Fear Is Still Winning In Our World - For Now

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

Despite joining the EA some months ago I've only recently twigged that most people on the EA do not post under their own name. So while these message boards have already done a great deal to help many people with many important issues, the fact remains that there is still a long way to go before people can feel entirely comfortable being totally themselves - around others.

Hopefully one day - with the excellent help of the EA - we can get there.

Tolerance is of course a major issue in our world.

Why does it matter to another if someone is castrated?

Why does it matter to another if someone wants to be castrated?

Why does it matter to another if someone is considering castration?

Why does it matter to another if someone is conversing with someone who relates to the three questions above?

Perhaps it could be why should it matter?

I must admit that I didn't really think much about it when I began to post under my own name (and any possible ramifications) on the EA. I was going through a phase of thinking that it should not matter what others think of me (so long as what I am doing is not a logical negative on them). But of course humanity doesn't generally work like that.

Still, I think it's a great goal to strive towards.

I have been trying to get full time work in the past three months or so without any success. I'm no rocket scientist, but I do have enough previous experience for the basic office administration jobs that I'm applying for to get something, and I've had some good interviews. A couple of them have never even replied back. One insisted at the interview that they took pride in letting all the applicants know once they'd decided, and that I'd definitely receive a call back. Another did not say that, but I thought the interview was very promising anyway. Since googling gregrowlerson provides links to the EA, I was wondering if this might be proving to be a negative in my attempts to return to work (it may not be and could be varying other issues) in Australia.

I do not blame the EA! I think it provides a great community of support and information for many different people. I'm just a bit disappointed at the realisation that maybe our society has got a lot further to go in regards to tolerance than what I'd naively thought.

[Losethem (imported)]

We should all be able to post using our real names, but the reality is that others often make decisions based on what they find online. With my friends and close associates I am honest about who I am, but since the EA is a global forum, I'm not going to use my actual name on it.

There are plenty of places online where one can find me under my real name, but with anything eunuch related I do use a pseudonym. Only those that I've come to know and trust know my true identity when it comes to this subject.

The other main reason I have never used my actual name here, or started a Facebook account, etc. is that potential employers DO look up your name online, and if they see something like this, they are going to head for the hills and hire someone else.

I've heard of cases where an employer sees a photo of you at a party with a cocktail in your hand, they think you're a drunk and won't hire you. Unfair, since 9 out of 10 times you're simply enjoying a single drink. Sadly in the modern era, employers think they have the right to dictate how you will behave in the off hours. Truth is, they don't. However if you put anything out there on the web for them to find, they will hold it against you even though you did the activity on your free time - for example, visit the eunuch archive.

Yes it's unfair, but you have to police yourself online while enjoying yourself offline.

--LT

Another did not say that, but I thought the interview was very promising anyway. Since googling gregrowlerson provides links to the EA, I was wondering if this might be proving to be a negative in my attempts to return to work (it may not be and could be varying other issues) in Australia.

[plix (imported)]

I think you will find that the preference to avoid use of your real name applies to just about any online forum rather than just the EA. However, there are certainly special considerations when it comes to posting here due to the way a man who would want to live without his testicles is perceived by society.

My real name is pretty common and is most likely shared by thousands in the US. However, I do not feel particularly inclined to use it here. Also, I do not use my real name on any online forum I have ever belonged to.

Now, if someone who knows me in real life found me here, my first question for that person would be "What were you doing there?"

I have only told people who are very close to me about my eunuch status (excluding professionals of course). Such people include some family members and a few close friends. The main reason I do not tell everyone who knows me is I have concerns over how most people would react to a eunuch period, let alone someone who voluntarily made such a decision.

It is definitely true that employers are looking up potential employees online. It is a good idea to keep separate from your professional life anything that could reflect negatively on you. While it is unfair, your eunuch status or desire to become a eunuch is most likely one of those things you will want to separate.

I would agree that it would be nice for more people to accept eunuchs. However, the problem is that some people do not even know that voluntary eunuchs exist. I certainly did not know before I stumbled upon this site. Until people know that there are many people out there with this desire or who are already living this way, they will treat every eunuch or potential eunuch they come across as the only person who has ever wanted something that far from the ordinary.

[Dave (imported)]

I used to work for the Feds. They would have reason to fire me for some of my stories on my website. So now that I retired, everyone knews me as Dave for ten years and I couldn't see a reason to confuse everyone with a change.

What you see in my posts as Dave you see in me in real life.

[Conscientious (imported)]

I don't use my name anywhere on the internet either. The fact that employers can research your private life is a scary violation of a person's right to privacy. Big brother is watching.

I don't quite understand why your genitals are anybody's business but I can relate to the need for awareness. The fact that people have to resort to mutilating themselves says it really needs to be classified as a genuine condition and taken seriously. Other than that I don't personally think anyone really needs to know what you have in your trousers. There are androgynous people who don't identify as either gender. They refer to one another as 'zhi' instead of male or female pronouns. There is very little awareness about their condition too. Can being a voluntary eunuch be similar in that it's like an alternate gender with a need to be recognised as a eunuch?

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

You never know - it could even work in my favour. Maybe an employer with an afiliation with the EA will hire me because I'm a part of this community!

But I realise that this is unlikely. So here is perhaps the reference on myself that I should send out to the entire world to appease as many people as possible.

