Cleancut01 (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:21 am So thanks Qunuch81 for your honest replies. When you mentioned almost backing out, I can so see myself at that point. Next I have often wondered about the after moments, when does reality of your actions become real? Your statements that you are in disbelief at moments, so are there others that went through a period of "what did I do" are there spouses that brought the point home, is there a moment of realization, which I am quite sure is different for each individual. Anybody care to contribute? BTW Qunuch well done, I hope you recieve all you wish for from this process.

Thanks, Cleancut01! It's been exactly a week now and I'm still doing okay. I have the occasional mini-"oh shit" moment in which I either remember the moment I was castrated and go "Damn! I really did it!" or it somehow hits me that I'm different from every other guy in the room and I feel weird. These moments quickly pass, though, and I'm generally happy with how things feel--both physically and mentally.

I'm a bit concerned about how I'll feel once 2-4 weeks have passed and I'm sailing entirely on Androgel, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Qunuch81 (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:08 pm Thanks, Cleancut01! It's been exactly a week now and I'm still doing okay. I have the occasional mini-"oh shit" moment in which I either remember the moment I was castrated and go "Damn! I really did it!" or it somehow hits me that I'm different from every other guy in the room and I feel weird. These moments quickly pass, though, and I'm generally happy with how things feel--both physically and mentally.

I'm a bit concerned about how I'll feel once 2-4 weeks have passed and I'm sailing entirely on Androgel, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

My T was virtually at castrate level quite a while before I actually went for surgery and had been sailing as you put it on Axiron for several months. When I walked into the hospital to have them out, I could not wait to get rid of them. I had no "Oh shit" moments before the surgery and when I woke up afterwards, the first thing I did was to stick my hand down my pants and feel to make sure they were gone and then IO was at peace.

I have not had one second of regret in the just over 15 months since my testicles were removed. I have also not had any "Oh shit moments" since they were removed and I am daily thankful that they no longer form part of me.

I am afraid I will regret too...

Congrats. How are you doing physically and emotionally since the surgery. Would appreciate the update.

Thanks for your concern, everyone. Today's Day 10 and I continue to do fine. I just finished my course of antibiotics. Also, the soreness has been significantly less today, so I plan to lay off the 1/2 capsule of Vicodin 4x a day and just take it as needed.

I'm still pretty swollen down below, but the swelling is definitely going down. Now it's like I have a small orange in my sac instead of a grapefruit! That's the most annoying part, since I want to actually LOOK LIKE A EUNUCH down there, but I guess I just need to be patient for another week or 2 (or even 3, ugh...).

I'm also able to get hard, jerk off, and cum. It's harder to cum than it used to be, but seeing that I'm on two pumps of Androgel plus I probably still have some of my natural T in my body, I doubt it's a T-thing. More likely it's because my plumbing still hasn't healed entirely. Also, I was at the beach today and very much noticing the guys in Speedos, so desire is not an issue for me, LOL!

Psychologically I'm doing fine. Nothing really new there. I have caught myself wondering "was it really worth it?" because so far the only difference seems to be a swollen sack and the need to take Androgel every morning, but I suspect that I'll be changing my tune to a more positive one once the swelling's down and I've really achieved my goal.

Happy one month Eunuchversary Qunuch81! How are things going? Has the swelling gone away completely? How about balancing your T levels? Is your new Eunuch life proving to be what you hoped for? I've very much enjoyed hearing about your journey (one I may make one day). Congratulations on your big step! Hope you and your partner celebrate today

Hey NYCGarion, thanks for the good wishes!

The swelling's way down in the scrotum except for the ends of my cords, which are still pretty big. Even so, it doesn't look like I still have balls or anything, so that's nice.

Balancing T levels has been fine. I'm taking 2 pumps of Androgel every morning and frankly, I feel like my sex drive is higher than it was before. Not surprising since my T with balls was 297, which is low end of normal. I'll bet you anything it's significantly higher on the Androgel, and will find out for sure tomorrow, as I'm seeing my endocrinologist then for a check-up on everything.

I love love love being a eunuch. It just feels more "me", if that makes sense. Physically I like the look/feel while mentally knowing that I'm different from other guys is...well, maybe not "a rush" but certainly a satisfying feeling. I had for awhile identified as genderqueer/non-binary though much closer to male than female, and now that my balls are gone, I feel like my body is in alignment with that vision of myself.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Don't rush it. Take your time and figure out as best you can if it's really what you want. But on the other hand, don't spend your whole life agonizing over it if you become reasonably certain it's the right choice for you. That's the best general advice I can give. Hugs!

Qunuch81 (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 22, 2015 7:09 pm Hey NYCGarion, thanks for the good wishes!

I had for awhile identified as genderqueer/non-binary though much closer to male than female, and now that my balls are gone, I feel like my body is in alignment with that vision of myself.

This is so great to hear! i'm in the same situation, in terms of identity. i have a surgical consult for my orchiectomy tomorrow morning. i'm nervous, but very, very excited to finally be moving forward! Congrats!

Hey, Qunuch81, how are you healing? Incision closed? How's the swelling on the cords?

Great, great, great! I'm pretty much all healed. The cord swelling has reduced greatly (though I can't wait for them to fully retract into my body...which could take up to a year, unfortunately). The incision's been closed for awhile. Loving being a eunuch every day