I need serious information, please help.

[silver02 (imported)]

Hello people, i just joined and this is my first post. Depending on what i'm gonna read in this thread, my life might change and i might be a permanent member.

Here's my deal :

I'm a 22 year old male, and i've been having some unpleasant issues with my sexual identity which my family are unaware of. I have a very strong religious side, which noone knows about and receiving professional help doesn't and will not work for me (as i've tried it for 3 months or so).

Although i'm one pretty good looking male, I never had a sexual life till now, and i don't think i will ever have one if i know myself. I'm just sick of masturbating on my own and i don't even want to talk to the opposite sex in real life. I just hate myself after orgasms and i'm starting to lose my self esteem. Sometimes i do pretty stupid things and i ruin my own life as a person. I also have this strong feeling of being watched and i really wanna dissapear sometimes. I can't take it any more and i want to take control of my life.

What i want : i don't want to be a sexual being. I've searched the whole internet and apparently castration seems like the sanest solution to my problems. Now i'm gonna do this, as i've decided but i have a couple of questions which need serious answers from experienced people.

1. Will castration be enough to completely eliminate my sexual identity ?

2. Will it change my body ? (<-- i really really don't want this, i just wanna be a normal male looking person with a male voice, without a sex drive and sexual thoughts)

3. If castration ain't enough for these, do i have to add penectomy to that ? And how would i be able to urinate ?

4. After i do castration (maybe along with penectomy) will i always feel the after-orgasm relaxation, every second in my life, or will i just feel normal, just without the ability to orgasm? (- i don't want that. i don't want any kind of lust, what would be the point ??)

And what can you generally tell me ?

Your answers will be much much appreciated, as i'm planning to do this real soon. Thanks in advance.

[Dave (imported)]

Castration is a drastic step and is very permanent. It can never be reversed.

First off, professional help doesn't work if you aren't truthful.

"

I have a very strong religious side, which noone knows about and receiving professional help doesn't and will not work for me (as i've tried it for 3 months or so).

"

second, almost every guy gets tired of masturbation and wants companionship during sex. It's a perfectly normal feeling.

Third: You do stupid things and you are only twenty two. Welcome to the club. Most men don't realize they are doing stupid things until they are well into their twenties and some never grow up and can still be found doing stupid things at 60 and 70. So you aren't all that strange or unusual. Take some comfort in that.

4) Losing your sex drive will give you a chance to get your life under control. I disagree. I''ve seen too many teen and twenty-somethings without a sex drive doing equally stupid things.

You just discovered a great secret in life -- you are the captain of your own ship and the master of your destiny (what lovely platitudes that turn out to be so true.) If you don't like what you are doing, stop doing it. IT's not easy to do but it does work.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Lust is a state of mind, its not what is between your legs that's the problem its what is between your ears. Man is by nature a sexual being, being religious will not change that nor should it. In life there must be a balance, a balance with your sexuality and your religion, cutting off your balls because its interfering with your religious life is not what you want to do, this was never gods plan any god. I know this is not what you wanted to hear but masturbation is not a sin, it can be health at times. I would hate to see your do something a final as castration only to find a few years down the road somebody that you want to be with and be rejected because you have had them removed. I also sense from your post that you think you are gay? There is nothing wrong with that, it is not a sin like some religious people insist. If you are know this you were born that way. I think there are a lot of things you are dealing with and the first thing you must do as the previous post said, you must be honest with yourself first. Then you can be honest with your therapist, three months is nothing it took me almost 5 years to sort it all out. You are 22, you have your whole life ahead of you, don't do something you might regret. Stick with the therapy, be honest with your doctor and yourself only then will you be able to figure this all out and if the time comes that castration is the right thing for you we will still be here and help you on your way and be here for you after, until then we will just be here for you.

Welcome to the archive,

River

[juststeve (imported)]

you should hold on until you are certain castration is what will help you. once you are certain then check out all possible avenues before you decide on being cut. only pursue castration after you have explored all other solutions. once you are castrated you cant go back so be sure about it, maybe try chemical castration as an alternative before you make a decision

[Paolo]

Lust is a state of mind, its not what is between your legs that's the problem its what is between your ears.

You left yourself WIDE open on that one, pal!

[Cainanite (imported)]

silver02

It seems like you are fighting a battle between your religious nature, and your natural state of being a sexual being.