Hello to all the fellas and shielas out there. Just thought I should tell you a thing or two about meself. Sorry if my writing ain't much good. I don't do much writing. That's more of a female thing I reckon. Anyway, I'm more of a hands on guy myself. I love me beer, and me footy, and me motor sport. And I love women too. Yeah, don't we all!

I'm a bachelor and love the single life. Boy do me and me boys get up to some mischief! I'm never happier then when I'm cooking some meat on the barbie, chatting to a few good mates, and having a few beers. Maybe I'll get myself a shiela one day. But that ain't something I concern myself about.

My footy team consumes me. When they next win it all me and me mates are all getting a tattoo to celebrate the occasion. My vehicle is also a great source of pride for me. I've got a Holden ute that goes alright. Crusing along in it is made even sweeter when I'm listening to ACDC or Nirvana or Kings Of Leon. Real rock you know. None of that Miley or Britney stuff.

Just an attempt at some humour!

Thank you to everyone for your responses to my thread. The main thing that I should stress is that I do not think that it is bad that others are not posting under their real name. I think it is totally understandable AND sensible. I have not helped myself much in the past few years. I just got to a point where I thought, stuff this, I'm going to just be out there as myself and why should it matter? It's really been quite an ego thing for me I think to post as myself. I guess I just get really annoyed that there is too much fakeness in human society and that people are too easily offended by truth. There's also the fact that some people can get away with displaying more truth then others because of who they are.

It hasn't been a particularly brave act to post under my own name - more a stupid one. In person I'm not particularly courageous at all. In fact none of my male friends know of some of these thoughts that I've had, though I could tell a couple and they wouldn't be too offended - I just don't want to bombard them with my issues.

My parents and brother know about most things and they are a wonderful support to me.

I like the quote head for the hills!

Being that I'm in Australia, I think it would benefit me to have a photo online of me drinking since we have a big drinking culture. Maybe if there is one of me passed out they will say; "Hire this man!"

It's a good point that most people do not

know that voluntary eunuchs exist. I

t was in June last year when I first had the thought/desire to do something about removing my sex drive, but I'd never known of anyone who had done anything like that. I was informed of the EA by my doctor early this year.

I do not see it as a problem with interaction on this site that members post under different names. I am annoyed sometimes about the lack of truth in the world, but that is one of the great things about the EA. TOTALLY honest accounts of peoples lives and their opinions and desires. The discussions on here go a lot further then just analysing the weather and petrol prices (no offence intended to anyone who finds those topics enthralling).

Being a voluntary eunuch is different from someone who is born a eunuch I suppose. And then there is another different group which is men who have been forced into castration because of disease.

Logically there shouldn't even need to be any awareness of zhi people. The understanding is that they were born like that!

[Riverwind (imported)]

I think the reason we don't use our real names is a privacy issue, self preservation. I don't think my next door neighbor or the guy down the street has any need to know my private life.

On the other hand my family and friends are totally aware of me being a eunuch and why. Hell some of my kids have attended the MOM events and enjoy chatting with members as much as I do and look forward to the next one.

Last, my name is River, that is not my given name but my true name so I use it.

River

[loveableleopardy (imported)]

I really like the name River. Just something about it. It flows alright (I know that sounds corny but I can't think of anything else to say).

I would doubt it would ever happen, but if I did go to the USA one day it would be neat to go to an MOM event. Are they open to EA members or mainly just eunuchs? I don't consider myself becoming a eunuch at all (especially because of the loss of strength), but am happy to learn some more via chemical castration.

My posting on here probably hasn't made a difference to anything anyway. I am very naive to a lot of things, and this privacy-self preservation appears to be one of them.

It occurs to me now that I probably stuffed myself up as far as jobs go from late in 2008, when I had a book published by a mental health publisher Chipmunkapublishing. I wasn't doing it as someone who was suffering from mental health (at least not obviously), but it's been a nice coincidence. I am really proud of the help that they have given me.

I worked mostly for a friend last year, but before that I had a terrific job interview with a company who came back soon after and said that the person who was leaving (creating the job in the first place) had decided to return. I fully believed that at the time, but it makes sense that they might have lied now, as I had a similar story lately from another company that I had a great interview with (not all of my interviews are great by the way!). Hence the phrase "head for the hills."

My book was already online as an electronic version by the time of the interview last year.

It is really ironic, because Chipmunkapublishing have created their company to create a greater awareness and understanding of mental illness.

There is a good chance that I will have an auto-biography published with them soon too. I am excited about this but will have my parents look over it and see what they think. I only talk about others in codes (apart from my parents and brother) and it's mostly about my mistakes/delusions. I don't see that publishing a book on myself can make things any worse. In actual fact I like the idea of trying to impress a woman in this way, so I will wait and see what happens.

I have not spoken about any conversations that I have had with people on the EA so nobody need to worry.

I like the idea of writing more interesting things in the future (once I have learned more or maybe I will move into fiction). Maybe I could do this under my real name but change my name. Since I don't have a criminal record this should be possible. I do have to earn a living so I may need to look into that (I was also posting honest journals under my own name this year and despite deletion stuff still shows up on search engines - even with brief comments about masturbation!). I do not consider friendship that big a deal most of the time and would be happy to keep my work (in the future) separated from my personal life.