for you and take your wife on a cruise. I know a new suit lifts my spirits, and the cruise will get your wife away from that other guy." The doctor digs into his desk drawer and pulls out a business card and hands it to the guy. "This is the best tailor in the state, bar none. He'll make you a wonderful suit, and his prices are very reasonable."

So the guy goes to the tailor. The tailor asks about color and fabric, but he takes no measurements, which the guy finds annoying. "I want the suit to fit perfectly," he says. "It's very important to me."

The tailor looks at him condescendingly. "I've been in the business for 40 years," he says. "I can tell just by looking at you. Forty-inch waist, 31-inch inseam. It's a no-brainer."

"Well, if you're so smart," the guy says, "what size Jockey shorts do I wear?"

The tailor says, "Forty-inch waist."

"See, you'd have screwed up the suit," the guy says. "I wear size 36."

The tailor laughs, then regaining composure, says, "If you wore size 36, it would pull your balls up so tight you'd have migraine headaches."

[Riverwind (imported)]

Yes an old one, I think Buddy Hackett was the first one I herd it from or a variation of but still good. Like the one he told about the gnarled dick.

River

[punkypink (imported)]

There's a version of this somewhere in the fiction archives themselves too isn't there?