About my desire for castration

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

It is almost 6 years ago that I joined the Eunuch Archive. I was too shy to introduce myself, but exposed something about myself in my profile and my comments in the threads personal messages. I missed a place a thread or blog for my self where I can vent my thoughts and others can react.

I didn't like the bodily changes during puberty, banded my balls and had later a very strong desire to have my balls and sac cut off. I hoped to find and join a eunuch community. I want to understand myself and others. Why this longing for castration? Sometimes I wonder:"Why are these balls still dangling between my legs?" Like my balls are my thoughts and desire still dangling too. It is not black or white and I caught myself that the perception of my memories is far from perfect.

Dutch is my language and English often hard to read and write.

[Kangan2008 (imported)]

6 years ago I was castrated by Dr. Kimmel. I knew that I needed to be castrated for over 30 years but could not find a suitable urologist until 2008. In my opinion, you are a good candidate for the surgery. But where? By whom? Do not try it yourself.

[Danny1969 (imported)]

Another European guy who is looking for a surgery. Well, I guess I know what you feel, but in Europe is tough to get it. We have to go to US which is a little bit expensive, but if it is really important for you.... I already started to collect money.

[unencumbered (imported)]

n Europe is tough to get it.

In Europe there also are legitimate reasons why an orchiectomy would be prescribed, such as testicular lumps, accompanied by acute or chronic pain. While it might take some effort and time to reach one's goal, it can be accomplished. Read some of the testimonials from contributors on this site who have been able to attain their desire to be castrated in a medical setting. You don't need to travel to the U.S. to get it done.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

Thank you Kangan 2008, Danny 1969 and unencumered for your reactions, I'm very happy with them. It is a nice idea Kangan that I joined the EA when you had your castration. In two hours I'll leave for a week and am I not able to write a proper respond, that will be later.

What I meant with "

Like my balls are my thoughts and desire still dangling too.

" is that the desire is not as hard as a rock, it is swinging, I have tried things to reach my goal and I have my hesitations too.

[Danny1969 (imported)]

Well, I visit few doctors during last year with complaining of testicles pain, no success so far but now it looks like it moved forward. The new doc recommended new tests, incl. T level. The results should be available next week. On sono is everything ok but the pain remains

I know some guys reached the goal by this way, so I keep trying the same but docs are very strict in that matter. Even when there is not visible any issue with testicles.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

Well, I visit few doctors during last year with complaining of testicles pain, no success so far but now it looks like it moved forward. The new doc recommended new tests, incl. T level. The results should be available next week. On sono is everything ok but the pain remains

I know some guys reached the goal by this way, so I keep trying the same but docs are very strict in that matter. Even when there is not visible any issue with testicles.

Me too went to see my doctor complaining testicular pain. Especially my left testicle hurts a lot, it is one clew of varicose veins. While free balling and walking naked, it hurts with each step. I want to have that testicle cut away anyway. I was told to wear no boxer shorts only supporting briefs.

I also tried the to talk about Male to Eunuch Gender Dysphoria with a psychologist and my family doctor. The psychologist was the very first person in real life to who I spoke about the subject. He was very friendly and understanding but couldn't help me. My family doctor was a little surprised. I told him about my castration desire and the Eunuch Archive and he would take a look at the internet for the studies of Jesus. I expected him to refer to the subject at a next visit. Reading the information of the local Gender Dysphoria Clinic, I don't see any reference to the Eunuch Gender Dysphoria. The talk with the psychologist and my family doctor were huge steps for me. Now I feel a little silly. I prefer to go the regular way and not to go for some cutter.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

In Europe there also are legitimate reasons why an orchiectomy would be prescribed, such as testicular lumps, accompanied by acute or chronic pain. While it might take some effort and time to reach one's goal, it can be accomplished. Read some of the testimonials from contributors on this site who have been able to attain their desire to be castrated in a medical setting. You don't need to travel to the U.S. to get it done.

It must be a true reason for a castration and not a fake. But maybe I have to talk to some doctors again. And of course I have heard about members of the EA who got castrated in Europe by a cutter.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

Funny, I joined the Eunuch Archive two days after the birth of a grand nephew, who said when he was 3 yo very emphatically: "I'm not a boy, I'm a girl!!!"

[Danny1969 (imported)]

It´s crazy world. I mean one thinks about issue for long years and suddenly something similar happens your relative! Let¨s support "her" as much as possible. Re: testicular pain. I visit 4 doctors during last year, my experiences and feelings are very embarrassed. The 1st one looked me as I´m stupid when I asked him for testes removal due to huge pain. Another one said I must to get to used for the pain and to take daily high dosage of painkillers. Another were some mix of those. It´s really really stressful. I went through various researches and scans without clear result. The pain is often very strong, difficult to walk. I fully understand : Peter47-NL