2010 DARWIN AWARDS
Eighth Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
after squeezing head through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at the hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers, and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. On seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 spent cartridges in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. So they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said he knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. At least ten men went along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Reaching the midpoint of the bridge, they noticed that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and tied the other to the bridge. He fell 40 feet before the
cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER IS....
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt, (Paderborn, Germany), fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephants unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... "Shit happens."
IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES
FROM THE GENE POOL.
2010 Darwin Awards
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bobover3 (imported)
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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards
I was hoping for new Darwin Awards as I find them sad but funny. Checking out Similar Threads below Studlover listed some of these in the 2006 Darwin Awards. Fun to reread but somewhere people are not receiving the final recognition they deserve.
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Caith721 (imported)
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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards
This year's Darwin Award nominees are listed at this WEB URL (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010.html). The current top five nominees are linked and described below.
Wheelchair Access (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-08.html)
(25 August 2010, Daejon, South Korea) VIDEO NEWS: A handicapped man, annoyed that an elevator closed and departed without him, thinks it over before ramming his wheelchair into the doors not once, not twice, but three times in all--only to plunge down the now-empty elevator shaft to his death. Simultaneous success and failure combine to earn the 40-year-old lasting immortality as a Darwin Award winner. The tragic downfall of this rashly rushing rammer provides a heartening example of how brilliant you are--compared to some! However, natural selection just got a little harder. The authorities traced the "problem" to elevator doors that cannot withstand a large impact. Safety regulations were strengthened three years after the elevator was installed, to prevent accidents "such as might happen to children and drunks."
Textbook Double Double Darwin Award (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-06.html)
Who would park the car on a busy freeway in heavy fog, for a quickie?
Picture this: A young couple driving on Via Dutra, the major freeway in Brazil with tons of heavy traffic, at 6AM under heavy fog the couple decided to park the car for "dating," according to the charming Google translation. And yes, they parked in the right lane of freeway, not on the shoulder or at a gas station -- and naturally, a huge cargo truck comes by and runs right over the car, immediately killing both inside during the act. Double Double Darwin! Two (2) people making two obviously stupid decisions, and natural selection acts at the very moment the two are reproducing . . . Textbook Darwin Award.
Glacier Erasure (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-04.html)
Another account from the archives of a 30-year ER MD.
In the late fall and early winter months, snow-covered mountains become infested with hunters. One ambitious pair climbed high up a mountain in search of their quarry. The trail crossed a small glacier that had crusted over. The lead hunter had to stomp a foot-hold in the snow, one step at a time, in order to cross the glacier.
Somewhere near the middle of the glacier, his next stomp hit not snow but a rock. The lead hunter lost his footing and fell. Down the crusty glacier he zipped, off the edge and out of sight.
Unable to help, his companion watched him slide away. After a while, he shouted out, "Are you OK?"
"Yes!" came the answer.
Reasoning that it was a quick way off the glacier, the second hunter plopped down and accelerated down the ice, following his friend. There, just over the edge of the glacier, was his friend...holding onto the top of a tree that barely protruded from the snow.
There were no other treetops nearby, nothing to grab, nothing but a hundred-foot drop onto the rocks below. As the second hunter shot past the first, he uttered his final epitaph: a single word, which we may not utter lest our mothers soap our mouths.
The Burdens Of Our Fathers (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-05.html)
(April 2010, Romania) A thirty-five-year-old man from Braila was only trying to fix a broken soil tamper, a tool his father had made himself and used for decades. The metal handle of this family heirloom had rusted loose and our man was trying to weld it back into position, but unfortunately he was welding the metal rod onto an antique WWII cannon shell.
Yes, the family had been banging a cannon shell against the garden dirt for two generations! Specialists from the Bucharest ISU (General Institute for Emergency Situations) stated that the first weld had been made in a harmless position, but the second weld was made in exactly the wrong spot. The heat triggered the shell to explode, mortally wounding the man. In his defense, he was sure the projectile was harmless because his father had used it to compact earth for almost 40 years. If one generation doesn't get it right, the next does.