I define myself as asexual. Sex isn't a big thing for me. Don't much care for it. That being said, I am an extremely romantic person. Romance and love mean a great deal to me. Physicality is a way of expressing that.

Though I am not religious in any way, I come from a religious family, and understand how much religion forces us to be at odds with our bodies. I know this.

Here is the truth. God does not want you to hate yourself for what you are. He made you, and he loves you.

No god worth worshiping should make you feel doomed to hell for simply being human. Your body is not sinful. The story of Adam and Eve speaks to this. God wanted Adam and Eve to remain in the Garden. He wanted them to enjoy themselves for who they were. They were naked in the Garden, and basking in God's love. They were natural beings free from shame about who they were.

It was the snake that tricked them into eating the forbidden fruit. Full of knowledge, they suddenly felt shame for the first time. Shame was not what God wanted for the human race. God did not want his creations to live lives fighting their own nature because they were confused by the knowledge and all the conflicting messages. He wanted them to live as they were created. Natural, at one with their bodies, their desires, and their God.

It is no mistake that the story of Adam and Eve is the first human story of the Bible. It should not be undone by what comes after. The message is clear. God does not want us to be at odds with our bodies, or our world. He doesn't want knowledge (Neither religious, nor scientific knowledge -- which can be flawed.) to get in the way of what is in our hearts.

The truest sin is to disobey how God made us. That is why Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden. Not just because they disobeyed God, but because they allowed the knowledge to cause them to feel shame for what they were. For the first time, they were ashamed in His sight, and hid their bodies.

If you truly wish to be a eunuch, nothing we say here will stop you. All I ask, is that you try to love yourself, the way God created you, before you choose a path that is irreversible. Perhaps God wants you to embark on a future as a eunuch. That may be what he wishes for you. But know this;

Shame does not come from God, it comes from the knowledge we stole, and our misinterpretations of it. God will not lead you through shame. He will lead you through love.

God is love, not shame.

[SplitDik (imported)]

Okay, I have to jump in here. I'd categorize your problem as sex addiction actually, which is what I have suffered from. Addiction is anything you compulsively do that you regret and that otherwise adversely affects your life or your goals. With sex addiction I find that it manifests as feeling really bad after orgasm, which is usually a combination of actual physical feelings, logical regrets that you succumbed and didn't have control, and mental biochemical effects (orgasm releases prolactin which affects dopamine which cause real effects on mood).

Because you feel bad after orgasm, you (like I) automatically conclude that if we stop orgasming (usually meaning stopping masturbation) that all will be well. However, there are problems with this approach, which I will outline shortly.

What we don't realize is that is is possible to eliminate the bad feelings after orgasm by training them into good feelings. It takes a lot of work, but ultimately is a better path.

First let me explain what is the problem with eliminating sexuality. Sexual urges are tightly coupled to hormonal levels and those are very inter-mingled with other biological functions in the body. For example, if you don't have any sex hormones at all (no testosterone or estrogen) your bones won't grow properly and you'll get osteoporosis, and your brain won't work quite right and you'll get depression, loss of energy, loss of strength, gaining weight, sad mood swings, and your body won't regulate perspiration properly and you'll get hot flashes and cold sweats.

A specific problem eliminating sexuality for religious reasons is that it doesn't make logical sense -- if God created you that way then He doesn't want you to go chopping off body parts, rather it is some sort of test and castration would be cheating. It makes more sense that God wants you to either integrate your sexuality. It is a burden you're supposed to bear.

For me the big breakthrough was to learn to experience masturbation as a good thing. When I was young I felt it was a cop-out (meaning a person shouldn't masturbate because it meant he wasn't successful in getting real pussy), it was embarrassing (it is a secretive act), it felt like I had no control (since I was trying to resist it and would eventually give in), and then there was a real biochemical let-down feeling (note that this is medically called "post coital depression" and affects a lot of people). You have to tackle each of these aspects and redirect them. You have to turn masturbation into a tool that you use to control the sexual pressure that builds inside you. When masturbation becomes a tool, it is then you controlling the sexual urges rather than the urges controlling you.

To address the first issue (that masturbation is a cop-out meaning you failed to get real sex) you have to really realize that even guys with wives and girlfriends need to masturbate because guys are just that horny. I used to masturbate a dozen times a day, and even the horniest girlfriend will only go twice a day on a regular basis. So girlfriend or not, masturbation is not a cop out. It is a normal release of the intense sexual pressure that guys are supposed to feel.

