'Tis the season

[JesusA (imported)]

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop; 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around'; he stated in a telephone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose; cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence

'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin'?

'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said... 'A pumpkin? Shit .... is it midnight already?'

[chilliwilli (imported)]

just darn lucky there wasn't a candle in that gord.

Just call me

Cinder-Fella

chilli-

[Slammr (imported)]

I remember a few of those from my younger days. Often, the girls I woke up to the next morning, weren't nearly as pretty as they were the night before at closing time.

[chilliwilli (imported)]

This just shows the hazzards of druken debauchery...I'm sure no one here is guilty of such things.

chilli-

[Riverwind (imported)]

I guess it could have been worse, it could have been a goat.

Reminds me of the story of Guido.

I can see it now, he will be ban from all pumpkin patches for life.

This is just to funny,

River

[tugon (imported)]

This just shows the hazzards of druken debauchery...I'm sure no one here is guilty of such things.

chilli-

Just glad I never used bronzer on my ass and passed out in the pumpkin patch.

[chilliwilli (imported)]

Just glad I never used bronzer on my ass and passed out in the pumpkin patch.

LOL...

bronzer? Try day glow and K-Y.

chilli-

[chilliwilli (imported)]

I guess it could have been worse, it could have been a goat.

River

Goats are good!

chilli-

[Sweetpickle (imported)]

In the words of Willie Nelson;

"I went to bed at 2 with a 10, and woke up at 10 with a 2."

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

Given that this happened in Georgia, smack dab in the heart of the "bible belt," I imagine they are going to crucify this poor boy. The Gwinnett County "Solicitor" (that is what they call lawyers in Georgia) is probably thinking of all the publicity and pollitical "hay making" the Solicitor's office will be able to get out of this incident... "'Indecent exposure,' one count, 'Crime Agains Nature,' one count, 'Criminal tresspass,' one count, 'Destruction of agriculture or crop,' one count....etc."

I seriously and honestly hope this poor drunken fellow is acquitted of everything except the crime of stealing/destroying the pumpkin. It is bad enough that his name is now national news. But I have lived there and I can tell you, mercy, tollerance, understanding and moderation are not part of the average Georgian mentality. In some places, if a cop caught someone in that act, the only consequence would be that the drunk would have to pay for the pumpkin, but in Georgia...