Barrel Ride, With Flames (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-07.html)
(19 July 2010, Washington) Two out-of-town race car crew were at a machine shop that builds and services race cars, when they dreamed up an unusual thrill ride. Fire Chief Dean Klinger reported that on Sunday evening, the men poured four gallons of methanol into a 55-gallon barrel in the parking lot, sat on top of the barrel, and lit it.
The men were in the town of Sedro-Woolley (pop. 10,000) to participate in the American Sprint Car Series at Skagit Raceway. Apparently they thought the barrel would slide across the parking lot like a rocket sled, with a tail of flame shooting out, and two rodeo clowns sitting on top, waving their caps and hooting. But instead of sliding across the pavement, the barrel blew up beneath them. Who woulda thunk that 4 gallons of methanol inside a 55-gallon drum would be a bomb?
The explosion was so powerful that one end of the barrel landed 120 feet away from the blast site. The two Sparks* landed in Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.
Racing folks are smart people with a high degree of mechanical ability. The work is risky, but this was not a random "shop accident." Rather, it was a dangerous and ill-conceived stunt by two bored men who were hoping to find some fun in the small town of Sedro-Woolley. Instead of fun, one man lost his life, and a second survived with a sober lesson on the power of combustion.
Ride 'Em Cowgirl (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-09.html)
(14 August 2010, Kentucky) Kelita H. was travelling "at highway speed" in her Chevy, cruising down Country Road 519 with the wind blowing through her hair, when she and her passenger decided to swap seats. In this situation, a less hasty person would stop the car for a "Chinese fire drill" but Kelita was a little more creative than that. Fortunately, you see, her car had an open T-Top. She stood up, pulled herself onto the roof, and she fell. And then Kelita was travelling solo "at highway speed" down that country road.
The Fayette County Coroner's Office reported that the 20-year-old died from injuries sustained while impacting a guardrail. On the way down, her foot hit the steering wheel and the car veered left--but the passenger, who was still inside the vehicle, grabbed the wheel and averted his own possible demise, thereby demonstrating the wisdom of learning from the mistakes of others. That passenger, by the way, easily earns an Honorable Mention himself, as he was arrested and charged with driving on a suspended license with improper registration and no insurance. There are several lessons to learn here.
Wheelchair Access (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-08.html)
(25 August 2010, Daejon, South Korea) VIDEO NEWS: A handicapped man, annoyed that an elevator closed and departed without him, thinks it over before ramming his wheelchair into the doors not once, not twice, but three times in all--only to plunge down the now-empty elevator shaft to his death. Simultaneous success and failure combine to earn the 40-year-old lasting immortality as a Darwin Award winner. The tragic downfall of this rashly rushing rammer provides a heartening example of how brilliant you are--compared to some! However, natural selection just got a little harder. The authorities traced the "problem" to elevator doors that cannot withstand a large impact. Safety regulations were strengthened three years after the elevator was installed, to prevent accidents "such as might happen to children and drunks."
Textbook Double Double Darwin Award (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-06.html)
Who would park the car on a busy freeway in heavy fog, for a quickie?
Picture this: A young couple driving on Via Dutra, the major freeway in Brazil with tons of heavy traffic, at 6AM under heavy fog the couple decided to park the car for "dating," according to the charming Google translation. And yes, they parked in the right lane of freeway, not on the shoulder or at a gas station -- and naturally, a huge cargo truck comes by and runs right over the car, immediately killing both inside during the act. Double Double Darwin! Two (2) people making two obviously stupid decisions, and natural selection acts at the very moment the two are reproducing . . . Textbook Darwin Award.
Glacier Erasure (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-04.html)
Another account from the archives of a 30-year ER MD.