To address the second issue (that it is embarrassing and secretive), you have to really realize that pretty much every healthy person is masturbating almost daily. To get over this, I would literally remind myself all day to look around at everyone and think "they masturbated today". It is kinda silly, but it works. Your dad masturbates, your mom masturbates, your boss masturbates, Obama masturbates, Palin masturbates, your doctor masturbates, the girl serving you coffee masturbates (maybe while thinking about you...)

To address the third issue (that I had no control), I turned masturbation around. I made it a tool that I was in control of. Instead of resisting masturbation until I gave in (which made me feel like it was controlling me), I started a program where I planned to masturbate at set times. That simple act of planning it put me in control. Later on I was able to get less formal about it, and would just acknowledge that I would masturbate any time I felt like it (wouldn't resist it). This works really well.

To address the fourth issue (post coital depression feeling), it starts with solving all the above issues because that erases all the guilt, anxiety, and regret feelings. But there is still a real prolactin-dopamine response. What is interesting is that many people say they like the relaxed feeling after sex, but people like you and I don't feel it as "relaxed" but rather as "drained". This is similar to how a person who is a thrill-seeker will say they feel "excitement" doing the same thing that other people feel as "fear". A good analogy is stage fright -- did you know that famous actors and singers still get shaky before big shows? But they convert the fear feeling into a positive "rush" feeling. So with masturbation you have to turn the "drained/weak" feeling into a "relaxed/satisfied" feeling. Another thing is to reduce the frequency of masturbation a bit -- you will feel a lot less drained if you don't overdo it. This really just requires re-training of your perceptions. And it is quite possible. The Taoists (who are are very big into being natural) have a saying that when you are in your teens you should only orgasm once daily, in your twenties orgasm once every two days, in your thirties once every three days, etc. That will be often enough to keep the urges from going totally crazy, but will be enough space in between where the orgasm is really ready and won't be forced. However, this is also one area where medication may help -- specifically SSRI anti-depressants.

Actually, SSRI anti-depressants may help you in other ways as well. They can lower the libido for many people who take them, and are also well known to reduce any sort of compulsivity.

Anyway, your situation is very common among people who are more sexual than they feel comfortable with. My suggestion is not to eliminate the sexuality, but rather get comfortable with it. I personally believe that God would consider it cheating to go hacking off your balls to be spiritual -- I believe that spirituality means exploring the way He made you and figuring out how to bear the unique burdens He placed on each of us. But up to you on whether your beliefs are different.

Hope this helps.

[Hash (imported)]

Maybe it would help you to know that I've been there and so have most men. The sexual urge is so compelling and at times overwhelming that it's near impossible to control. I think most women, if they really knew how much time men spent thinking about sex and engaging in sexual things, would label us all sexual addicts. I've read that men in general have a sexual thought every seven minutes! Every year, thousands of married men engage in extra-martial affairs, spend hundreds on porn, and masturbate daily, most masturbate several times a day. Women will never understand, yes, a lot of women also struggle with sexual urges, but not like men. Controlling the sexual urge or desire is difficult to do as you know and as we know. You are not alone in your struggle. Even from a religious perspective, one can feel terribly torn between doing what you believe God wants you to do and what you can't control. The Apostle Paul struggled with this, read Romans 7 in the Bible. The things he hated, the things he didn't want to do, those are the things he did. Some early Christian teachers actually did castrate themselves, Origin being one of them.

Now though I agree with splitdick, it's not easy to control your sexual desires. I'm "religious" too, one minute I'd be so sexually engaged, masturbating, and then, as soon as I'd orgasm, I'd feel so utterly guilty and ashamed that I'd want to die. Eventually I couldn't take it, I struggled and succumbed to castration. Maybe I just couldn't control myself any longer and being castrated has made controlling my sexual urges easier, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do, and maybe not for you. I was 48 when I was finally castrated, I had children. I think you're just too young. You need to fight as long as you can. Don't give up! As some have said, castration is a life changing experience. Once your testicles are gone, they are gone forever. Don't rush into this, ask God to help you control your desires, and see a sex counselor or psychologist. You will feel freed by opening up to another.

Splitdick said: "

A specific problem eliminating sexuality for religious reasons is that it doesn't make logical sense -- if God created you that way then He doesn't want you to go chopping off body parts, rather it is some sort of test and castration would be cheating. It makes more sense that God wants you to either integrate your sexuality. It is a burden you're supposed to bear.

