On this hot sunday I'm playing with my penis and balls. I imagine that my balls have gone, invisabe hanging down between my groin by a metalballstretcher. My penis is reduced to a covered glans, kept there by a rubber band also keeping the wrinkled foreskin as a turban on top. How nice is it to fantasize about having a penectomy in all possible different shapes and forms.

fhunter wrote: Fri Apr 07, 2017 2:44 pm I am sorry to hear about your loss, Peter47-NL

+1, feel free to pm me if you feel too alone and need a chat with a stranger

CircItaly (imported) wrote: Mon Jul 30, 2018 10:20 am +1, feel free to pm me if you feel too alone and need a chat with a stranger

Thank you IncestCirc. You are right. Since puberty I tuck my penis and balls inside my abdomen and since the computer I photoshop handsome guys into nullo's. I have a book with a photo of a 16 yo naked nullo boy from India. That photo is so exciting and when I see it, I want to be like him.

On the other side "What will the neighbours say?" do I really want to get nullofied. Possible yes, with many steps to go.

a proper published book?

a proper published book?

Yes a proper published book, but I do'nt see in my library anymore so I can't give you the exact title and publisher.

My desire for a castration has gone. I keep my balls

Peter47-NL (imported) wrote: Sun Sep 30, 2018 4:29 am My desire for a castration has gone. I keep my balls

How did it happen you changed your mind? Is that a result of your consultation at the VUmc?

It is the tide.

http://forums.eunuch.org/showthread.php ... post272161

I stay to "I keep my balls", but the fantasy about castration and penectomy is still there. I still like the stories too.

The desire for a castration, being eunuch and having friends like me is fully back again. The feeling is so strong I can't beat it.

This waiting and longing for a castration is so hard.

When it no longer comes and goes but is the only driving force behind every moment of your existence,

Then you should do something about it. Not before as it is rather permanent