In the late fall and early winter months, snow-covered mountains become infested with hunters. One ambitious pair climbed high up a mountain in search of their quarry. The trail crossed a small glacier that had crusted over. The lead hunter had to stomp a foot-hold in the snow, one step at a time, in order to cross the glacier.
Somewhere near the middle of the glacier, his next stomp hit not snow but a rock. The lead hunter lost his footing and fell. Down the crusty glacier he zipped, off the edge and out of sight.
Unable to help, his companion watched him slide away. After a while, he shouted out, "Are you OK?"
"Yes!" came the answer.
Reasoning that it was a quick way off the glacier, the second hunter plopped down and accelerated down the ice, following his friend. There, just over the edge of the glacier, was his friend...holding onto the top of a tree that barely protruded from the snow.
There were no other treetops nearby, nothing to grab, nothing but a hundred-foot drop onto the rocks below. As the second hunter shot past the first, he uttered his final epitaph: a single word, which we may not utter lest our mothers soap our mouths.
The Burdens Of Our Fathers (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-05.html)
(April 2010, Romania) A thirty-five-year-old man from Braila was only trying to fix a broken soil tamper, a tool his father had made himself and used for decades. The metal handle of this family heirloom had rusted loose and our man was trying to weld it back into position, but unfortunately he was welding the metal rod onto an antique WWII cannon shell.
Yes, the family had been banging a cannon shell against the garden dirt for two generations! Specialists from the Bucharest ISU (General Institute for Emergency Situations) stated that the first weld had been made in a harmless position, but the second weld was made in exactly the wrong spot. The heat triggered the shell to explode, mortally wounding the man. In his defense, he was sure the projectile was harmless because his father had used it to compact earth for almost 40 years. If one generation doesn't get it right, the next does.
Barrel Ride, With Flames (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-07.html)
(19 July 2010, Washington) Two out-of-town race car crew were at a machine shop that builds and services race cars, when they dreamed up an unusual thrill ride. Fire Chief Dean Klinger reported that on Sunday evening, the men poured four gallons of methanol into a 55-gallon barrel in the parking lot, sat on top of the barrel, and lit it.
The men were in the town of Sedro-Woolley (pop. 10,000) to participate in the American Sprint Car Series at Skagit Raceway. Apparently they thought the barrel would slide across the parking lot like a rocket sled, with a tail of flame shooting out, and two rodeo clowns sitting on top, waving their caps and hooting. But instead of sliding across the pavement, the barrel blew up beneath them. Who woulda thunk that 4 gallons of methanol inside a 55-gallon drum would be a bomb?
The explosion was so powerful that one end of the barrel landed 120 feet away from the blast site. The two Sparks* landed in Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.
Racing folks are smart people with a high degree of mechanical ability. The work is risky, but this was not a random "shop accident." Rather, it was a dangerous and ill-conceived stunt by two bored men who were hoping to find some fun in the small town of Sedro-Woolley. Instead of fun, one man lost his life, and a second survived with a sober lesson on the power of combustion.
Ride 'Em Cowgirl (http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-09.html)
(14 August 2010, Kentucky) Kelita H. was travelling "at highway speed" in her Chevy, cruising down Country Road 519 with the wind blowing through her hair, when she and her passenger decided to swap seats. In this situation, a less hasty person would stop the car for a "Chinese fire drill" but Kelita was a little more creative than that. Fortunately, you see, her car had an open T-Top. She stood up, pulled herself onto the roof, and she fell. And then Kelita was travelling solo "at highway speed" down that country road.
The Fayette County Coroner's Office reported that the 20-year-old died from injuries sustained while impacting a guardrail. On the way down, her foot hit the steering wheel and the car veered left--but the passenger, who was still inside the vehicle, grabbed the wheel and averted his own possible demise, thereby demonstrating the wisdom of learning from the mistakes of others. That passenger, by the way, easily earns an Honorable Mention himself, as he was arrested and charged with driving on a suspended license with improper registration and no insurance. There are several lessons to learn here.
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jemagirl (imported)
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