"

[_g (imported)]

Hello people, i just joined and this is my first post. Depending on what i'm gonna read in this thread, my life might change and i might be a permanent member.

Here's my deal :

I'm a 22 year old male, and i've been having some unpleasant issues with my sexual identity which my family are unaware of. I have a very strong religious side, which noone knows about and receiving professional help doesn't and will not work for me (as i've tried it for 3 months or so).

Although i'm one pretty good looking male, I never had a sexual life till now, and i don't think i will ever have one if i know myself. I'm just sick of masturbating on my own and i don't even want to talk to the opposite sex in real life. I just hate myself after orgasms and i'm starting to lose my self esteem. Sometimes i do pretty stupid things and i ruin my own life as a person. I also have this strong feeling of being watched and i really wanna dissapear sometimes. I can't take it any more and i want to take control of my life.

What i want : i don't want to be a sexual being. I've searched the whole internet and apparently castration seems like the sanest solution to my problems. Now i'm gonna do this, as i've decided but i have a couple of questions which need serious answers from experienced people.

1. Will castration be enough to completely eliminate my sexual identity ?

2. Will it change my body ? (<-- i really really don't want this, i just wanna be a normal male looking person with a male voice, without a sex drive and sexual thoughts)

3. If castration ain't enough for these, do i have to add penectomy to that ? And how would i be able to urinate ?

4. After i do castration (maybe along with penectomy) will i always feel the after-orgasm relaxation, every second in my life, or will i just feel normal, just without the ability to orgasm? (- i don't want that. i don't want any kind of lust, what would be the point ??)

And what can you generally tell me ?

Your answers will be much much appreciated, as i'm planning to do this real soon. Thanks in advance.

First Castration once done you will be infertile, and without taking HRT or Estrogen blockers, breast growth and femization will happen and it varies greatly person to person.

Second taking anti-androgen drugs, you will also have to take Estrogen blockers to prevent femization. Also depending on the length of time taken, the anti-androgen drugs can cause infertility, and hypogonadism (these effects depend on the person and the time peroid can be as small as 6 months, average > 1 year).

As far as Penectomy, it will not keep you from masturbating and having orgasms with or without a castration.

The ability to have orgasms is not tied to your penis.

You need to get consoling form a person that you can relate to, so you should go shopping.

[graylayer02 (imported)]

Hello people, i just joined and this is my first post. Depending on what i'm gonna read in this thread, my life might change and i might be a permanent member.

Here's my deal :

I'm a 22 year old male, and i've been having some unpleasant issues with my sexual identity which my family are unaware of. I have a very strong religious side, which noone knows about and receiving professional help doesn't and will not work for me (as i've tried it for 3 months or so).

Although i'm one pretty good looking male, I never had a sexual life till now, and i don't think i will ever have one if i know myself. I'm just sick of masturbating on my own and i don't even want to talk to the opposite sex in real life. I just hate myself after orgasms and i'm starting to lose my self esteem. Sometimes i do pretty stupid things and i ruin my own life as a person. I also have this strong feeling of being watched and i really wanna dissapear sometimes. I can't take it any more and i want to take control of my life.

What i want : i don't want to be a sexual being. I've searched the whole internet and apparently castration seems like the sanest solution to my problems. Now i'm gonna do this, as i've decided but i have a couple of questions which need serious answers from experienced people.

1. Will castration be enough to completely eliminate my sexual identity ?

2. Will it change my body ? (<-- i really really don't want this, i just wanna be a normal male looking person with a male voice, without a sex drive and sexual thoughts)

3. If castration ain't enough for these, do i have to add penectomy to that ? And how would i be able to urinate ?

4. After i do castration (maybe along with penectomy) will i always feel the after-orgasm relaxation, every second in my life, or will i just feel normal, just without the ability to orgasm? (- i don't want that. i don't want any kind of lust, what would be the point ??)

And what can you generally tell me ?

Your answers will be much much appreciated, as i'm planning to do this real soon. Thanks in advance.

I don't think that the problem is with you; I think that the problem might be more with your religious side, whatever that might imply. (can you elaborate?)

It sounds like you don't want the effects of castration, but you're unhappy about something. If you're a sexual being now, you'll always be a sexual being, and it's best to channel it in a good direction rather than in a bad direction.